Emotional Distress

[privateryan.ryan]

Hi all,

I found this the best possible way to share my feelings..
I am 24 and have been balding since 19..my hairline started to recede then but I never bothered until the last couple of years as it has become quite noticable. My hair has also started to thin from the top..

All males from my dad's and mom's side are bald.
But I am just not able to come to terms with this at such a young age and am trying various ways to retain hair for as long as I can..this is also causing me some emotional distress...I am in a Marketing job where personality and face value counts a lot, I get the impression that girls dont believe that I am 24 and I am balding! My previous girl frnd didnt like my balding either. She was superficial but why shouldnt she..why should she settle for me?

I am not sure how to cope with this.I am growing my hair long and combing it forward to cover the recede..but if its windy then I feel like sh*t! I keep looking at the mirror or my reflection whenever I get a chance just to see if the hair is in place..this is just not me..I am not in control here and indulge in self pity.

Any advise on hair transplant. I read about it and realised that it is risky and a good option for older candidates. How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self.

Kindly help.

[privateryan.ryan]

Also,  I forgot to mention..this whole emotional trauma and on and off mood swings are causing me to loose concentration and my performance levels are also falling..

I am not looking for sympathy but just some pointers as to how to get rid of this feeling and take control of my life.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

I started losing my hair at 17, and im 23 now. I thought about and looked into the transplants, used rogaine, etc. and all of that was just a waste of time and money. Shaving my head was the best thing ive ever done for myself. and my ex was a total unsupportive "see you next tuesday" (pardon my description, but she was) about me going bald and shaving my head.

-I met my beautiful wife because of my shaved head (never met her before, never knew her, she walked up to me at a party, started rubbing my head, took a picture and said "I love bald guys!" and it just went from there  )

-my self-esteem shot through the roof after i shaved my head. Its like a catalyst for self-improvement. after you shave, you want to start dressing better, you want to start working out... its kind of strange in that way.

-people started taking me more serious and seemed to value my opinions and presence more once i shaved.


ill be honest with you man, transplants are not the way to go. some of the guys here have had them, and most of them wished they didnt get them.

In regards to your question "How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self" i would say shave it. And i think you might be leaning that way anyway. i mean, you came to a forum about shaving your head to get opinions about hair transplants.

 O0cmon, you know you want too!!!!!


here is that photo....

[DuffRyder17]

sounds alot like my story, except you are a step ahead, you already have a job.
you have to let it go, just let go. it's only hair. so many more aspects to life.
think about all the successful bald people in the world and you will realize that hair doesn't make a man.
Instead of longer hair, I would go  shorter

[privateryan.ryan]

Great man....I am happy for you..

Yes, I totally agree that asking about hair transplants is totally inappropriate here..but..huhhh...I am in just too much dilemma..I am not sure to try to save my hair to just remove it. How will my friends react? How will my colleagues react? How will my family react?

Another issue is getting my family to buy in..I come from India..and if I am unable to get a girl friend then my marriage has to be fixed(arranged..you know how is it there)..and a bald guy getting a girl through such an arrangement is an impossibility..my family just doesnt understand to leave me alone.I have tried to convince them that things will fall in place..but I have failed.

Honestly, I am very low in confidence at this point of my life..I even get the feeling that in my profession I might not get promoted due to my looks..its sad!

[GaryT]

Another vote for shaving it! Look at it this way...right now your confidence, your self respect and you have lost control of everything. Once you shave it off instead of all that your head will say, "I'M in charge here" and no one is going to tell me how to wear my hair.

What if everyone was making fun of your intelligence? Would you just let them?  I'd dare say NO! So go with being bald and YOU become the winner. And as already said, "Look at all  the celebs and stars that are bald! You da man!!! don't let your hair or your height or your weight or anything else tell  you otherwise!!

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

The big thing here is you need your confidence back. Get your confidence back, the women will come, your friends will see that you are not an easy target, and your colleagues will respect you for the fact that you took control of your life. yeah, you will get some resistance from people. no getting around that. and some of that resistance will be from you. you just have to think about it like this....

this is the hand that life had dealt you. how will you play your hand?

[privateryan.ryan]

Thanks for all the encouragement people..

Here is my plan:

I am going to cut my hair really short and wear it for a while and observe the responses of people..If I become comfortable with it. I will wear that style until the day comes that I have to completely shave it off..

Another question: How important are looks for success in life? A guy like Bruce Willis or Sean Connery will never take their baldness as a show stopper.What about an average person like me?

Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?

You don't say if you're an Indian living in India or the West.  I don't know about India, but in the West generally what gives a negative impression is balding, wispy thin hair, attempted combovers etc., not shaved bald.  If you shave it clean it is a demonstration of your commitment to handling issues--not evading them.  Time and time again, if you review the site and the before and after photos, shaving makes guys look better every time.  Look around. 

