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Friends more supportive than family by FrankyG on 20 Feb, 2009 21:51
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Okay, so I have officially had my head shaved for about 5 days now, and an interesting thing, my friends all love the new dew...well not sure about a few since I haven't seen them yet, but beside the point for now. But my family seems to have gone negative. I don't get it. My brother made the idiotic comment of saying my head reminds me him of a not so nice group that was big around the 1940's. Very irritating. I would think he was joking, but it is not him to joke really. I mean it wasn't like before this I had long hair. I alway got a very close high and tight, so not much of a different. Well family better get used to it, cause the sly look is staying
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#1 by GASlick on 20 Feb, 2009 22:11
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I've never had anyone say anything negative about my shaved head. other than "why?"
As far as the negative comment regarding the 1940's group, I don't get that at all. Several guys on here have mentioned that they have gotten comments like that. Why go so negative. The Hare Krishnas shave their heads too and they are peaceful people. Why do people instantly go negative? That's infuriating.
Stay positive!!!!! -
#2 by FrankyG on 20 Feb, 2009 22:14
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Just want to make a note that there was an add here for hair replacement on a proud to be bald site...
just thought that was pretty funny to share
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#3 by Razor X on 20 Feb, 2009 23:16
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It's pretty typical for families to be resistant at first. Just don't let it get to you and change the subject if it comes up. Eventually they'll get used to it.
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#4 by R o b 6 on 20 Feb, 2009 23:20
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Just stand your ground. Your self-confidence is the best defense and before long, it'll just be part of who you are in their eyes.
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#5 by DCdome on 21 Feb, 2009 09:10
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Just stand your ground. Your self-confidence is the best defense and before long, it'll just be part of who you are in their eyes.
Ditto. -
#6 by Papa Don on 22 Feb, 2009 08:22
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Ditto for me too!
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#7 by D.A.L.U.I. on 22 Feb, 2009 09:15
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My "theory" about those family members who are critical is that by shaving your head, particularly in response to mpb, they have to come to a very uncomfortable fact, parents have to accept that you're not a little boy any more, but a man with a man's cosmetic problem, and your brother may be having an inappropriate response because he knows that your baldness may very likely be his in the relative short term or may already be apparent to him if not everyone else. Like the brothers say, stick to your guns, it may take time but they will learn to accept your slyness--because the chances are very, very small that you'll ever have a full head of hair again and, in the case of your brother, his future will be balding & comb overs, unless he follows your admirable lead.
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#8 by Rob on 22 Feb, 2009 09:39
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
To me, a 'skin-head' (usually meaning they sport a little stubble) is way more negative than a full shining bald dome
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#9 by calbito on 22 Feb, 2009 16:43
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
You're right, they didn't. They used to clipper-shave the back and sides, but leave the top really long (look at a picture of Heinrich Himmler). The reason for this is because the German helmets of the time did not have any insulation on top, so the long hair was used as a sort of padding, or so I'm told. But this is all ancient history and does not concern us here.
Fast forward to the 1980's, and in the United States the neo-nazi groups (e.g. David Duke and others) started to gain some popularity, partly as a backlash to some injustices (real or perceived) in the minority rights movement. These groups often distinguished themselves by shaving their heads, wearing heavy black boots, and, of course, wearing the hakenkreuze symbol (often mistakenly called a swastika, which is really a benevolent religious symbol). This is where the association of shaved heads and right - wing fascists came to be. Today these groups have mostly disappeared into the background noise, partly because the legal injustices were addressed, and also because of an aggressive campaign to root them out. So today, in the US at least, a shaved head no longer carries any political baggage (except for those who are stuck in the past
). But I understand in Europe there is still a connection?
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#10 by FrankyG on 22 Feb, 2009 19:15
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Thanks for the support guys, it has been helpful. Plus the Girlfriend loves the new haircut so Enjoying the history lesson out of this too, learning something new everyday.
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#11 by (|8-) on 22 Feb, 2009 21:13
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Some amateur psychology...your family knows what you're "supposed" to look like more than anybody else. Huge portions of our brains are dedicated to recognizing faces (including hair), especially of people who are important to us.
Second, the primitive part of our brain acts first, and the logical part of our brain then tries to explain it. The change to how you look startles people who know you well at a primitive level. Then they have to try to explain that to themselves logically, and sometimes stupid comparisons pop into their heads, and then out of their mouths.
So it's not a good idea to argue with them before they have time to get used to your new look. Otherwise, you'd be backing them into a corner where they have to defend their hastily formed first reaction.
For instance, I'm sure if a couple of us changed our avatars to old photos of us with hair, there'd be an outcry from the other members of the forum! -
#12 by Ghost1988 on 22 Feb, 2009 23:15
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strangely enough my mom was extremley supportive of my shaved head. ive been shaving for 7 months and she still compliments it when i see her (which is only 10 or so times a year). she says it really brins out my eyes and "nice eyebrows" haha. thats a mom thing to say. she was actually the one who was on my side throughout the whole hair loss dilema and has pretty much been my rock throughout the tough time. she was the one who initially mentioned that maybe i should just shave my head if it would make me happy. gotta love moms lol.
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#13 by Tom McGarry. on 23 Feb, 2009 06:46
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Franky, you look great bald brother, tell your sibblings it's not the 1940's.
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#14 by joergHH on 25 Feb, 2009 08:24
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I've never understood the idea that people think shaved heads are somehow negative. I don't recall seein anyone in that '1940's group of people' who had a shaved head anyway.
But I understand in Europe there is still a connection?
Yes, it's an issue here in Europe, especially in the Eastern parts of Germany.
But why give the Neonazis the power to decide whether I shave my head or not?
J