Sly Bald Guys Forum
Discussions About Being Bald => General Discussion => Topic started by: benlen on January 16, 2013, 03:50:53 PM
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Okay, so every once in awhile I stumble upon a topic on hairlosshelp.com, and honestly, all I can do is shake my head and sometimes. These guys have some really bizarre opinions of shaved heads. Obviously, they are a community of hair transplant/rogaining/hair transplanting wannabes (I don't say this in a negative way, that's just who they are) and I once browsed their forums, and I look at their discussions and think of what a contrast it is to the positivity and good nature of our forum. On their forum, they are often negative and extremely fearful of baldness, and hate on bald guys. Just read some of these excerpts:
I mean really it's not like it [shaved head] looks any better. In fact you can see the horseshoe shape form on them even worse. The lighter hairs are more prominent. So why do they do it? I feel embarassed for them.
Now I see so many balding young guys who would have been considered conservative mainstream in the 90s (yuppie types), and they ALL shave their heads. And why ? Not as a statement bucking the mainstream, but because they THINK they are hiding their hairloss by doing it.
They are slaves to the shaven head image (just as much as NW 2-3 guys here are about preserving their hair) , and live in constant fear of their hair growing out and revealing their MPB. They just lost the MPB battle early, and figure the next best thing to do is simply shave it all cueball slick to HIDE the dreaded old-fart "horseshoe fringe". There is NOTHING brave about it for most; it's just another insecure reaction to MPB and they do it because it's fashionable (meaning there are so many other dweebs doing it, so "why not" they say ?) There is nothing courageous about that.
All I can say to these guys is, what? How is shaving your head in any way not a brave act? WTF? Their logic seems totally messed up.
What do you guys think?
Link to topic: http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/messageview.cfm?catid=10&threadid=44410
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That thread is 7 years old now...before SBG had even been created. A lot of perception has changed since then. With that said, there are still a LOT of guys on that forum that don't get it and are searching for the holy grail to getting their hair back. Only if they realized that going Sly is the holy grail.
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That thread is 7 years old now...before SBG had even been created. A lot of perception has changed since then. With that said, there are still a LOT of guys on that forum that don't get it and are searching for the holy grail to getting their hair back. Only if they realized that going Sly is the holy grail.
It shouldn't be about getting your hair back it's about being FREE of hair related concerns and worries. And no hair = no concerns and worries = freedom.
I've had a brief look at the site and it looks pretty sad.
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I came upon a few threads from that site a while back and wow, what a miserable environment they have over there! Almost all of the posters seem sad or angry and obviously never got over their hairloss in a healthy manner. I'm pretty sure not one thread there is positive or constructive.
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Have to agree with Gary on it looking sad where is the bright and cheery colors???
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Besides, I don't know anybody who thinks shaving hides hair loss. That's not why we do it.
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They are just scared of our awesomeness.
Some people view their hair as the most important thing in life. Fools!
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They are just scared of our awesomeness.
Some people view their hair as the most important thing in life. Fools!
Absolutely ^^^^^^^^^^^right!
Besides, I don't know anybody who thinks shaving hides hair loss. That's not why we do it.
Also Absolutely ^^^^^^^^^^^right!
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Wow. I had never seen that site before, but after a look around at the forums, it's quite sad. Not to mention a bit scary. There are threads there, I kid you not, one link separate between "Finasteride made my junk stop working" to "Oh my! hair loss! Here's a link to buy some Finasteride" Tha hell? :o Priorities, people!
One pretty major difference I noticed is that on this forum, more than half the members have a real life pic up for their avatar. On that site....NONE NADA ZIP. It's quite telling actually. If they have their situation under control using the drugs and rugs, why be ashamed to post a real pic? Our sly brethren here don't seem to have much to hide.
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Wow. I had never seen that site before, but after a look around at the forums, it's quite sad. Not to mention a bit scary. There are threads there, I kid you not, one link separate between "Finasteride made my junk stop working" to "Oh my! hair loss! Here's a link to buy some Finasteride" Tha hell? :o Priorities, people!
