Sly Bald Guys Forum
Various Non-Bald Discussions => General Discussion => Topic started by: Timmay on January 22, 2008, 08:57:03 AM
-
Hey guys. First of all I want to thank everyone who has responded to my situation at home with my son Logan. The wife and I are struggling with how we are trying to keep control of Logan with his fears and sometimes he just is down right mean. LOL I guess most of it is just the boy in him but he doesnt take failure and stuff like that very well. He gets very tempermental. He cant even sit there and play video games without getting mad at the game because it wasnt doing what he wanted it to do.
Well today we are takin him to talk to a doctor. We talked to him about it last night and he was upset about going, he doesnt want to go. His reasoning is that he is afraid the doctor is going to say that there is something mentally wrong with him. Which sorta bothers me, because if he is worrying about that..then it is obvious that he is aware that something isnt right. We all want our kids to be the perfect kid but that is rarely the case. None of us are perfect and we explained that to him. Just because there might be a problem doesnt mean we do not love him any less. He "TOLD" us last night if he got to stay up and watch his monday night RAW taht the would go..but if not he wasnt going. The wife and I just sorta looked at each other and allowed him to watch only 1 hour of it...not the full 2 hours. That is another thing we are sorta wondering about. The wrestling he watches on tv. Do you all think that could have some sort of effect on him? I want him to be able to do things he enjoys but does he really understand that most of that wrestling is fake? He believes the UnderTaker really died at one point and came back to life. I dont know how manytimes we have had to sit him down and explain to him that you can not do that. Once you have died and have been buried..you dont come back to life. He still believes somewhat that its real. He says well no matter what a part of me is going to believe that. We are almost to the point were we are about to just take the wrestling stuff away from him. But we have invested alot of money on action figures and play wrestling rings and movies and playstation games...way before we realized this might be a problem for him. I guess we should just focus on his well being more so than the material things.
But I just wanted to say taht we are going in today at 3:30 to talk to a doctor...so any prayers or what ever would be greatly appreciated. I appreciated all you guys in here....just glad my family circle has now expanded...tremendously...
Later
Timmay
-
Your son sounds similar to mine....headstrong, stubborn, and can be rattled when things don't go his way (hope I didn't put words in your mouth). Anyway, I have similar issues with my boy. He doesn't watch wrestling (never interested, none of Team Schro is), but we have had to reel him in a bit in some of the choices he has made regarding activities, TV, computer, language and inappropriate behavior. When we question him, he sometimes says "he's a bad person". We just remind him he's not a bad person, just a good person that sometimes makes bad choices. As he's gotten older, it's getting better, but it still pops up now & then.
Hang in there!
-
timmy....all i wanted 2 say is that i will B praying 4 your son, family, & u during this challenging time. u have my back. pm or call me anytime if u need 2 talk. i'm sure everything will turn out fine. O0
WARHAWK O0
-
Schro you did put words in my mouth...but only the words I couldnt find to help describe what we were going thru. Thanks for all your thoughts ....we will make it thru this, im sure. God never gives us anything we cant handle.....and I strongly believe that.
-
TimmJ - How old is Logan?
-
he will be 10 in june
-
My son will be 10 on Sunday. 10 year olds are still concrete thinkers. Everything is black or white. He can tell you the difference between reality and fantasy but when he's faced with it he could get confused. At 10 I still believed in Santa Claus because I was never forced to really examine it. 10 year olds are moving into abstract thought but most just aren't there yet, especially boys.
He is forming habits now that will take him into the teen years. Now is the time to form good habits and procedures for dealing with conflicts. Fight this battle now. You don't want to wait until he's 13 or 14 when his body rushing with testosterone. If you want to ease back on the wrestling give him something else he likes just as much to replace it first. Then steer him away from wrestling.
When I get so frustrated with my son it hits me, he is just like me when I was 10. I have to tell myself, "Calm down. Don't handle this like your dad did."
