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Facial scars keep me from going sly, how do I overcome them? by Scarface on 07 Oct, 2011 10:05
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Hi guys, this is my first post on this forum.
I was always one of those bald by choice guys. I have a full head of hair but I liked the way I looked without hair. Until 3 years ago... I got into a major accident which left me with eight horrible disfiguring scars on my face. I have been growing my head and facial hair for a while. I now look like a viking with long hair and a beard. I don't like it but I don't have the guts to shave it all off.
I've had cosmetic surgery done and it improved the scars a little bit, but they mostly stretched back and are still very pink and noticeable. I've tried everything, from lasers to scar creams. The only thing that helps to conceale them is having long hair and a beard. The scar that bothers me the most is on the side of my head on the temple area. It's a cut, 10 cm's long and 1 cm wide and no hair grows in that scar. Also have a huge one on my forehead and on my cheek.
It makes me very depressed and my social life has come to an absolute zero. I am avoiding crowds because of my insecurities. After the accident I've tried the sly look for a while but I noticed people were staring at my scars and some people even ask me if I got into a fight or something. I just hate those looks, and it is hard to tell that traumatising story how I got them day in day out to people who ask me about my scars.
Also, I had only one girlfriend since the accident and we broke up a while ago. I need to get back to dating but it is hard for me... Some people say, hey chicks dig scars and the scars make you look badass. But I don't think it's true and they just say that to make me feel better.
I will have to live with them for the rest of my life and that seems like a long road ahead because everyday is a struggle. -
#1 by Paul the Headblader on 07 Oct, 2011 10:29
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do you mind if I ask how old are you?
I see people in Roumanie having the same problem, being afraid to go out and meet people just because they're not .."perfect".
When looking at a person, a girl for example, think that she isn't perfect, that she also has problems, maybe bigger than yours, but she can just hide 'em.
Trust me, I like talking with people like you, I can realise what you all feel.
I am sure that you'll get the hang of it:)
My bests, you're a normal person to me
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#2 by Scarface on 07 Oct, 2011 11:33
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Thanks for your reply Paul. I am 25 years old. Yes the problem is that I can not hide the scars. Only with long hair and a beard but this makes me look like a hobo. I just wish I could shave everything off without having to worry about people seeing my facial scars.
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#3 by Chavster on 07 Oct, 2011 11:57
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Roumanie
Romania.
Romania.
Romania.
Romania. -
#4 by Paul the Headblader on 07 Oct, 2011 12:42
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Thanks for your reply Paul. I am 25 years old. Yes the problem is that I can not hide the scars. Only with long hair and a beard but this makes me look like a hobo. I just wish I could shave everything off without having to worry about people seeing my facial scars.
you're most than welcome.
25, such a beautiful age. Don't worry about what people think or say about you. Do your best to feel good, to interact with people around you. This is the key to happiness. Find yourself a group of friends (or go out with those you had before the accident). Accidents happen, think that there are people way worse than you.
These facts only you can change ( when it comes to you
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#5 by TheSlyBear on 07 Oct, 2011 13:14
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What do facial scars have to do with hair on your head?
My outlook: the scars are yours and you must live with them. The same way that I must live with the large strawberry birth mark that covers my entire right cheek. Looking like a hobo certainly can't look any better than looking scarred. Just shave and be done with it. -
#6 by Scarface on 07 Oct, 2011 17:05
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What do facial scars have to do with hair on your head?
My outlook: the scars are yours and you must live with them. The same way that I must live with the large strawberry birth mark that covers my entire right cheek. Looking like a hobo certainly can't look any better than looking scarred. Just shave and be done with it.
One of the scars (the biggest of them all) is located on my scalp, on the temple area. It's a wide cut where no hair grows anymore. If I grow my head hair out the hair falls over the scar. -
#7 by kalbo on 07 Oct, 2011 17:35
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Have you heard of the phrase "scarred people are beautiful"? You can not do anything to change your scars anymore since you said you have undergone surgeries to improve them already. What you can do is change your attitude, treat your scars as a testament of what a survivor you are. Best regards.
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#8 by TheSlyBear on 07 Oct, 2011 17:36
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At this point, I guess we need pictures.