One pretty major difference I noticed is that on this forum, more than half the members have a real life pic up for their avatar. On that site....NONE NADA ZIP. It's quite telling actually. If they have their situation under control using the drugs and rugs, why be ashamed to post a real pic? Our sly brethren here don't seem to have much to hide.
Sorry to repeat myself again but Vodoo speaks the truth. I'm thinking of joining their forum because they obviously need someone to set them straight but I reckon that hanging out there even for a little while would be such a downer -- still I might do it and post a proper avatar also.
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These types of guys are everywhere. Don't let it ruin your day.
Live by my motto instead:
"
There are dumb asses everywhere, don't let a dumb ass ruin your day".
Let's move along to better things.
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These types of guys are everywhere. Don't let it ruin your day.
Live by my motto instead:
"
There are dumb asses everywhere, don't let a dumb ass ruin your day".
Let's move along to better things.
O0 AMEN !
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These types of guys are everywhere. Don't let it ruin your day.
Live by my motto instead:
"There are dumb asses everywhere, don't let a dumb ass ruin your day".
Let's move along to better things.
I think your right there.
I spent some time over there yesterday and there's a couple of trolls and some pretty nasty people. Quite incredible what people are willing to go through to get hair drugs though.
Returning to this forum from that forum is like returning to sanity [from insanity].
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Some people enjoy being miserable. Just leave them to it.
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I come from that background. I can saw a couple things.
1. There are SOME happy people on those sites, and some good people too. However, the environment is toxic compared to here. Believe of not, the difference is almost palatable.
2. There is a lot of money being made over there. Some of the more skilled surgeons can do some good work and some are even honest guys, however, they don't really stress how temporary the results can be. I started loosing my crown 2 m
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Oops. Hit the send button. 2 months after my surgery, so now I'm screwed.
I feel sorry for them. There are some trolls but some of the guys just aren't ready to give in. I can understand that.
But anyway, good for you guys. If you are all as happy and wise as you seem , the whole world should go sly.
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It's all about what makes the individual happy. Do some of the members of that site sound bitter? Sure, however part of the problem with some members of some forums is they tend to go with the "my way or the highway" attitude meaning that if you don't do what I do, you're wrong. If they are happy wishing for a hair growing miracle, let them enjoy themselves over there, because we sure are happy over here...Right?
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I don't know but I read the entire thread that was linked and most of the people seemed to come down on the original poster as being judgemental. It seemed to me that most of them expressed the opinion that shaving of the skull was, to paraphrase, an honorable act. There was one guy called "the norwegian" who wanted to divide the issue along racial lines. His opinion was that someone with dark skin should shave his head while someone who is pasty and lacks coloration should buzz. In fact he pointed out that shaving is wrong for white guys while buzzing is "correct". But a few people came down on him as well.
I think we're safe for now.
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I read some of those posts. The consistently sour attitude almost made me want to join just so I could post something to the effect of "Man up, guys. Hair loss isn't the end of the world. Now accept it, deal with it and move on. Nobody likes whiners and complainers. Get over it."
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Well said fellow sly brothers. I can't really add anything new.
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I think we're safe for now.
;D haha, hope so! I can understand that going bald is frightening for lots of people (it definitely was for me), so they may be in denial and trying to deny it - although I'm not religious I really like this quote
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
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Maybe I am missing the point but there are a number of positive replies about shaving your head on that thread?
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The difference between the two forums could be down to the fact that drugs and transplants are at best temporary fixes (honestly, who ever heard of total, permanent recovery from male hairloss?) and come with a hefty bill of physical and financial side effects. I think most of the people on the other forum must be aware of this, at least subconsciously, so they may also feel that they are basically pouring a lot of effort into waging a losing war... and a discouraged army is hardly the most positive and healthy environment to be in. And toxic environments attract trolls like s*%t attracts flies.
Whereas for most of the users of this forum is more of a matter of accepting one's lot, embracing it, enjoying its (many) positive sides in full, and move on. Makes sense?
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Well said, Todo!
