To Bring It Up or Not?

Go Down

To Bring It Up or Not? by turboman on 02 Nov, 2010 14:15
Hi Everyone,

Wanted to start off by saying how great this site is and has provided a different perspective compared to some of the other forums out there.

To give some background, I have been slowly losing my hair over the past 2-3 years, never really noticed until I saw pictures and then started to freak out this past summer when I noticed the amount of hair in my hands during a shower. I am now 27, and during my teens I used to buzz my hair really close and that was the way I preferred my hair. It just happens that I have kept it longer during my 20's. I think it was the thought of losing my hair, not by choice, that had me initially freaked out but I have gotten over that as I actually prefer buzzing my head and eventually going sly.

The issue that I am struggling with is the following:

I have been with my gf for the past year or so and we are serious to the point that I am ready to propose to her and get engaged. It just happens that I am losing my hair at a much faster pace over the past 4 months and realize that by next year I will have to start buzzing it real close or go sly. I want to know if I should bring the fact up that I am losing my hair and will start buzzing it or even go sly with the gf before getting engaged. For some reason I feel like I need to discuss this with her. My brother thinks it is a non-issue and am stupid for even thinking about discussing this with her. I wanted to get some opinions from other's about what to do.

I just want some honest opinions, thanks.
#1 by D.A.L.U.I. on 02 Nov, 2010 14:20
Would you be willing to wear a "horseshoe" if she said she didn't want you sly, what if she said wear a rug? If she feels the same as you about your future together--it isn't the hair, it's what is under the hair or what's left of it. Tell your plan, don't ask her, and do it. You have bigger issues than being a bald guy, you're a bald guy in love. Go for it--the head and the wife!
#2 by Arnie on 02 Nov, 2010 18:08
What he said!!!
#3 by Mikekoz13 on 03 Nov, 2010 07:15
If it's Love it won't matter to her.

If you feel the need to talk to her about it, then do it...... but I'm betting she has already noticed and doesn't care because she does Love you.

#4 by Rob on 03 Nov, 2010 08:59
cant add anything to what they said above: these guys know what they are talkin about: go with 'em.
#5 by Bolohead on 30 Mar, 2011 12:14
Back a while ago: My wife actually came in while I was shaving it off, and said: "I told you that I don't like it completely shaved off" ~ I looked at her, and just reminded her just who's head this is... MINE and I wear what I want for ME not HER

It has not effected one thing about our relationship, it has however made me feel awesome the way I love to feel.

Do it for you, not for her!
#6 by Magoo on 30 Mar, 2011 12:31
All the above and your brother is right. If this is love your hair won't matter. If it matters it wasn't love, better to find out sooner than later.
#7 by baldjoeg on 05 May, 2011 12:04
I agree and your brother is right.

You may want to talk to her about it. I would go for it. Give it the 30 day trial. If you don't like it what you have left will grow back.
#8 by Timmer on 06 May, 2011 16:19
I once dated a girl who lost her mind when I went from just within military regs short to a flattop. She felt I should have asked her permission. Told me everything I needed to know about her and what she thought our relationship should be.

Have the talk. For you, not for her.
#9 by auto216834 on 16 May, 2011 18:01
Quote from: turboman on 02 Nov, 2010 14:15
I have been with my gf for the past year or so and we are serious to the point that I am ready to propose to her and get engaged. It just happens that I am losing my hair at a much faster pace over the past 4 months and realize that by next year I will have to start buzzing it real close or go sly. I want to know if I should bring the fact up that I am losing my hair and will start buzzing it or even go sly with the gf before getting engaged. For some reason I feel like I need to discuss this with her. My brother thinks it is a non-issue and am stupid for even thinking about discussing this with her. I wanted to get some opinions from other's about what to do.

I just want some honest opinions, thanks.

I would almost guarantee that your gf already knows about your hair. My current gf (of almost 5 years) spotted my hair receding before I did. Women are much more perceptive about looks than men for obvious reasons.

If she hasn't already brought it up and made it an issue, why make it an issue yourself.

p.s. In my opinion, you should go very short or bald and just be confident about your new look! Your confidence is 90% of how people perceive you... and unfortunately losing your hair is a major confidence drainer...
#10 by chgobuzzbald on 16 May, 2011 23:55
Do not ask for permission. Get the buzzcut right now, very close. Explain thats how you like it, show her some pictures from past buzzes you had. If she tries to manipulate you into the hair cut of her choice or worse some type of hair replacement scheme you know she was not the one for you. Nothing lost in learning that now.
#11 by Blitzed on 17 May, 2011 05:54
What you want is a large measure of quid pro quo. Tell her you'll be delighted to let her dictate how your hair is cut IF she'll let you decide what should be done about her hair. Point out that there should be a least one shaved-not bald-head in the family.