-
Timm, good luck. I can relate to the situation with your son. I have a 10 year old that has had many issues in the past, including inappropriate language, violence (hitting his classmates) and behavioural problems. We are on a first name basis with the Principal at school because we are in constant contact with the school as my son has problems following the rules. He was diagnosed as ADHD but I am not using that as an excuse. this has been going on since he was about 4 years old. His mother and I split up when he was a baby and we have both moved on and married others and each have other children but thankfully we remain on good terms especially because we are in contact so much due to the stuff at school. we share 50/50 custody he is with us one week and his mother the next. I have noticed that as he has gotten older he has matured somewhat and when he puts his mind to something he can achieve it. He is very intelligent and has lots of potential, we just have to keep working with him. I'm sure things will get better with your son. You are not alone.
Sorry for the long rant.
KC
-
Tim, you and your family are in my prayers.
-
I have a temper like a true Irishman, and when things don't go my way you hear it in a nice colourful adult slur of words. Now when I was a kid I was shy with a real mean streak cross me and it was on. Than when I was 12 I joined Sea Cadets and loved it, and wanted to do better and better in it. So I learned to take orders, learned I cannot be good at evrything the frist time, and something (Monkey's Fist) I still cannot do to this day even though i've been showed 1500 times and have 3 books with instructions in it.
If he's too young for cadets i recommend a martial art, the sensi won't be tolerating any behaviour deemed inappropiate. And it gives him an out put for any anger and rage.
My girlfriend works for children's aid soceity here in New Glasgow at a group home for kids between age 12 and 16 with all kinds of issues. IF you have any questions about ways to deal with something let me know in a PM and I'll run it by her see what she suggets.
-
Well we went to the Dr today and things went really well. We discovered he has a OCD ( obsessive compulsive disorder). The Dr said that she felt as though that sometimes this can be a good thing..because people with that disorder tend to want things to be perfect...but in a broader view of that..it can be damaging to ones lifestyle. I mean it was so bad that his hotdog buns had to be perfect ...you know how sometimes the bottoms of the bun will split and you end up with like two slices of bun...well if that happened the whole hotdog was ruined...even the hotdog itself. You couldn't take the hotdog out and put it in another bun. She didnt want to put him on the wrong type of medication so she was going to consult with another doctor about what to do with Logan. Being that he is very artistic...loves sports and doing extremely well in school, she didnt want to alter Logans personality and the way he thinks about stuff, too drastically. She didnt want to in a sense..set Logan back. At that point she suggested that we as a family go to see some type of therapist and seeing how we could work thru this. We agreed to give it a shot. Logan seemed understanding about it and some of his fears were eased. While sitting at the table at supper time we got a call from the Dr. She is prescribing Zolof...??? not sure how you spell it...but she consulted another dr that was working with a patient with the exact things Logan was dealing with and the same age. This other boy has been on it for a month and has improved in ways it has his parents and the dr.'s amazed. We are going to hope the best for Logan too. He is more relieved that all he has to do for right now is take some medicine. We begin taking the medicine tomorrow and they said in a few days we should start to see some improvement. The fear adn the sudden outburst of anger is a result of things not being inside that little box of his perfect little place. When a video game messes up..it is out of his control and there is nothign he can do to fix it. I know this maybe confusing to some..but i finally understand it all. It just breaks my heart to understand what is going on inside is mind, knowing that he tries to keep a perfect world inside this little box....but I still Love him to death.
-
Tim, from how you describe your son , he sounds like exactly how I was when I was his age too. Opinionated, worrisome and a handful in general. I know it must be hard for you and your wife but I think you are doing the right thing on seeing a councilor about it. I did too and it definetley helped me better deal with my anger and acting out.
I will pray for your family mate. Never doubt your abilities as a father Tim. O0
-
tim.....sounds like everything went well with the doctor's visit. i'm glad that u got a full understanding of what your son is going thru. u & your family will continue 2 b in my daily prayers. O0
WARHAWK O0
-
Like JDog, that sounds a lot like me when I was a kid. My mother describes me as a perfectionist. I also didn't like video games that would "screw up" or when I couldn't do something right the first time. It would really piss me off. Though, I never did have angry outbursts that I can remember, but I would be noticeably frustrated. I think this is why I liked Math so much. There was a definite right and wrong.
-
Oh you ought to see my son with math. WHIZ Kid on that. I was always good at math ...still am...but it just amazing to see you little kid doing that stuff. Being able to figure number problems out.
