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#15
by
bella
on 31 Jan, 2013 14:32
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And on a happier note just made up for yesterday's missed shave and I'm smooth, shiny, and happy as a clam.
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#16
by
buddha
on 31 Jan, 2013 14:48
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Find something better to do in late March. The beaches in Florida are quite nice that time of year......
I was thinking the same thing. However, the question in my mind right now is whether you have been around any of these people since you shaved your head? If not then the whole question of what criticism they'll have about your head is based on something else, not the shaved head. Maybe this is an old tape playing because some of these people were hyper-critical of you years ago. You are assuming that they will find any reason to criticize you at any turn including the new look at your family reunion.
I'm not saying that your assumption, in this case, is wrong. All the critical people I've known are almost always critical. If not of me then something else. I think that it's an effort to feel in control in a world that may be totally out of control for them. In any case I don't know that avoiding the reunion is going to accomplish anything positive in the long run.
If you go to the reunion try to go there with a clear and relaxed mind rather than in anticipation of a conflict. Think of those people that you haven't seen in too long that you love and have really missed and of reconnecting with them. Be kind to all, even those who may be afflicted with negativity. Other people present will see that you had no interest in initiating conflict and the drama that will unfold will be interesting to watch from a discreet distance with detachment.
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#17
by
Gary~
on 31 Jan, 2013 15:43
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If you decide not to go, Hawaii's a nice place to visit. Nice weather and no one will even notice that you're sly. Good luck!
Hmmm... Hawaii. That's gotta be tempting Bella.
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#18
by
isleepinthebuff
on 31 Jan, 2013 15:48
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At the end of the day it's your head. We are all human beings it's natural we pass judgements. I have very little to do with my family as they very rarely have good to say.
At the end of the day people will comment more because you are a female and femininity is linked with hair, it's just the way it is. People won't always understand why you have done it, even I would say personally I am not a huge fan of women with shaved heads, so I can't really be a hyprocrite and say I can't see why they won't pass comment, it's just the way things are I guess, we as human beings do make judgements and decisions around what we think and feel
It's not expected that a woman would want to shave their hair off, but if
you like it and as it's y
our hair and head it's no one's business. Let the family talk if it's not you they are talking about it sounds like it will be someone else.
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#19
by
warhawk
on 31 Jan, 2013 16:36
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And on a happier note just made up for yesterday's missed shave and I'm smooth, shiny, and happy as a clam.
Hi Bella: 1st of all welcome to the sly fraternity. Glad that ya joined us. I love your attitude. I have been super busy at work that I have not been as "active" on the boards. So... this is my 1st time meeting you.
Glad that you are "happy as a clam". That is how I feel after a relaxing DE face and dome shave. I hope you keep your avatar name of Bella. I like it. Also... I hope you keep your chrome dome for the upcoming reunion. Please keep us posted.
WARHAWK
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#20
by
bella
on 04 Feb, 2013 19:38
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Thanks everyone for their thoughtful replies and encouragement! Work/life got too crazy to post much in depth.
Buddha your post especially made me think -- it certainly is old tapes playing, and it likely has 90% nothing to do with the specific issue of me shaving my head. Shaving my head is a timely scapegoat for everyone right now.
I am also thinking very seriously about not going. A close friend who lives a distance away suggested a roadtrip for the same week.
Still it's so easy to let some people get under your skin sometimes!
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#21
by
Switchy
on 04 Feb, 2013 21:13
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A roadtrip sounds a heck of alot more fun bella
family reunions unless they are all a bunch of drunks never have impressed me LOL !
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#22
by
Beardman
on 05 Feb, 2013 01:40
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I don't think that skipping out on the family reunion is a good idea, it might be something you kick yourself for later.
I recently attended a family reunion of a sorts with my mum's side of the family. Believe me, I initially copped a fair bit of flack over my beard. probably a lot similar to what you are expecting to get from your bsly dome. After an hour or so, everyone had moved on. I did earn myself the nickname Muhammed for the weekend from a couple of my cousins, but I just wore the title and played along with it. The rest of the family after initial reactions just treated me as normal. I'd like to think you'd get a very similar treatment.
On a whole though I'm really glad I went, because I got to see many of my family members that I honestly haven't seen for as long as I can remember, and reminisce about the good old days. with the family members I actually enjoyed the company of, the ones I didn't really care for, I didn't spend much time with, other then to exchange pleasantries.
But at the end of the day, it is all down to you, but I think if you don't go you'll be missing out.
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#23
by
slymyke
on 05 Feb, 2013 20:14
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Bella,
Come to think of it, I can remember my Grandmother saying negative things about my Mom's hair.. and my Mom saying negative things about my Sister's hair. My wife's Grandmother says negative things about her daughter's hair and about my wife's hair... -Let's face it, you could show up with a Farrah Fawcett (or Jacklyn Smith) hair-do and they would still have SOMETHING to say about it.. so do wtf you want. (Just don't show up with a Kate Jackson hair do, or they will have a right to say something...lol.
You would avoid stress by going on a trip instead of the reunion, but you would miss the chance to show off your new "do" and I think there is something important inside you that wants this to happen for whatever reason.
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#24
by
bella
on 05 Feb, 2013 20:34
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Oh you guys make me too thoughtful! Both sides bring up excellent points.
I shall ponder while I enjoy being sly.
I think a big part of it will be telling my mom I went sly. She doesn't know, and she won't approve, but she will have my back.
Once I cross that hurdle I think I'll be in much better shape to judge how I can handle family reunions. I am 16 days in and sticking to my extemely tolerant crew of friends; haven't done much with the more conservative types.
Mom's reaction and her justification for supporting me will have a lot of impact on how I will/would experience this reunion. My mom will most likely insist that I am either trying to emulate a friend I had 17 years ago who shaved her head, or that I'm trying to upset the Catholic contingent of the family by being like Sinead O'Connor (too bad I can't sing). (Yes, really).
Families...sigh....
You guys are amazingly supportive, keep it coming as it comes to you!
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#25
by
Beardman
on 05 Feb, 2013 21:26
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You're most welcome, we all know you'll make the right decision for yourself
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#26
by
Sir Harry
on 07 Feb, 2013 05:16
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Bella, if you go, just have a good time....and don't entertain stupidity, let stupidity entertain you!
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#27
by
slyjoe
on 07 Feb, 2013 05:24
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just remember people will get used to it, and after a while it wont be so bad.
and do you really care about the people who don't get used to it?
Nope. I dont care what they think. My life, my choice.
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#28
by
calbito
on 08 Feb, 2013 22:54
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Sister sly, that is cool. Some now I feel like I am speaking to a nun. LOL ...
Hey, there's the answer! Go to the reunion as a nun!
Get one of those old-fashioned outfits where the fabric covers all of your head except your face, and has one of those huge cardboard bonnets with the long black robes. Carry a ruler or a stick with you and I guarantee nobody will give you any lip!
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#29
by
Gary~
on 08 Feb, 2013 23:00
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Go as a Theravadin Buddhist nun then you won't need the headgear.