Gearhead, your story is alot like mine. I am sorry to hear you feel that way about gyms though, When I started at the gym I was probably a bit over 300 pounds and I never once felt that people were looking down on me... Maybe you are just going to the wrong gym if you are getting this kind of reaction! One thing I noticed, (even I tend to do it now) is that people tend to check out the new people a bit more... but after the first few visits most people will stop paying such close attention to you.
To lose weight it is really about balancing what you eat, to make sure that you are putting in a little less food in that you are burning off. Stay away from the carbs (pasta, rice, sugar drinks, white bread, that kind of thing) and try and eat some more protein and vegies (make sure you eat your greens, they are full of all the good stuff and best of all they help you poop! haha).
You also want to be trying to do an hour or so of exercise a day if you can, be it weights or cardio, I personally alternate daily between the 2 over a 6 day workout week, so that's 3 weights, 3 cardio a week with 1 rest day (you want at least 1 rest day a week for your body to recover). With this method if I rein my diet in and push hard I can lose 3-4 pounds a week, but seeing you are starting out I'd be easing into it.
I don't know how much you are willing to put into this home gym idea, but if you were to get yourself a decent set of dumbells and a barbell with some plates that will be enough to get your set started. Then just google something like "beginner strength training" or something like that. Please though, and I am speaking from experience here, make sure you know exactly how to do an lift before you do it, especially if you are doing something like squats or deadlifts, your technique needs to be really good to go heavy with them and one slip in concentration and you could injure yourself (been there done that, it isn't fun), if you know someone that can help you with your technique initially then use their knowledge, or else watch lots of how to videos on youtube, or
bodybuilding.com (this site is full of useful information).
Until you get some equipment behind you though, if you google no weight workouts you will find some cool information to get you started, at a quick look I found this,
http://laurensfitness.com/2008/07/02/no-equipment-no-excuses-20-exercises-you-can-do-at-home/ she even has some videos on how to do to do some of the exercises, so that is handy.
Oh that is another thing, if you can get someone else to make the journey with you then that will be the best thing you can do! It will stop you from getting bored in between sets, and also you have someone there to help you if you get yourself into trouble!
I hope you have found this helpful, I'm sure that some better qualified people could jump in and provide some more advice, I can only say what has worked for me. Since I started going to the gym about 15 months ago now I think it is, I am sitting on just over 200 pounds and most of that I have lost in the past 9 months since I started hitting the gym 6 nights a week and setting myself goals and sticking to them. I now only want to lose another 5 pounds or so and then I am going to start focusing even more on just building muscle (my gym partner and I are talking about going to a 5 night weight program), because like you, I've got used to being a big boy and want to kind of stay that way, but by swapping out what is left of my fat with muscle.
Best of luck with your journey though mate, when you start to get the ball rolling join TY, myself and a few of the other boys over in the sly fitness challenge threads and post your monthly goals up with us and join in the fun of reaching them together! I have no doubt that if you put your mind to it you will be able to achieve anything you set your mind too.
If you have any more questions I will do my best to answer them.