-
I have a 10 year old that has had many issues in the past, including inappropriate language, violence (hitting his classmates) and behavioural problems. We are on a first name basis with the Principal at school because we are in constant contact with the school as my son has problems following the rules. He was diagnosed as ADHD but I am not using that as an excuse. this has been going on since he was about 4 years old. sorry for the long rant.
This is exactly like my son. We've had problems beginning in kindergarten. We had just too many conferences with the teachers and principals. Went to counseling and the counselor finally told us the she was wasting our time and money. We finally got him diagnosed by a psychologist as ADHD. It still took us almost 2 years before we decided to try the meds. He's been on them for 2 months and we've seen a great improvement in his behavior and the teacher has not had any problems. This was another time I wish I hadn't waited so long to act.
-
Make sure you get second opinions and don't settle for one persons opinion. My son (now 10) has ADD, because he did not have ADHD the teachers at his school told us that he needed a another year of kindergardin to mature. We did that and that year was great, but half way throught 1st grade we had the same problems again. I feel bad that I may wasted a year of his life accepting what the schools said. Push them and make sure they follow up and get a couple differant people/prodessionals involved
-
well this is 2 doctors opinions so we have it all covered I believe
-
I have a 10 year old that has had many issues in the past, including inappropriate language, violence (hitting his classmates) and behavioural problems. We are on a first name basis with the Principal at school because we are in constant contact with the school as my son has problems following the rules. He was diagnosed as ADHD but I am not using that as an excuse. this has been going on since he was about 4 years old. sorry for the long rant.
This is exactly like my son. We've had problems beginning in kindergarten. We had just too many conferences with the teachers and principals. Went to counseling and the counselor finally told us the she was wasting our time and money. We finally got him diagnosed by a psychologist as ADHD. It still took us almost 2 years before we decided to try the meds. He's been on them for 2 months and we've seen a great improvement in his behavior and the teacher has not had any problems. This was another time I wish I hadn't waited so long to act.
Our daughter, now 25 and finishing law school this year, was diagnosed ADD in her second year of high school, and trusting the pediatrician and psychologist, we started the meds the day of the diagnosis, and "wiz bang" twenty-four hours later, we had our "old" daughter back. That's one of the affirmations of the diagnosis. The only thing we did was to have some tutoring to insure that during the pre-diagnosis stage that she didn't fail to get a good background in her academic subjects. She has the "perfect" symptom also, but that didn't hurt, she got a 798 in the SAT II writing test out of 800, she's "bugged" about grammar & spelling---she didn't get it from me. My point is that having medical assistance from people you can trust is essential, but I understand w/ the screwed up health insurance requirements that it is increasing difficult to do.
-
I took my son to 3 different psychologists and all came back with the same diagnosis, ADHD. His mother and I discussed meds and she was on board to give it a try but later changed her mind and the school problems still persist. I can't go to the Dr. myself as my son's pediatrician knows that his mom and I are not togehter and had told us she will not prescibe meds without both parents consent. I wish we could give it a try to see the results but so far it is a losing battle.
Timm, I hope your son responds well to the meds. Good Luck!!
KC
-
I took my son to 3 different psychologists and all came back with the same diagnosis, ADHD. His mother and I discussed meds and she was on board to give it a try but later changed her mind and the school problems still persist. I can't go to the Dr. myself as my son's pediatrician knows that his mom and I are not togehter and had told us she will not prescibe meds without both parents consent. I wish we could give it a try to see the results but so far it is a losing battle.
Timm, I hope your son responds well to the meds. Good Luck!!
KC
I hope you don't give up. The results of correct medication are relatively instantanious, and so obvious. We know another family who had a son w/ ADHD, and he unfortunately stopped his medication, and won't use it now. He's thirty one and has been unable to maintain any consistent employment and it's basically ruined his prospects for what is generally considered a successful and happy life. He got a college degree, with substantial difficulty, but that was his last achievement of note. He's a nice guy, but without the ability to carry through on any task of even modest complexity. I remember our daughter, after being on the medication, explained to us what it felt like before the diagnosis and treatment. She compared it to those small puzzles where there are four or five ball bearings in a little box, and the object is to put all of them in the appropriate holes. Without medication, she said, it's like trying to do it, but there aren't any holes, so the thoughts and ideas necessary to function, won't stay in place long enough to allow the learning process to proceed. Best of luck.
