Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => Reactions to being Bald => Topic started by: FrankyG on February 20, 2009, 09:51:44 PM
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Okay, so I have officially had my head shaved for about 5 days now, and an interesting thing, my friends all love the new dew...well not sure about a few since I haven't seen them yet, but beside the point for now. But my family seems to have gone negative. I don't get it. My brother made the idiotic comment of saying my head reminds me him of a not so nice group that was big around the 1940's. Very irritating. I would think he was joking, but it is not him to joke really. I mean it wasn't like before this I had long hair. I alway got a very close high and tight, so not much of a different. Well family better get used to it, cause the sly look is staying :)
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I've never had anyone say anything negative about my shaved head. other than "why?"
As far as the negative comment regarding the 1940's group, I don't get that at all. Several guys on here have mentioned that they have gotten comments like that. Why go so negative. The Hare Krishnas shave their heads too and they are peaceful people. Why do people instantly go negative? That's infuriating.
Stay positive!!!!!
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Just want to make a note that there was an add here for hair replacement on a proud to be bald site... :*)) just thought that was pretty funny to share
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It's pretty typical for families to be resistant at first. Just don't let it get to you and change the subject if it comes up. Eventually they'll get used to it.
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Just stand your ground. Your self-confidence is the best defense and before long, it'll just be part of who you are in their eyes.
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Just stand your ground. Your self-confidence is the best defense and before long, it'll just be part of who you are in their eyes.
Ditto.
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Ditto for me too!
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My "theory" about those family members who are critical is that by shaving your head, particularly in response to mpb, they have to come to a very uncomfortable fact, parents have to accept that you're not a little boy any more, but a man with a man's cosmetic problem, and your brother may be having an inappropriate response because he knows that your baldness may very likely be his in the relative short term or may already be apparent to him if not everyone else. Like the brothers say, stick to your guns, it may take time but they will learn to accept your slyness--because the chances are very, very small that you'll ever have a full head of hair again and, in the case of your brother, his future will be balding & comb overs, unless he follows your admirable lead.
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
To me, a 'skin-head' (usually meaning they sport a little stubble) is way more negative than a full shining bald dome 8)
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
You're right, they didn't. They used to clipper-shave the back and sides, but leave the top really long (look at a picture of Heinrich Himmler). The reason for this is because the German helmets of the time did not have any insulation on top, so the long hair was used as a sort of padding, or so I'm told. But this is all ancient history and does not concern us here. :)
Fast forward to the 1980's, and in the United States the neo-nazi groups (e.g. David Duke and others) started to gain some popularity, partly as a backlash to some injustices (real or perceived) in the minority rights movement. These groups often distinguished themselves by shaving their heads, wearing heavy black boots, and, of course, wearing the hakenkreuze symbol (often mistakenly called a swastika, which is really a benevolent religious symbol). This is where the association of shaved heads and right - wing fascists came to be. Today these groups have mostly disappeared into the background noise, partly because the legal injustices were addressed, and also because of an aggressive campaign to root them out. So today, in the US at least, a shaved head no longer carries any political baggage (except for those who are stuck in the past :/O). But I understand in Europe there is still a connection?
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Thanks for the support guys, it has been helpful. Plus the Girlfriend loves the new haircut so :) Enjoying the history lesson out of this too, learning something new everyday.
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Some amateur psychology...your family knows what you're "supposed" to look like more than anybody else. Huge portions of our brains are dedicated to recognizing faces (including hair), especially of people who are important to us.
Second, the primitive part of our brain acts first, and the logical part of our brain then tries to explain it. The change to how you look startles people who know you well at a primitive level. Then they have to try to explain that to themselves logically, and sometimes stupid comparisons pop into their heads, and then out of their mouths.
So it's not a good idea to argue with them before they have time to get used to your new look. Otherwise, you'd be backing them into a corner where they have to defend their hastily formed first reaction.
For instance, I'm sure if a couple of us changed our avatars to old photos of us with hair, there'd be an outcry from the other members of the forum!
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strangely enough my mom was extremley supportive of my shaved head. ive been shaving for 7 months and she still compliments it when i see her (which is only 10 or so times a year). she says it really brins out my eyes and "nice eyebrows" haha. thats a mom thing to say. she was actually the one who was on my side throughout the whole hair loss dilema and has pretty much been my rock throughout the tough time. she was the one who initially mentioned that maybe i should just shave my head if it would make me happy. gotta love moms lol.
