Contemplations of a balding man... - page 1 -

• Contemplations of a balding man... by Jonsey on 29 Mar, 2012 11:20
• Hi, this is my first post here (but I did read many of your posts).
  
  I'm a 33 y/o guy, not married.
  
  I've been suffering from hairloss since I was 16 y/o. This means I've been agonizing over my hairloss for most of the years of my life (!).
  
  My hairloss has been very gradual, and mainly diffuse (all over the head), and this is why I can still appear as a guy with (mostely) a full head of hair, by using a sort of a combover together with toppik.
  
  The thing is, I'm tired of these hairloss worries, tired of constantly worrying how my hair looks, tired of worrying my combover has passed the point of looking obvious, tired of all the care I need to give it in the morning to look normal, and tired of agonizing over the continued shedding. Tired of it all !!
  
  I want to shave all my hair, but am afraid.
  
  I'm in a dilema. On the one side, I'm saying if I'll shave my head and look great, that will be the "perfect crime": no more worries of hairloss, and a good look too, the holy grail will be achieved . But, on the other hand, maybe I won't look good shaved (I have a really oblong face, and quite a big nose).
  
  Since I'm in the dating scene, it's really important for me to look my best, and if with the hair I have today I look better than shaved, then I prefer to keep the hair (and deal with the worries I guess...).
  
  I do understand that shaving my hair might boost my confidence and this could help with the girls too, but I think this will only happen if I'll think (or get honest opinions) that I look good shaved.
  
  One thought that had come into mind is "scalp-micropigmentation" (ala HIS clinic) - this might look better on me than a horseshoe... and if it works well, people will think I shaved from choice which is a bonus for me...
  
  I look at the guys at the university where I do my PhD, and in all honesty, almost all the guys with a shaved head don't look attractive (and it seems none of them did it from choice, they all show the horseshoe pattern). I mean, some people can look attractive with a shaved head (like the actor of the "Hitman" movie, or the "Bald Guyz" male model in the ad on this site), but really many guys don't have the facial features to support a really good look without hair...  
  
  If I was married like most of you guys, it would have been a much easier choice for me... but I can't allow myself to scare the girls off by an intimidating or unattractive look.
  
    
• #1 by Paul the Headblader on 29 Mar, 2012 11:40
• hey and welcome. this is the right place to ask for help.
  I say you should give it a try, and I promise you will like it.
  Most of the guys around were balding, but they've found the way to freedom ( and I promise you this is no bullshit). The only guys out there trying to fool you are those who promise you hair.
• #2 by Laser Man on 29 Mar, 2012 11:42
• Let's take this from the top (no pun intended):
  
  You have spent half of your life worrying about your hair.  This is a tremendous waste of energy and brainpower.  A conclusion would be to shave your head and redirect the energy and brainpower to a better use.
  
  You aren't sure you'll look good with a shaved head, but you don't sound convinced that you look good with thinning hair.  A good experiment would be to shave your head for 30 days and see if the experience changes your views.  If you don't like it, grow your hair back and wait while the thinning continues.  In reality, the only opinion that matters is your own - no-one else can give you an "honest" opinion in this case.  If you like it and they don't, why would you trust their judgement over yours.  If you don't like and they do, would you keep doing something you don't like?
  
  Lastly, why on earth go to the trouble and expense of scalp micro-pigmentation?  This will empty your pocket and in the end fool absolutely no-one.
• #3 by tomgallagher on 29 Mar, 2012 11:44
• Use clippers and make it shorter and shorter until you get to a length  that you like and stop.
• #4 by Jonsey on 29 Mar, 2012 11:51
• Thank you for your comments guys
  
  The thing is, if I shave my hair, everybody will see how bad my hairloss have become, I'll not be able to fool anybody anymore after that. Moreover, it will take me 6 months at least to grow it back to the state it looks now which allows me to look like I'm not practically bald.
  
  Regarding scalp-pigmentation, are you sure it will fool no one ? I mean I've seen some convincing pictures and testemonials... It is true that it's hard to make it look real in an area on the head that you have no hairs at all, but I've seen some convincing pics of people who had diffuse thinning... But I do agree it will empty my pockets, so I better know what I'm doing...
  