-
OK y'all ready for this. Last night...thursday night..was the first dosing of the meds. OK first of all...you would have thought we were murdering our child. The medicine has to be deluted in 4oz of water....yes 1/2 cup...small amout of water...would you all agree? Well the medicine made the water look a little cloudy. Before we gave it to him I told the wife ..wait...I want to taste the medicine first before he started it. I took my finger and got a little droplet of it. Tasted it.....taste liek fruit. Awww this gonna be easy. It will make the water taste like koolaid. He walks in....whats that he says. Its your medicine I tell him. Why is it cloudy? I said because it is water and your medicine has to be deluted in water. I aint drinking it! I turn look at him, OH YES YOU ARE BUDDY!. No I aint. I said Look!...we just spent 80 bucks on this stuff YOU WILL DRINK IT. It taste fine...only taste like fruit. Well I need another glass of plain water to drink after i take that...I said fine ..I will get you some more water. Just drink it all in one gulp. He picks it up...crying cause he doesnt want to take it. Barely..I MEAN BARELY gets any on his tongue....OMG my throat is swelling up....it makes my tongue numb.....im gonna get sick! me and the wife just look at each other in disbelief. I told him once again...You will drink this...it doesnt taste bad, it taste like clear Koolaid..fruit punch..No it isnt...its poision. Why you all being so mean to me. you are yelling at me and its not my fault the stupid doc. is making me take this...why do i have to take liquid form. I said ok we will get the tablet form and you have to swallow it.. I cant take pills you know that it will make me choke and gag.! THEN THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE LIQUID! Imma gonna get sick...I have to go pee! I said well go pee and march your ass right back in here and take this medicine. You have to drink it within 15 minutes of mixing it. He comes back in...I cant. I just cant daddy! Wife tells him either you take it or we take you back to the doctor. NO MOMMY NO I DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR SHE WILL GIVE ME A SHOT!. 10 minutes has passed and still all we have gotten in him is like a drop off of a dropper. Still crying and screaming finally the wife walks out..Leaves me standing there with a kid who is terrified of this medicine. Finally I had enough and i just look at him dead straight in the eye and said DRINK IT! DRINK THE DAMN WATER! THATS ALL IT IS WATER WITH FRUIT FLAVORED MEDICINE CAUSE IF YOU DONT DRINK IT I WILL PUT IT IN ONE OF THOSE MEDICINE SYRINGES AND I WILL SHOOT IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! I know that may sound extreme and maybe like I was out of control...it was because I WAS and I WAS ABOUT to lose it. My wife even steps back in and taste the medicine in the glass....she said Logan...there is hardly any taste to it..its basically all water. Finally FINALLY! he takes it..all but 1/4 of it. Crying ...carrying on...saying we were mean to him and blah blah blah...so we sit down for supper. Here we go again. It is our fault that we FORCED him to take the medicine and now all of his food taste bad. We are like Logan you just need to calm down. you are putting thoughts into your head and making the whole situation worse than it is. He said well my tongue is numb. His hotdog taste like bologna...I was like what? You boiled the hotdogs didnt you! I said no i put them in the microwave. Then were are the burnt spots if you put them in the microwave. I said they have no burnt or scroched marks on them because you dont like them on there...cause if there were...you wouldnt eat them because they werent PERFECT!.. LOL....well needless to say ...all he ate was some chips and koolaid. Sorry if this was so long...but has anyone else in here ever had to deal with stuff like this? Im sure I am not the only one...but come on give me a break here....I want to make it a point....before someone misreads stuff into this...I do not and i repeat do not Verably Abuse or physically abuse my kids. It is just at some point in time you have had about all you can handle and then you just start flying off.
Wow I feel better...somewhat. Just pray this medicine works and that tonight we are going to try and mix the water with 7UP.....hope it works.