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Franky, you look great bald brother, tell your sibblings it's not the 1940's.
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
But I understand in Europe there is still a connection?
Yes, it's an issue here in Europe, especially in the Eastern parts of Germany.
But why give the Neonazis the power to decide whether I shave my head or not?
J
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For instance, I'm sure if a couple of us changed our avatars to old photos of us with hair, there'd be an outcry from the other members of the forum!
Hmmm.... I'll have to give that a try. :)
EDIT: Did. :D
Franky, you look great bald brother, tell your sibblings it's not the 1940's.
I agree. I wished I looked half as good. BTW you might want to mention to your family that the Dali Lama has a shaved head and probably wears a swastika* as well. Yet I doubt many think of him as a neo-nazi. ;D ;D
* a sacred symbol in Buddhism. Google "omote manji" and read a few of the hits.
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The only person who has ever given me any grief is my wife. She tells me some of her friends think I look MUCH better with hair, but none of those friends have ever told ME that. I can't for the life of me understand why showing your obvious MPB is better than going sly. I see this look as my trademark now. My buddies say they can't imagine me with hair. My wife was on me about it again last night. I just make a joke and change the subject. Wish this issue didn't matter so much to me, and that I could change for her, but I CAN'T STAND the hair.
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The only person who has ever given me any grief is my wife. She tells me some of her friends think I look MUCH better with hair, but none of those friends have ever told ME that. I can't for the life of me understand why showing your obvious MPB is better than going sly. I see this look as my trademark now. My buddies say they can't imagine me with hair. My wife was on me about it again last night. I just make a joke and change the subject. Wish this issue didn't matter so much to me, and that I could change for her, but I CAN'T STAND the hair.
DUDE! Your situation with your wife is the same as mine!
And I completely agree with you....why is showing MPB better than going sly? Especially if you are blessed with a good head shape!
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The only person who has ever given me any grief is my wife. She tells me some of her friends think I look MUCH better with hair, but none of those friends have ever told ME that. I can't for the life of me understand why showing your obvious MPB is better than going sly. I see this look as my trademark now. My buddies say they can't imagine me with hair. My wife was on me about it again last night. I just make a joke and change the subject. Wish this issue didn't matter so much to me, and that I could change for her, but I CAN'T STAND the hair.
I'm another SLY guy w/ a wife who won't or can't accept the fact that mpb is not temporary or reversible, her friends say it looks good to great, my friends like it, except one whose wife doesn't want it either--I think he wants me to do the buzz so he can get that by her ;D. She Who Must Be Obeyed doesn't say much anymore, just when she's had one too many martinis at that's usually at dinner w/ friends. Then she gets no support from most of them. She's really into insults and putting me down when she's onto the Sly business but she's had to have had one too many to do that now. Funny thing though, she doesn't mind the chin mitten at all and admits that publicly. WOMEN, can't live with them, can't live without them. I've got nearly 35 years committed to this one, and after Katrina I can't afford a trophy wife! ;D ;D ;D
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The only person who has ever given me any grief is my wife. She tells me some of her friends think I look MUCH better with hair, but none of those friends have ever told ME that. I can't for the life of me understand why showing your obvious MPB is better than going sly. I see this look as my trademark now. My buddies say they can't imagine me with hair. My wife was on me about it again last night. I just make a joke and change the subject. Wish this issue didn't matter so much to me, and that I could change for her, but I CAN'T STAND the hair.
Count me in on this one too guys. My wife prefers that I have some hair on my head.
So I compromise every few weeks and let it grow for a week or so, then I shave again.
I don't mind the close buzz as you all know, but after so many days I miss my sleek, smooth noggin'. I'm shaved smooth more than I'm buzzed, since that's what I prefer, but you gotta try and keep both parties happy.
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Yeah so just about 2 weeks have come and gone, and still sly. Gotten some great compliments. Even told I look older now with the hair gone. So yeah this is a definite keeper looks, cause people won't confuse me for 18 anymore lol.
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What i see here is loads of polite guys who respect their wife's/girlfriend's point of view and feel awkward about not pleasing them, which is great (I guess! ???)
BUT...
