Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: privateryan.ryan on May 01, 2009, 06:42:44 AM
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Hi all,
I found this the best possible way to share my feelings..
I am 24 and have been balding since 19..my hairline started to recede then but I never bothered until the last couple of years as it has become quite noticable. My hair has also started to thin from the top..
All males from my dad's and mom's side are bald.
But I am just not able to come to terms with this at such a young age and am trying various ways to retain hair for as long as I can..this is also causing me some emotional distress...I am in a Marketing job where personality and face value counts a lot, I get the impression that girls dont believe that I am 24 and I am balding! My previous girl frnd didnt like my balding either. She was superficial but why shouldnt she..why should she settle for me?
I am not sure how to cope with this.I am growing my hair long and combing it forward to cover the recede..but if its windy then I feel like sh*t! I keep looking at the mirror or my reflection whenever I get a chance just to see if the hair is in place..this is just not me..I am not in control here and indulge in self pity.
Any advise on hair transplant. I read about it and realised that it is risky and a good option for older candidates. How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self.
Kindly help.
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Also, I forgot to mention..this whole emotional trauma and on and off mood swings are causing me to loose concentration and my performance levels are also falling..
I am not looking for sympathy but just some pointers as to how to get rid of this feeling and take control of my life.
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I started losing my hair at 17, and im 23 now. I thought about and looked into the transplants, used rogaine, etc. and all of that was just a waste of time and money. Shaving my head was the best thing ive ever done for myself. and my ex was a total unsupportive "see you next tuesday" (pardon my description, but she was) about me going bald and shaving my head.
-I met my beautiful wife because of my shaved head (never met her before, never knew her, she walked up to me at a party, started rubbing my head, took a picture and said "I love bald guys!" and it just went from there O0)
-my self-esteem shot through the roof after i shaved my head. Its like a catalyst for self-improvement. after you shave, you want to start dressing better, you want to start working out... its kind of strange in that way.
-people started taking me more serious and seemed to value my opinions and presence more once i shaved.
ill be honest with you man, transplants are not the way to go. some of the guys here have had them, and most of them wished they didnt get them.
In regards to your question "How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self" i would say shave it. And i think you might be leaning that way anyway. i mean, you came to a forum about shaving your head to get opinions about hair transplants.
O0cmon, you know you want too!!!!!
here is that photo....
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sounds alot like my story, except you are a step ahead, you already have a job.
you have to let it go, just let go. it's only hair. so many more aspects to life.
think about all the successful bald people in the world and you will realize that hair doesn't make a man.
Instead of longer hair, I would go shorter ;)
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Great man....I am happy for you..
Yes, I totally agree that asking about hair transplants is totally inappropriate here..but..huhhh...I am in just too much dilemma..I am not sure to try to save my hair to just remove it. How will my friends react? How will my colleagues react? How will my family react?
Another issue is getting my family to buy in..I come from India..and if I am unable to get a girl friend then my marriage has to be fixed(arranged..you know how is it there)..and a bald guy getting a girl through such an arrangement is an impossibility..my family just doesnt understand to leave me alone.I have tried to convince them that things will fall in place..but I have failed.
Honestly, I am very low in confidence at this point of my life..I even get the feeling that in my profession I might not get promoted due to my looks..its sad!
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Another vote for shaving it! Look at it this way...right now your confidence, your self respect and you have lost control of everything. Once you shave it off instead of all that your head will say, "I'M in charge here" and no one is going to tell me how to wear my hair.
What if everyone was making fun of your intelligence? Would you just let them? I'd dare say NO! So go with being bald and YOU become the winner. And as already said, "Look at all the celebs and stars that are bald! You da man!!! don't let your hair or your height or your weight or anything else tell you otherwise!!
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The big thing here is you need your confidence back. Get your confidence back, the women will come, your friends will see that you are not an easy target, and your colleagues will respect you for the fact that you took control of your life. yeah, you will get some resistance from people. no getting around that. and some of that resistance will be from you. you just have to think about it like this....
this is the hand that life had dealt you. how will you play your hand?