Thanks Timmay
-
Tim:
For you, just for you, another advantage of Sly--you won't know how grey this is making your "hair!" I think everyone has had a "fussy" eater--it's not fun more like having an ultra Orthodox Rabbi as a house guest and trying to feed him!. I think once he starts feeling the effect of the medication, Zolfot, I think you said, he'll probably be asking for it. I think it does come in tablets-Google the drug name from the bottle and see what the forms are that it is available in. The bad news is that based on our experience with it with an old aunt, it's a two week process before it fully kicks in for one use--a mood elevator, but hopefully it will start sooner for your application. But boy, once it kicked in, she was a different person and wanted to be sure she got it every day. Just remember, this is probably one of the most important things and times in the life of your son, and it will work out. Hold in, don't go completely grey--if you're lucky maybe your hair will just fall out.
-
Hold in, don't go completely grey--if you're lucky maybe your hair will just fall out.
That wouldnt be a bad thing for sure! LOL
-
TiimJ - Your description of the medicine scene sounds so much like my son. I was so glad it was someone else and not me. My son would have added the twist of running to the trash and making himself throw up.
-
TIM-
Any chance it's OK to dilute that in another liquid..... like maybe a fruit juice? Then he'll never even know he's taking it.
We had to pump my son full of various medications from the time he was 8 months old until he was about 6 years old (severe seizure disorder). I'm thankful that it was nver a problem with him...... proably because he started taking them so young and didn't know any different.
-
There is only 5 kinds of liquid you can mix this with and we called the pharmacy and we were told to not mix it wiht anything other than those 5 because of chemical reactions...so we are limited to Water, lemonade, orange juice, 7 UP and ginger ale. So far the 7UP is working wonders. Last night....not a word out of him. We told him it was medicine time and we both braced ourselves...he walks in ...not a word...chugged it down. We were both left in awe...So I dunno....he is just gonna have to face it...he is going to take it everyday. The meds seem to be working great so far. I wasnt expecting this quick of action....figured it would take 2-3 weeks to kick in..but it was almost instant. He goes back to the Dr. this week for a follow up to see how he is doing with the meds. Just keep the prayers coming folks...Thanks for the ones we have gotten.
Timmayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
-
. The meds seem to be working great so far. I wasnt expecting this quick of action....figured it would take 2-3 weeks to kick in..but it was almost instant. He goes back to the Dr. this week for a follow up to see how he is doing with the meds. Just keep the prayers coming folks...Thanks for the ones we have gotten.
Timmayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
-
Hey Saintc...I think you forgot to add your reply.....lol
-
Hey Saintc...I think you forgot to add your reply.....lol
I sent one, or I tried--I'm not very computer adept obviously. My thoughts for you were that it's a great confirmation of the diagnosis and that your son now has the opportunity to pursue his abilities, onward and upward. Now I have to add, maybe I need to get some meds to learn to work the damn computer!
-
LOL...no you just need to get your head out of your ass...and pay attention to what you are doing LOL...just kiddin bro....LOL...
Have a good one....and thanks for your thoughts
Timmmay
-
Pudding for breakfast!
My son can't swallow the horse pill that is his medicine. We open up the capsule and mix it in a snack pudding. he thinks it great that he gets a pudding along with his cereal in the morning
-
well this is a liquid and it specifically says...only these 5 liquids it can be mixed with. We are having a great success with the 7UP but ....yes I said BUT.....this week it is almost like he is going in reverse. We cant quite seem to figure it out. We come home from work and he is just terrible. Screaming ..arguing...just acting like a 5 year old. So we send him to his bed until supper time and the whole time in bed he did nothing but cried and carried on. Well about 30 minutes after supper he is like the normal sweet good natured 10 year old. It really leaves me and the wife scratching our head. We go back to the dr in a few weeks but I think we are going to give her a call tomorrow to see what she thinks about it....so I dunno....wish us luck
-
Now I have to add, maybe I need to get some meds to learn to work the damn computer!
God how I wish they made that, I would have my whole office drugged!! ;)
Timmj, hang in there man. It will take a few trials to get the correct meds and dosage right, just make good notes and try to keep a timelog of the changes in him to give the doc. If something doesn't work in a few days you can get on the docs ass and have the logs to help. Remember the doc is working for you.....