What I'm interested in finding out is if any of your WIVES or GIRLFRIENDS have any traits, fashions, or habits that YOU don't like...and do you constantly moan/hint they do away with them??? >:D
I BET the answer is no!! ;D
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What i see here is loads of polite guys who respect their wife's/girlfriend's point of view and feel awkward about not pleasing them, which is great (I guess! ???)
BUT...
What I'm interested in finding out is if any of your WIVES or GIRLFRIENDS have any traits, fashions, or habits that YOU don't like...and do you constantly moan/hint they do away with them??? >:D
I BET the answer is no!! ;D
Darn skippy no, lol. I am sure everyone here would like to avoid the couch ;D
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What i see here is loads of polite guys who respect their wife's/girlfriend's point of view and feel awkward about not pleasing them, which is great (I guess! ???)
BUT...
What I'm interested in finding out is if any of your WIVES or GIRLFRIENDS have any traits, fashions, or habits that YOU don't like...and do you constantly moan/hint they do away with them??? >:D
I BET the answer is no!! ;D
Of course not, when I was growing up my parents pounded into me that whatever another person looks like was no of my business and to MOB, mind own business. I couldn't change my attitude without serious inner turmoil and it's just not worth it. My wife has a problem her mother had, she's losing her hair and we pay a fortune for her trips to Joyce for restoration, and all I ever say is, "Your hair looks nice." I could confront her, but I don't want to do this that way. I really don't know how and I could over do it.
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I have pointed out to my wife that she has strong feelings about certain things...things that I let go of. And that's what bugs me about this. I feel that I give her plenty of freedom and don't make a big issue of things that are important to her, things I may not do the same way. But I don't think I get the same consideration in return, particularly in the area of slyness. I think she sometimes feels that me being sly is a personal attack on her. It has nothing to do with that at all. I happen to like the look, the feel, the ease of maintenance, the sly attitude, even if I don't have the "perfect" head. Mother nature started me down the road and I finished the journey. Not much I can do about the MPB.
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I have pointed out to my wife that she has strong feelings about certain things...things that I let go of. And that's what bugs me about this. I feel that I give her plenty of freedom and don't make a big issue of things that are important to her, things I may not do the same way. But I don't think I get the same consideration in return, particularly in the area of slyness. I think she sometimes feels that me being sly is a personal attack on her. It has nothing to do with that at all. I happen to like the look, the feel, the ease of maintenance, the sly attitude, even if I don't have the "perfect" head. Mother nature started me down the road and I finished the journey. Not much I can do about the MPB.
With HUGE respect to your wife...ever think that when you're MPB dude, she might have a bit more edge over you (this goes for all people that don't "get a 100% slick shaved head vs a MPB cut)...
it's a weird sub-conscience control thing...you have TOO much confidence now...you're like the young, confident date -able guy again...and maybe more women look your way now...
know what I mean?
I think it goes for friends and family that don't "understand why you want to be completely bald" on this one.
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I never really thought of that BA, but now that you mentioned it....
I'm more confident this way, no doubt about that.
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I never really thought of that BA, but now that you mentioned it....
I'm more confident this way, no doubt about that.
I really think that's a big deal for people!
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The only person who has ever given me any grief is my wife. She tells me some of her friends think I look MUCH better with hair, but none of those friends have ever told ME that. I can't for the life of me understand why showing your obvious MPB is better than going sly. I see this look as my trademark now. My buddies say they can't imagine me with hair. My wife was on me about it again last night. I just make a joke and change the subject. Wish this issue didn't matter so much to me, and that I could change for her, but I CAN'T STAND the hair.
DUDE! Your situation with your wife is the same as mine!
And I completely agree with you....why is showing MPB better than going sly? Especially if you are blessed with a good head shape!
Younger guys, take note. This is one of the main advantages to being totally sly before you meet your future wife. She can't complain about it if that's how you've looked from Day One. ;)
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When I first went sly, my wife hated it with a passion. :Xo!
Man, I can remember - like it was yesterday - the heated discussions we'd have over me going sly. b0x3r
She has since then come around quite a bit, but she still rather I have hair.
!p Besides the fact that I now enjoy the look and feel of being slick, still another reason I maintain my slyness is knowing that she hates it sooooooooo much. (LOL) g@@4
My kids (son:14 and daughter:7) think they have areal coooooool dad, though! O:O
-Cap'n Noodles-