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Thanks for all the encouragement people..
Here is my plan:
I am going to cut my hair really short and wear it for a while and observe the responses of people..If I become comfortable with it. I will wear that style until the day comes that I have to completely shave it off..
Another question: How important are looks for success in life? A guy like Bruce Willis or Sean Connery will never take their baldness as a show stopper.What about an average person like me?
Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?
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Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?
You don't say if you're an Indian living in India or the West. I don't know about India, but in the West generally what gives a negative impression is balding, wispy thin hair, attempted combovers etc., not shaved bald. If you shave it clean it is a demonstration of your commitment to handling issues--not evading them. Time and time again, if you review the site and the before and after photos, shaving makes guys look better every time. Look around.
Good luck, at least you're in the right place to find the right way to deal w/ male pattern baldness, an irreversable condition--but and this is important to keep in front of you, it's not a disease and doesn't relate to your value as a person or effective employee. I have noted that it helps people remember you after you shave it clean, and if they remember you--your performance usually goes up.
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Your plan is a good start.
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Thanks for all the encouragement people..
Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?
First off I feel for you man. I am 20 and my hairline is receding badly and is thinning on top. I used to wear hats every single day. Shaving my head has really helped my confidence. As far as walking into the meeting bald, I think that a bald head in the business world is a good thing because I think that the look naturally make someone look really confident. I would say to just give it a try for 30 days and then if you absolutely hate it, which I don't think you will, your hair will always grow back. O0
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Hi, I can remember being in a very similar position to you when I was 24, although that was the year I shaved it all off. I'm now in my mid 30's and I really haven't looked back. You are quite right about transplants not being a good option. I've seen a few guys in real life who had got transplants and they looked slightly ridiculous. Weird unnaturally straight hairlines, obvious plugs, not to mention the devastation around the back of the head where the donor hair had been taken from. I've never seen transplants that looked good (apart from in the adverts for hair transplant clinics!)
Your question: 'How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self?' shows that you are thinking along the right lines matey! The fact that you are asking the question on this forum shows that you know the answer... Shave your head!
So why shave your head? Here's a few good reasons I can give you:
1. No more worrying about which way the wind is blowing. Imagine 2 guys walking down the street. One of them has a slick shaved head and exudes confidence. The other has his hair grown longer to cover his hairloss, but the wind is whipping his hair up and his head is laid bare for all to see. He exudes shame! The fact is that like it or not, you are gonna be ONE of these guys. Which one will you be? I have personal experience of being both of those guys, and I can tell you right now that shaving my head was the best thing I ever did.
2. You will look better. There is no question about that, if you are combing your hair to cover hairloss, I am guessing that your hair does not look flattering to you. A sly shaved head, teamed with some smart clothes though, seriously it's the making of a guy.
3. You will become more confident than you ever thought possible. Once your head is shaved, any worries about hairloss just vanish. That confidence WILL spill over into your life. And what do girls (even superficial ones) find to be the most attractive trait in a man? Yep confidence...
4. Do people ever make fun of your hair? It hurts, I know cause it used to happen to me. Funny thing is once you shave it all off and become accustomed to your new image, you will cease to be the butt of jokes. The reason for this is that combovers, wigs, transplants, bald spots etc are seen as funny. Shaved heads are seen as confident, decisive and attractive.
4. Basically you have 2 choices here: Either continue slowly losing your hair, keep trying to hide it by combing it over and waste your youth by feeling like poop, OR shave it all off and become that sharp, confident dude that you will become as soon as you make the decision to take control of your situation and shave it!
There is loads of support here on this forum whatever you decide!
Keep us posted on what you do...
Rick
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Another question: How important are looks for success in life? A guy like Bruce Willis or Sean Connery will never take their baldness as a show stopper.What about an average person like me?
Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?