  Btw, this is how I look today:
  http://hotornot.com/rate/profile/Someone12
  
  You can choose "more photos" at the bottom of that picture to see more pics of me. Is my combover convincing ?
• #5 by mangosink12572 on 29 Mar, 2012 11:59
• saw your photo  - -not bad  - -as Tom said "go shorter and shorter until you find a length you like" 
  
  BALD is beautiful and  there is not a girl that I know that doesn't like a bald dome on a guy - - -and they love to rub it.
• #6 by Jonsey on 29 Mar, 2012 12:02
• Quote from: mangosink12572 on 29 Mar, 2012 11:59

  Post a photo and the we can evaluate the situation - - -
  
  BALD is beautiful and  there is not a girl that I know that doesn't like a bald dome on a guy - - -and they love to rub it.
  

  
  I did post a link to a bunch of my photos at my former post
• #7 by mangosink12572 on 29 Mar, 2012 12:05
• I found  your photo - -thanks
• #8 by Jonsey on 29 Mar, 2012 12:21
• I'm not sure I like the idea of cutting it shorter and not totally shaved.
  
  The reason is, once I start to cut it shorter, the "combover hairs" will have to go. At this point I will look severly balding. I hate this look. I want a smooth look. Plus if it's not totally shaved then I will keep agonizing over the continued shedding. I want to rid myself completely from thinking about hair for the rest of my life. Otherwise why should I change anything at all ?
• #9 by TheSlyBear on 29 Mar, 2012 13:09
• Sounds like you're ready then.
  
  As already suggested, take the 30 Day Challenge. You've got nothing to lose but your insecurities.
• #10 by xnewyawka on 29 Mar, 2012 13:30
• Jonsey, welcome to the forum. You sound like your very tired of dealing with the futile routine of making your hair look like more than it is. I really don't know how some guys can go through all that trouble to make their mpb look better, when in actuality what your doing is fooling yourself, and most of the time no one else.
  The most simple and honest solution, and one I've always felt and followed myself, is to take it down. Whether it's gradually buzzing it to a comfortable length with clippers, like a few of the bro's have suggested, or shaving it all off.
  I would try the buzz first to see how you like it. It's a known fact that just doing this will make you feel neater and more in control, and it makes a difference.
  I think it's better to take control of the situation. Stand tall and proud, be honest with yourself and all those around you. You'll soon find out it shows, in new found confidence. Then you will be able to deal with other things more freely.
  Give it a shot. we're sure you'll like it.   
• #11 by Slyfive on 29 Mar, 2012 14:05
• No woman will ever say 'I wish you still had that combover', I'm afraid that it is obvious from your photo. I worried that when I shaved down people would see how much I was balding... They already could and they commended my choice!
  
  If you're on the dating scene, it's important that people can see 'you' straight up, and if they see a guy who's obviously hiding his hairloss, then they'll wonder what else you're hiding. Good luck with the shave brother, we're all here to help.
• #12 by BaldHDbiker on 29 Mar, 2012 14:51
• Welcome aboard.
  
  Go to the St. Baldricks site and find an event in your area. You can raise money for pediatric cancer research and get your head shaved at the same time.
  
  Try it for 30 days and you'll be a free man with no worries.
• #13 by D.A.L.U.I. on 29 Mar, 2012 15:29
• Quote from: Jonsey on 29 Mar, 2012 11:20

  but I can't allow myself to scare the girls off by an intimidating or unattractive look.  
  

  Well, you're a "balding" guy, like a whole lot of us here.  And unless you're the first, think about this--how many of the girls come on with a, "Oh, that thinning hair really turns me on?"  And, if you go to the beach, pool or whatever all the work spreading the thinning mop out goes out with the tide!  Balding never, but never reverses--so hide it in plain sight, shave it off. 
• #14 by AJB1015 on 29 Mar, 2012 15:43
• You have nothing to lose by at least buzzing it down to give you a better idea of what the "sly" you will look like. I buzzed my hair yesterday for the first time to prepare me for my shaved head, and I'm actually pretty pleased with the results. Back in my hair days, I never wore it short, and only started cutting it short when I noticed I was losing it. The truth is, like many guys have said on this site, if you have mpb, than its just a matter of time before the tide of hair rolls out. Better get used to it now and embrace your new look! You're lucky that you're dealing with this in your thirties. There's loads of bald guys in their thirties, but very few bald 21 year olds!