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Having been one of those "jerks" I went on an HT forum today and just felt sad. So many are fighting a losing battle. Sooooooo ,uch money, so much hope, so much disappointment, etc. I feel really bad for them.
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I think the guy who posted that is just angry and frustrated and is venting it the best way he thinks he can. If I had to guess hes probably at a early stage of MPB and believes there is hope for him. And maybe there is and maybe there isnt. Best thing is to let these people be and not get into a heated argument with them
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Not directly related, but why is it that "misery loves company" and optimism requires a lot of reinforcement? I've noticed this in many workplaces and social settings.
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All good points Todo Duro, Sahil, and Frontier Guy!
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That thread is 7 years old now...before SBG had even been created. A lot of perception has changed since then. With that said, there are still a LOT of guys on that forum that don't get it and are searching for the holy grail to getting their hair back.
"[A]re searching" made me wonder. So, I did several Google searches, hair loss, bald, & with help, etc. To my amazement SBG never made it to the top page of the search--I only looked at the top page. hairlosshelp.com often was on that first page. I wonder if SBG might not consider changing the language of the home page to capture some of those searches so that at the very least the safe, sane and happy alternative is at least on the radar screen of those looking for help when they start waking up to hair on the pillow, having to clean out the shower drain on a weekly basis because it's clogged with hair. Just a thought. ::)
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Good point Saint, this site should be the first port of call! It amuses me that the OP claims people who shave are trying to hide their balding and are just as insecure, but if anything it strikes me as the opposite. When you have no hair to hide anything, it's out there in the open for everyone to see... And we're ok with that.
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I finally decided to look at this tread. I wasn't interested in the title, because I am not interested in Hair Replacement topics.
Just looking at it VERY BRIEFLY, I think it could be possible that there are people with a lot to gain by making comments and posting threads about products and procedures. (Kind of like when you read comments posted on line about a restaurant and realize that some of the positive comments are probably written by an owner or a friend of the owner).
That is the cool thing about being SLY... and about this forum: You can be SLY for free (for whatever reason you want). Sure, there are products that can be marketed toward Shaving your head.. but you don't NEED any of them specifically. You can simply use the products that you already use to shave your face and get good results. --anything better than these good results is a bonus.
Just my 2 cents... (whatever that is worth in this economy--- wait, don't figure that out, I may owe each of you thousands of dollars for just sharing my opinion! lol)
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I have to admit I sit on the fence between the two sites. Like you guys, I certainly don't use finasteride or minoxidil, I'm not interested in hair transplants right now, I don't combover and I don't use toupees. However, if there was a safe treatment that actually worked and that was neither excessively costly or cumbersome, I would be at the front of the queue! So the hairlosshelp site has its uses as it's somewhere I can go to check the latest research every now and then.
Also, unlike you guys, I don't shave my head for no other reason than that I can't be bothered. The required effort simply doesn't justify the end result for me. Of course I can see all your photographs and nice though they are I don't think they are any better or worse than what I would see if hairlosshelp did the same. I'm in a minority but I'm not particularly bothered if a man decides to wet shave his head or wants to sport a combover, I don't see any benefit for one over the other (both are more effort than its worth to me)! I buzz and can do so as infrequently as once a fortnight which is twice as often as I want to care about the state of my head quite frankly!
I think my philosophy has always been that it is nice to have a choice. That's why I'd take the treatment if it was safe, cheap and straightforward. I think we're all entitled to our own opinions on the matter and what I do pick up in this thread is a fairly judgemental attitude to the 'other side,' albeit one that is reciprocated. This site is definitely made up of the more confident bald people but at the same time it is important to remember that a lot of bald people do not identify with your look and choose not to look like you accordingly. That is fine and going on to their sites to 'set them straight' will probably be met with the same derision as would happen here is someone tried to sell finasteride on the forum! It's also important to remember many of us are quite happy in ourselves without needing to wet shave.