Good luck, at least you're in the right place to find the right way to deal w/ male pattern baldness, an irreversable condition--but and this is important to keep in front of you, it's not a disease and doesn't relate to your value as a person or effective employee.  I have noted that it helps people remember you after you shave it clean, and if they remember you--your performance usually goes up. 

[DCdome]

Your plan is a good start.

[20, bald, and loving it]

Thanks for all the encouragement people..



Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?

First off I feel for you man. I am 20 and my hairline is receding badly and is thinning on top. I used to wear hats every single day. Shaving my head has really helped my confidence. As far as walking into the meeting bald, I think that a bald head in the business world is a good thing because I think that the look naturally make someone look really confident. I would say to just give it a try for 30 days and then if you absolutely hate it, which I don't think you will, your hair will always grow back. 

[Ricktus]

Hi, I can remember being in a very similar position to you when I was 24, although that was the year I shaved it all off. I'm now in my mid 30's  and I really haven't looked back. You are quite right about transplants not being a good option. I've seen a few guys in real life who had got transplants and they looked slightly ridiculous. Weird unnaturally straight hairlines, obvious plugs, not to mention the devastation around the back of the head where the donor hair had been taken from. I've never seen transplants that looked good (apart from in the adverts for hair transplant clinics!)

Your question: 'How do I come to terms with my balding and feel confident about my self?' shows that you are thinking along the right lines matey! The fact that you are asking the question on this forum shows that you know the answer... Shave your head!

So why shave your head? Here's a few good reasons I can give you:

1. No more worrying about which way the wind is blowing. Imagine 2 guys walking down the street. One of them has a slick shaved head and exudes confidence. The other has his hair grown longer to cover his hairloss, but the wind is whipping his hair up and his head is laid bare for all to see. He exudes shame! The fact is that like it or not, you are gonna be ONE of these guys. Which one will you be? I have personal experience of being both of those guys, and I can tell you right now that shaving my head was the best thing I ever did.

2. You will look better. There is no question about that, if you are combing your hair to cover hairloss, I am guessing that your hair does not look flattering to you. A sly shaved head, teamed with some smart clothes though, seriously it's the making of a guy.

3. You will become more confident than you ever thought possible. Once your head is shaved, any worries about hairloss just vanish. That confidence WILL spill over into your life. And what do girls (even superficial ones) find to be the most attractive trait in a man? Yep confidence...

4. Do people ever make fun of your hair? It hurts, I know cause it used to happen to me. Funny thing is once you shave it all off and become accustomed to your new image, you will cease to be the butt of jokes. The reason for this is that combovers, wigs, transplants, bald spots etc are seen as funny. Shaved heads are seen as confident, decisive and attractive.

4. Basically you have 2 choices here: Either continue slowly losing your hair, keep trying to hide it by combing it over and waste your youth by feeling like poop, OR shave it all off and become that sharp, confident dude that you will become as soon as you make the decision to take control of your situation and shave it!

There is loads of support here on this forum whatever you decide!
Keep us posted on what you do...

Rick

[Tyler]

Another question: How important are looks for success in life? A guy like Bruce Willis or Sean Connery will never take their baldness as a show stopper.What about an average person like me?

Tomorrow, I walk into the meeting room to present to the CEO of my client and he is expecting a good looking and smart Marketing Manager to show up and he finds this bald guy. Do you think this makes any sense?

I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22.  At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair.  Everyone said I should let my natural hair color come out to be more professional.  I continued to meet with CEOs after shaving my head.  I even had the CEO of my company ask me to grow it out a bit to be more to be "more professional."  I never did.  Why?  Because what these people didn't know was that to be successful I had to have the MOST confidence I could and my choice, not theirs allowed me to have the most confidence; especially at a young age.

There's another thing I learned.  CEOs and smart business people don't give a sh*t about your appearance; they want to know that you're going to provide them with what they need and you are going to be professional when doing it.  How do I know this?  I've seen many deals closed and be successful and the people that closed the deal looked so horrible in their dress and the way they took care of themselves.  Yet, it seriously had no bearing on their confidence. 

My suggestion is to skip all the steps of buzzing it short and just shave it.  It sounds like you need a more dramatic and quick approach to help you out.  Plus, you are going to be lying to yourself and your family if you don't just come out and do what you want to do with your hair.

Also, I don't buy the whole story of you getting an Indian girl if you shave your head.  One of my Indian buddies shaves his head and just married a beautiful Indian woman.  I've attached a picture for proof.

You can do it man! 

[Razor X]

I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22.  At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair. 

Pictures, please!!   

[Tyler]

I've been meeting with CEOs since I was 22.  At that time I had spiky, died blonde hair. 

Pictures, please!!   

Ok.  I'll work on finding one that I can scan.