I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22. At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair. Everyone said I should let my natural hair color come out to be more professional. I continued to meet with CEOs after shaving my head. I even had the CEO of my company ask me to grow it out a bit to be more to be "more professional." I never did. Why? Because what these people didn't know was that to be successful I had to have the MOST confidence I could and my choice, not theirs allowed me to have the most confidence; especially at a young age.
There's another thing I learned. CEOs and smart business people don't give a sh*t about your appearance; they want to know that you're going to provide them with what they need and you are going to be professional when doing it. How do I know this? I've seen many deals closed and be successful and the people that closed the deal looked so horrible in their dress and the way they took care of themselves. Yet, it seriously had no bearing on their confidence.
My suggestion is to skip all the steps of buzzing it short and just shave it. It sounds like you need a more dramatic and quick approach to help you out. Plus, you are going to be lying to yourself and your family if you don't just come out and do what you want to do with your hair.
Also, I don't buy the whole story of you getting an Indian girl if you shave your head. One of my Indian buddies shaves his head and just married a beautiful Indian woman. I've attached a picture for proof.
You can do it man!
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I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22. At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair.
Pictures, please!! ^-^
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I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22. At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair.
Pictures, please!! ^-^
Ok. I'll work on finding one that I can scan.
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Ok. I'll work on finding one that I can scan.
Man I'd kill to see those pics!
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(big edit)
How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self.
Kindly help.
Confidence comes from within. I would suggest that you start by taking a good look at your inner self and seeing your own worth.
If you have had success dealing with CEOs, it is not your hair that brought you success, it is your knowledge, demeanor and skill.
A shaved head with a sharp looking business suit is a powerful look. Much more so than combing it forward to cover (the "horseshoe" would be preferable to that).
Your plan to go short is a good one. I had a #1 buzz for years before going sly, and it worked out well. It also allowed me to build up some skin tone so I didn't show pasty white the first time I shaved.
As for the ladies, the charming and delightful Mrs. ZAP has been with me through hair, balding, combovers, horseshoes, buzzcuts and sly. It hasn't made much of a difference to her. A woman of character doesn't pay much attention to the superficial. Character, like confidence, comes from within.
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Another question: How important are looks for success in life? A guy like Bruce Willis or Sean Connery will never take their baldness as a show stopper.What about an average person like me?
Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?
I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22. At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair. Everyone said I should let my natural hair color come out to be more professional. I continued to meet with CEOs after shaving my head. I even had the CEO of my company ask me to grow it out a bit to be more to be "more professional." I never did. Why? Because what these people didn't know was that to be successful I had to have the MOST confidence I could and my choice, not theirs allowed me to have the most confidence; especially at a young age.
There's another thing I learned. CEOs and smart business people don't give a sh*t about your appearance; they want to know that you're going to provide them with what they need and you are going to be professional when doing it. How do I know this? I've seen many deals closed and be successful and the people that closed the deal looked so horrible in their dress and the way they took care of themselves. Yet, it seriously had no bearing on their confidence.
My suggestion is to skip all the steps of buzzing it short and just shave it. It sounds like you need a more dramatic and quick approach to help you out. Plus, you are going to be lying to yourself and your family if you don't just come out and do what you want to do with your hair.
Also, I don't buy the whole story of you getting an Indian girl if you shave your head. One of my Indian buddies shaves his head and just married a beautiful Indian woman. I've attached a picture for proof.
You can do it man!
The Rainman is right, You tell the world who you are, not the other way around.
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I agree with Tyler. Forget the buzzing it short and go ahead shave it.
I remember when I did the short buzz thing I did not like it. In fact, if that's how I would look with a
bald head I would say forget it it's not for me. But after shaving it I actually like what I see.
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I agree with Tyler. Forget the buzzing it short and go ahead shave it.
I remember when I did the short buzz thing I did not like it. In fact, if that's how I would look with a
bald head I would say forget it it's not for me. But after shaving it I actually like what I see.