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#9 by aarrggh on 07 Oct, 2011 18:19
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#10 by Mike on 07 Oct, 2011 21:03
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I have scars, probably not as bad as yours but scars none the less. When I was around 7 (Im 22 now)I got attacked by a dog. It knocked me down and tore into my face. I have a pinky length scar on my upper left cheek, my whole upper lip was torn off, I had a pill bottle size hole in my lower right cheek, and a 4" chunk out of my right shoulder. I had a good reconstructive surgeon and my family used honey on the scars to help but theyre still bad. I was able to get filler in my lip and shoulder but the one under my left eye looks like I got punched, my lip is still lumpy, and I get nasty thick horse-like hair growing out of the scar in my lower right cheek scar but none really around it. I always get tons of looks and even as recent as a couple years ago I hated them but now I've come to terms with it, scars are like a road map and give some of us a better topographical map than others. I tell people that I have these scars because I survived that incident. I could have been killed but I made it so I can share my cool scar story with everyone.
I have a nasty scar on my left ear too from where it split from my head in a bike accident, not as noticable but still there. And my really nasty scar is on my stomach. Way back when I was born I had to get surgery involving a twin and my small/large intestine not connecting. Its very obvious and goes half way across my stomach, its about a millimeter deep. When I take my shirt off I get looks but as I said-it proves that I survived.
In time you will learn to rock it. Inside you are Sly, just show it on the outside. Shave it off and let the self confidence you had before the accident shine. When people stare, dont give them time to think bad things and scrunch their noses, just flat out say "I had a bad accident and I survived and got these awesome scars to show for it!" -
#11 by chgobuzzbald on 07 Oct, 2011 22:33
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This may sound odd but I have seen micro medical tattoos used to mimc different skin colors and even the look of hair stubble. There is a tattoo artist in Florida USA who does it, Artistry Hair Concepts. Also in the UK a place called HIS Hair. Im sure there nust be others too.
The thought being that if a beard like stubble tattoo could be used to simulate the look of buzzed/shaved hair on the face and head it may help you feel better about going beardless and with a shaved or buzzed head. Maybe google medical tattooing in your area.
As an alternative you can have hair follicles transplanted into the scars from your head or other areas of your body. It is called follicular unit.
I have had good results on scars using a fractional laser called Pixel brand here in Chicago. -
#12 by Scarface on 08 Oct, 2011 13:29
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Thanks for the replies guys, I appreciate it.
Mike, wow impressive story, thanks for sharing! Good to hear you don't feel self conscious about your scars.
chgobuzzbald, The cosmetic surgeon I went to see told me that transplanted hair follicles have a small change to survive in scar tissue because the blood flow in scars is much less than in normal healthy skin.
Never heard about stubble tattoo's before. Do you have more info on that?
Thanks
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#13 by rfn on 08 Oct, 2011 14:01
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Scarface sounds derogatory and negative, so I'm just going to call you Guy.
It might be a cliche, but what's inside is what matters, not what's on top. I'm insecure because I have a dent in my head; it's wasn't even from a major accident or anything. I accidentally hit my head one day, and ever since then, I've had a dent. Even though my case is something minor, I can understand how it feels to be insecure about the way you look. You are your own person, however. Try to find a way to make peace with it. I am pretty sure that you're a good guy, and that's the important part.
Like Mike said, your scars show that you survived. You've been given a second chance and you have your whole life ahead of you. It would be pretty nonsensical to survive a horrible accident that you had no control over, only to allow yourself to die emotionally. If anyone has a problem with that, they probably have a bigger problem with themselves.
Carpe diem Guy! (And if you need support, you'll struggle to find a group of guys more supportive that the sly bald guys over here) -
#14 by Acme on 14 Oct, 2011 23:23
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Welcome.
I understand what you're going through. I had hideous, raised, pinkish scars all over my feet from several surgeries for clubbed feet. It wasn't even on my face and I dreaded going to swim parties or beaches and did what ever I could to hide my feet. Not to even mention how weird it looked when I would walk/run (I loved gym class
) But, I wouldn't even be able to walk without those scars (surgery). And I loved wearing the leg braces every night for years 
What happens is the older you get, the more the scars fade (of course this has been decades but they are now barely visable) and the more you realize it just isn't worth beating yourself up over. It is what it is! You're a little young to come to that realization but if you can, you'll feel much better. Display confidence and the scars will fade even more. And if someone asks you about them, just say you don't want to discuss it if you don't. I know this is easier said than done but you have to deal with what you've been dealt.
I think if you put yourself out there, you will find many people warm up to you. I feel much more comfortable with the less perfect people than the picture perfect people that I always think will reject me.