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Undecided, welcome to the forum.....Whether you become a full time participant on the forum or this winds up being your first and only post, we do appreciate you sharing your point of view. Reading through your post I found it to be very objective and not an attack on one side or the other. What I want to share with you is that, many lurkers think that we want to encourage EVERY man that is losing his hair to just wet shave it bald. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our objective here is to give men who are suffering from some form of hairloss support and to encourage them that going bald is not the end of the world. We have members who simply clippershave or buzzcut and those guys are still happy participants here. As far as the Hairloss website, I think a lot of the posts were in response to the person starting a negative thread against our site, but as I read along, most of the responses to said thread were either pretty positive or taking a "to each his own approach". I will admit as a moderator here, that calling the guys on the other side "jerks" may have been a bit extreme and unnecessary, but I think many of the negative responses may have been just frustration. One thing I like about our forum is that we welcome everyone to participate, hair or no hair, male or female. We have many members from all walks of life who enjoy participating and we hope that you, regardless of what you decide to do about your situation with your hair, will do the same. FWIW, we have many members who are not losing hair shave their head bald by choice. In short, hairloss and the handling of it is indeed an individual choice as you put it. Once again, thanks for stopping by and sharing, and the best of luck to you in your future decisions.
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They say we're insecure about hair loss by shaving it off. What the hell do they think they are! They're the ones trying to cover it with transplants and wigs. If anything they're the ones that are insecure about hairloss. Some people are so clueless.
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The view that wet shaving is a sign of insecurity is nonsense although I wouldn't go as far as to say that it is brave or bold either. It's simply someone trying to look their best and there's nothing wrong or insecure about that!
I take the slightly lazier outlook that I can't achieve a look I derive any pleasure from so I choose to make minimal effort. I guess it makes me a fence sitter because I'm not interested in drugs or razors. I like to take the doing nothing option literally!
Appearances really don't matter much at all to me. I think there is an assumption that people need to think they look good to feel confident but it's not a view I share. I don't think I look good but I have a family, a very good job and I've worked in multiple locations around the world. I really couldn't care less what I look like doing what I do!
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After reading this thread, I started looking around the hair loss website. The below post is from the hairlosstalk website and is wrong on soooooooo many levels....
http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthread.php?t=2439
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I've noticed a lot of people on this blog and others are still encouraging people to shave their heads and get on with life. I used to find this recommendation extremely distressing when I first started losing my hair, and still do. I would like to make a few points about head shaving for the people who still don't get it:
1) People who recommend shaving your head name the same five or six celebrities that suit the look. I can name hundreds of people who don't suit the look. You probably can too.
2) Most people's heads are funny shapes. Therefore, their shaved head looks terrible.
3) The shaved head is the look of choice for neo-Nazis.
4) It involves a lot of work to maintain a shaved head, including an extra 15 minutes shaving every single day.
5) Men who are not fit look terrible with a shaved head, so an extra hour of your life has to be given up to the gym. You also have to cut out all the foods you like for 'the look.'
6) You'll increase your chance of skin cancer with a shaved head. Better to cover up with a HT, hat or wig.
7) You didn't like going bald, so you'll hate being 100% bald.
I think I've made my point!
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I'll just pick up on a few of the points.
1) That's your personal opinion, not a fact.
2) That's your personal opinion, not a fact. However if most people have funny shaped heads, surely that would make it normal?
3) When was this written, the 1970s? Jeez.
Started to loose the will to live after that, but skipping ahead to point 7
7) How would you know? My experience obviously differs from the original post author (as someone who has actually shaved their head), but being totally shaved is much better than balding. That's personal opinion too - but one based on actually trying it.
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This is three years old. I think if that person feels this way, they have a right to their opinion. Please hope they don't want to say it here. :o
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I would suggest that accept the changes , ie hair loss, as an attribute of your wondeful self , all of us are changing . I made the change voluntarily to become bald by choice .
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The guy who wrote those 7 points of why not to shave your head went on to write:
"I'm seriously considering artificial implants. Whilst they are not available in the US, fortunately I live in the free world where they are! I think what I'll do is have a very generous real hair transplant at the front, where things need to look natural, and then when the rest of my head thins out more I'll get implants if I don't have the doner hair to finish the job."
