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Man...this is hard... by goingbald20 on 26 Sep, 2012 00:53
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So, I kept my promise and have been following my path to slyness... I have shaved my head the closest for now... I would say I am 95% there, but still not 100% sly yet. I am still trying to get used to it.
I have had support from family and friends, a couple of negative comments but most are positive or neutral.
And like I said, since my last post I am still trying to get used to the new look. Everything has been improving in my life because I have been reading and learning a lot about motivation, self-confidence, success, and trust me it has been working.
But, when everything seems to be working something happens that ruins it. A couple days ago, I was leaving the mall, and found an old friend from high school that I haven't seen in a while, he came up to me and was like "Bro, what did you do to your hair?" (He doesn't know I am balding)... "Let it grow back, you look like a Conehead now, for real"... I didn't try to pay alot of attention to the comment.
And, next day reality kicked in, I mean I got to be honest, before shaving my head, I used to have nice fade haircut, everywhere I went I was able to talk to girls, and even sometimes I went farther than just talking with them. However, lately since I started to shave my head, there has been ZERO girls, 0. It really sucks, even the girls that I used to know that they were down do anything whenever, are not that interested anymore, it is pretty sad and disappointing.
I know, all of you might said, that my old friend from high school made just a "comment" but, if I think about it, even though everything in my life has been improving lately. There are two things that have not improved yet, since I started shaving... my game with girls, and the way I see myself in the mirror
It is not easy... Sometimes, I am accepting the problem... But other times I just wish there was a cure.
This is an updated picture, as you can see I am almost there, but I am still wishing that I could atleast have a flat, or round head on top, like many of you guys. Unfortunately, that is not my case.
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#1 by Slyfive on 26 Sep, 2012 00:58
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Sorry to hear that you're still finding it hard, to me you have a great head shape. The issue with the ladies is probably due to your confidence level more than anything else. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to own it for other people to be more receptive. You're on the road my friend, just keep walking.
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#2 by Paul the Headblader on 26 Sep, 2012 01:07
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hi again.
"be who you are, say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter"
think of it..do you live to please yourself or the others? -
#3 by Bilko1 on 26 Sep, 2012 04:15
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Hi & welcome to SlyBaldGuys forum.
I agree with what SlyFive & PaulTheHeadBlader said.
I would add that your head shape is fine & that you would look great bald. Taking the blade to your own scalp definitely does something for your confidence, I can vouch for that as can others in this forum.
Be brave & shave off the remaining stubble & expect a confidence boost.
Regards,
Bilko -
#4 by Frontier Guy on 26 Sep, 2012 04:51
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I am still wishing that I could atleast have a flat, or round head on top, like many of you guys. Unfortunately, that is not my case.
"Wishing" to have something different indicates you have not embraced the new style. And until you embrace it you will not be showing confidence in yourself. It's just going to take some time because it is a big change for you. And although it's a realistic move based on your thinning hair, you haven't completed the emotional adjustment.
It is just going to take a bit more time. I'm guessing that in another month or two when you look in the mirror you won't see a bald guy anymore ... you'll just see yourself. That's when you'll really have integrated being Sly.
You're making great progress in many ways, just be patient as some of the others catch up.
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#5 by mrzed on 26 Sep, 2012 05:11
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You could put your head in a vice and mash the top flat. Hum. That would hurt. Don't do that.
There is a wide variety of nuances in head shapes. Your's is just one of them. You look find. I see a lot of African-American men with shaved heads. I think that they especially look good bald.
Some of my African American friends say that their tight curly hair 'hurts' if they let it grow to any length. For pure physical comfort, they shave their heads bald.
I'd just shrug off the cone-head comment. They guy is being insensitive in his remarks. You don't really look like a cone head. So his statement is just not true. No need to fret over 'untrue statements about your appearance'.
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#6 by leighmundo40 on 26 Sep, 2012 05:41
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People can say the most hurtful stuff without even thinking. I know how you feel, you think you are doing fine, then BAM! someone says a comment and you feel like crap right?
Thing is, you look great in your pictures, definately not a conehead!
Go with what makes you most comfortable and happy -
#7 by Bluebriz on 26 Sep, 2012 06:50
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You're being too hard on yourself! For many people, the shaved head takes some getting used to.
As some said earlier in this thread, soon enough you'll look in the mirror and see a guy who looks cool. Then you'll see the girls are there again.
Good luck man! -
#8 by usmcpelon on 26 Sep, 2012 08:09
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I can honestly say you look great and you should careless what people say about your bald head. I've been bald now for 3 years and could careless what anybody would say about my shaved bald head. Not that anybody has ever said anything bad about it. In fact I have not had a bad comment about it since I shaved bald 3 years ago this September. Do yourself a favor and accept the inevitable. We guys here at slybaldguys will for ever be bald and we love that way and so should you.
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#9 by Sir Harry on 26 Sep, 2012 09:32
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It's normal at your age to get a little down due to adverse comments to a life-changing event such as shaving your head...but let's put a spin on your "friend" Do you think he was a little envious because you had the balls to take the step to shave your head...98% of adverse comments from people are due to insecurities with themselves. It's going to take time, but you are still young and will get there...Bald guys find nice girls all the time if they just simply show that they are secure with themselves, others be damned. Good luck to you, man.
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#10 by Slynito on 26 Sep, 2012 12:31
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You look good shaved and most who see you may not say it, but also think so. Don't worry about others opinions. For most of the rude, negative and offensive comments come from very insecure people...they don't matter, you do. Best of luck.
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#11 by Andrei on 26 Sep, 2012 12:50
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I know negative comments shouldn't count but sometimes they touch a soft point and somehow they matter.
I think you heave no problems with your head shape and the bald look suits you really well.
Can your friend's comment change anything? Will it make your hair thicker?
Definitely not. So be practical about it and move on.
In order to look good to attract the ladies you must feel good about yourself.
Have you thought about Bilko1's advice?
That difference between a clipper and a razor can be all you need to boost your self confidence level.
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#12 by marty22 on 26 Sep, 2012 14:05
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Agreed. Youre too hard on yourself.
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#13 by goingbald20 on 26 Sep, 2012 14:28
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Thank you everyone, I understand exactly what you guys are trying to tell me, because, sometimes when I am helping people with their personal problems, I can give them tips, and tell them what I really think, even though they don't see it the way I see it.
Don't get me wrong, I am on the path, and I'll stay on the path, almost there... and when I finally take the courage to do it, Ill post here in SBG.
But, sometimes you have to be realistic, if I wouldn't have been going bald, then trust me probably things would be better, and I wouldn't be worrying about this.
I am living my life without trying to impress others, but I guess everyone wants to to be accepted all the time and if we are not accepted, then we can feel rejection, which trust me it is not a great feeling to experience. -
#14 by kalbo on 27 Sep, 2012 21:43
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Great attitude in dealing with life. Nothing wrong with the shape of your head.