I've been there.  I've found that in the long run, it's better to stand your ground.  There may be some initial awkwardness, but eventually your parents will get used to it and it won't be an issue anymore.  They aren't going to disown you over something as trivial as a haircut.  It's really best not to let them -- or anyone else -- have this type of control over you.  What are you going to do, grow back some hair every time you see them, and experience the feelings of resentment each time, or take the bull by the horns, face the problem head on and put it behind you?

I hear what you guys are saying - I really do. But for me I seems like getting into confrontation for something as relatively trivial as a haircut. I do bow easily to emotional blackmail and do anything for the easier life

The one time I tried to take this in hand a few years back, I turned up with bald head. My Mum said little but went quiet and my Stepdad took me for a walk and said although he didn't care about my head, my Mum had been crying and that she had also said that she wouldn't want to see me again if I looked like that. I know that he wouldn't say that sort of thing for the sake of it, so believe that it had been true.

So for a quiet non-confrontational life, I do plan my visits and grow it out every time.

Not for anyone else though, just them.

Tony

Reading all the posts here, its obvious what I need to do - or at least try to do. I must talk to her about this whole issue.

However, I don't think e-mail or phone is the way forward. I will grow it out a bit for this Christmas  (hopefully for the last time) but find time while I am staying with them to talk it through with her quietly face-to-face. You guys are really inspirational so thanks ever so much.

Tony