Wow, that sounds
1- expensive
2- scary
3 -highly probable to not look right
4 -questionable
5 -totally self-absorbed
6 -high maintenance (many return vists)
7 -over the top
*** just my opinion.
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I came to SBG because there were tons of folks out there in the same predicament and I wanted to have a place where people were friendly, encouraging and open-minded. That all, and more, is part of why I keep coming back.
The negatives can come from any place, any time. I don't like the idea of selling someone on a procedure or medication that *may* help. There are no guarantees in life (except those two...) and, although it's fine to mention such things, encouraging others to undergo such treatments (without knowing the individual) is a little questionable.
The same could be said for encouraging someone to shave their heads, but these's a catch: shaving is temporary. Drugs and surgeries can have permanent effects on the body, the mind and the psyche. Having a smooth dome can be, without doing any work at all, grown to a buzz in a few weeks (depending on how short you like it). So, encouraging someone to try a wet shave is one thing, encouraging someone to invest in drugs, rugs and plugs is quite another. Unless, of course, you're in the pay of the companies who provide these services/products.
I encourage people to shave because for me, it honestly just feels right. I fought it (not via drugs but by simple denial) for a long time, the buzz cuts getting shorter and shorter. I found I liked the look and so, when I encourage someone else, I am coming from the standpoint of trying something new, and fresh...and above all, not permanent!
It does take a special kind of person to wear the sly look, I agree. I hope to aspire to some of the true greats one day who have made others proud by owning the sly look !!
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Quite xtraordinary slymke is,nt it
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I'm new to being sly, I have only been doing it a month or so. If you ask me would I rather have a full head of hair....
If the only reason was visual aesthetics, than yes.... maybe, BUT
Taking into account all factors, including maintenance, cost, freedom.... I think I would honestly prefer being shaved. I love being sly, and the lifestyle advantages. I used to wear a hat all the time. I only wear one now for sun protection on occasion. I'm truly happy with bald head, and what those insecure people on the other forum don't get, is true aesthetics is more than a visual depiction. It's personality and the way you carry yourself. I'm comfortable in my skin being sly, I would bet anything they would be hard pressed to find so,done comfortable in their skin, when it's covered in a hairpiece.
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I'm new to being sly, I have only been doing it a month or so. If you ask me would I rather have a full head of hair....
If the only reason was visual aesthetics, than yes.... maybe, BUT
Taking into account all factors, including maintenance, cost, freedom.... I think I would honestly prefer being shaved. I love being sly, and the lifestyle advantages. I used to wear a hat all the time. I only wear one now for sun protection on occasion. I'm truly happy with bald head, and what those insecure people on the other forum don't get, is true aesthetics is more than a visual depiction. It's personality and the way you carry yourself. I'm comfortable in my skin being sly, I would bet anything they would be hard pressed to find so,done comfortable in their skin, when it's covered in a hairpiece.
I would definitely be extremely self conscious walking around with a toup. Not sure how anyone would prefer that to being bald. I'm happy with the bald head, too. I deliberately don't wear hats indoors because I don't want to project the image that I am insecure or embarrassed by my bald head.
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Please not a toupe , it looks riduculous
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Please not a toupe , it looks riduculous
Amen brother!
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I had to buy a wig several years ago for a role I played. It is a pompadore style and looks like something you would expect to see on a televangelist. From the audience, it looks real; but up close, there is no mistaking it's a wig.
The whole time I was on stage, all I did was worry about the thing shifting or coming off. The tape to hold it on the scalp is not comfortable and loosens with sweat. I cannot fathom going around all day with that same worry and discomfort while wondering how many people can see it is a fake and are snickering at me.
I would gladly take the horseshoe back before ever considering wearing one of those things in public.
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All those hair loss commercials really tick me off as they try to take advantage of balding men's insecurities- essentially telling them they look bad without hair.
A lot of balding guys worry about what the office will think if they walked in one day completely sly. Can you imagine the alternate scenario - balding one day and than walking in the next day with a full, thick head of phony hair?
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I've reached the point where I can't understand why any guy would even want hair? These guys live in fear of losing their hair; little do they know that life without it is just fine, and in some cases, better.