The thing about buzzing vs. shaving is, when you buzz, no matter how short it is, you're still trying to cling onto your hair. It may be just a little bit of hair, but you'r clinging onto it nonetheless. Getting rid of it completely helps you break through that emotional barrier and gain confidence. Some guys need to go shorter in stages, but if you anticipate that you're going to get a lot of flack from the family about buzzing, then I agree that it's probably best to just shave it completely now and get it all over with.
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Hi guys,
I know that going sly is ultimately going to happen..but the past few days having been overwhelming for me..I was just not prepared suddenly to look clean shaven..so I decided to buzz cut..and honestly I feel like sh*t.
I will wear it for a while and if I am not able to get in terms with it, I will clean it up..
On one hand I still can't believe that I lost so much hair by age 24 on the other I want to quickly get over this and run faster to achieve my missed goals..
How long did it take for you to get to terms with your MPB from the day you figured it out to the day you decided to completely remove it?
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Hi guys,
I know that going sly is ultimately going to happen..but the past few days having been overwhelming for me..I was just not prepared suddenly to look clean shaven..so I decided to buzz cut..and honestly I feel like sh*t.
If you know that Sly is going to happen, why delay the inevitable? We're telling you that you WILL feel better with a shaved head than a buzzed head. Give it a shot! You can grow it back to a buzzed look in a couple of days.
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If you know that Sly is going to happen, why delay the inevitable? We're telling you that you WILL feel better with a shaved head than a buzzed head. Give it a shot! You can grow it back to a buzzed look in a couple of days.
Exactly. The longer you wait, the longer you prolong the misery. Get it over with! O:O
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Hi guys,
I know that going sly is ultimately going to happen..but the past few days having been overwhelming for me..
You have a decision to make. Two choices:
1. You can do what you're doing and let it happen (you aren't in control; passive)
or
2. You can make it happen (decisive; confident; in control)
So, what'll it be?
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Hi guys,
I know that going sly is ultimately going to happen..but the past few days having been overwhelming for me..I was just not prepared suddenly to look clean shaven..so I decided to buzz cut..and honestly I feel like sh*t.
I will wear it for a while and if I am not able to get in terms with it, I will clean it up..
On one hand I still can't believe that I lost so much hair by age 24 on the other I want to quickly get over this and run faster to achieve my missed goals..
How long did it take for you to get to terms with your MPB from the day you figured it out to the day you decided to completely remove it?
You are on the edge of taking control of an inevitable situation, you're going bald. You're not suffering from a disease, you're not becoming less of a person. MPB will happen to 50% of guys by the age of fifty. Right now you're still a young adult and there aren't that many peers that are experiencing this process--there's no way to make that any easier. But you've faced the fact, now you have to consider the final step, shaving. That will put you in front, in charge. Your hair follicles will continue to shut down but it won't be apparent to the world because it will be largely invisible. If you don't, your appearance will be a a balding person--and I personally believe that's a weak look. If you do, shaved clean, it looks strong, it looks professional, it shows that you've dealt with the issue and moved on. You're going to have to accept the fact that it will take time to get used to the new guy in the mirror--but that comes, meanwhile you get on with your life. The balding issue is over, a minor issue that you can put behind you.
Shave it, post up a picture, and move on with life.
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Youre almost there bro! It is a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders when you finally take that final step and take it all off.
Hang in there! O0
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How long did it take for you to get to terms with your MPB from the day you figured it out to the day you decided to completely remove it?
Well I can tell you that personally, I started losing my hair at 17 and combed it over/wore hats/generally had no confidence whatsoever up until I was 24. That equates to 7 years of emotional distress! During that time I tried longer hair, buzz cuts, a variety of hats, just plain staying in and hiding from the world - none of those things made me feel any better.
When I shaved my head at 24, I was quite weirded out when I woke up the next morning and wondered what the hell I had done and how my co workers were going to react. By the end of that day, I had garnered enough compliments to realise I had done the right thing. By the end of the week, I felt like a new man, I liked the way I looked, and more importantly my hair loss was now not an issue. Such a relief after the previous 7 years!
That is honestly how it worked out for me. Hope that helps you reach a decision Matey!
Rick