Sly Bald Guys Forum

Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: Nate on August 05, 2010, 10:33:18 PM

Title: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 05, 2010, 10:33:18 PM
Biggest or one of the biggest points is the worry of dating

What are you experiences of when you shaved down... especially with the women
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Rob-Raz on August 05, 2010, 11:44:46 PM
Well....my wife said one of the things that got her to notice me was my shaved head...which was just a no guard clipper shave at the time.  Have since went sly and she loves it.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 05, 2010, 11:49:19 PM
Razor Rob

Please do not take this the wrong way but your wife is gorgeous. You look like a made man

What age did you start losing and at what point did you say enough is enough its coming off
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Rob-Raz on August 06, 2010, 12:02:43 AM
Hey.....I can't take a compliment about my wife in a bad way. Thanks!  8)

I started thinning out on top in my early twenties...but already clipper shaved by choice..just liked the look. In my early thirties i tried to grow it back out again and realized it wasnt gonna work.  :-\  so back to the clipper shave.  I turn 40 next month and justed shaved bald a month ago for the first time (and every day since.) Shaving is so much easier and i dont have any days where the look is kinda iffy.....like in the picture in my avatar...where the sides are a bit darker than the top.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 06, 2010, 12:09:49 AM
My fear (here we go again with my insecurities) is shaving it down and seeing the patchy baldness (my hair is slightly longer so its hard to tell how patchy bald I am) but I honestly will shave

So from the sounds your hair cut short clipped lasted for quite a while

I also believe that the shaved look makes alot of guys that normally blend into the background with hair and it brings them to the front where women notice them. That mixed in with a bit of confidence and its a good thing

I have this ambition to shave down and go surfing for a few months
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Smooth_Operator on August 06, 2010, 09:01:25 AM
Nate - from what I've found, there are some women who don't like the sly look, but the majority do... and those that like it *really* like it.  Go to the coffee shop, grocery store or beach a week after you go sly and you'll see what I mean.  There's really no one who is indifferent about sly guys, but most people don't notice someone with hair unless something else about them stands out (to Rob-Raz' point about getting noticed).

Sly guys have at least a little "bad boy" in them, and that edge is attractive.  Balding guys, guys self-conscious about their hair, guys that don't make eye contact... not as attractive, regardless of what you look like or what shape you're in... because you're constantly hiding something.  There's always a monologue going on in your head about "how does my hair look" and people can sense that you're not 100% present in the conversation.

Going sly doesn't change who you are, it just takes the "hoping-no-one-notices-my-bad-hair" part of social interactions completely off the table.  It lets you be who you really are.  So if you're going to do it, embrace it... get excited about it, smile more, hold your head up, walk around like being sly has given you some super-powers that only you know about.  The difference is night and day.

In dealing socially with women, it's not about whether you have hair or shave it off, and which they prefer visually... it's about being able to genuinely be you (for a change).  And having your badass-edness automatically turned up three notches does not hurt at all.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on August 06, 2010, 09:21:17 AM
What are you experiences of when you shaved down... especially with the women
Pre-shaved, the thinning and combover days--no comments, no compliments

Shaved--comments, almost all positive, except from my wife, and I get hit on by the ladies--first was a stewardess--unfortunately for me wife was next to me :o.  Takes a while to realize that as a sly guy, I'm attractive to women again--and it's really nice.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: kenny57028 on August 06, 2010, 09:36:37 AM
I started thinning out when I was 17 bout 2 years ago and it was around that time I started shaving with no gaurd and about 3 months ago I started to use a razor. I think its true with the comment above that with hair especially at my age you fit in with the 98% of other teens. So me being bald brings attention to me and none of its negative anymore so I'm glad it worked in my favor. :D
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: phigg on August 06, 2010, 09:57:42 AM
Nate - from what I've found, there are some women who don't like the sly look, but the majority do... and those that like it *really* like it.  Go to the coffee shop, grocery store or beach a week after you go sly and you'll see what I mean.  There's really no one who is indifferent about sly guys, but most people don't notice someone with hair unless something else about them stands out (to Rob-Raz' point about getting noticed).

Sly guys have at least a little "bad boy" in them, and that edge is attractive.  Balding guys, guys self-conscious about their hair, guys that don't make eye contact... not as attractive, regardless of what you look like or what shape you're in... because you're constantly hiding something.  There's always a monologue going on in your head about "how does my hair look" and people can sense that you're not 100% present in the conversation.

Going sly doesn't change who you are, it just takes the "hoping-no-one-notices-my-bad-hair" part of social interactions completely off the table.  It lets you be who you really are.  So if you're going to do it, embrace it... get excited about it, smile more, hold your head up, walk around like being sly has given you some super-powers that only you know about.  The difference is night and day.

In dealing socially with women, it's not about whether you have hair or shave it off, and which they prefer visually... it's about being able to genuinely be you (for a change).  And having your badass-edness automatically turned up three notches does not hurt at all.


Very, very well said. 
I've found the responses to be favorable compared to my "previous" self too.
I've often got a sort of cheeky mischievous smirk about it too, in public.  Adds a twinkle to your eye.  Most Women care more about your eyes and ass than your hair, actually. But they DEFINITELY notice self-confidence and a man who is content with himself. That's the big thing.  Those few women who are hung up on a guy's hair are probably too superficial to be worth the bother anyway, really.


I wanted to add:  it can be hard to remember that men and women think quite differently, and have different perspectives, especially where the opposite sex is concerned. If you don't find men attractive, then obviously, you don't think like a women, right?  Men are more visually stimulated, "hot" babes, that kind of thing;  women are more drawn to confidence, attitude.. that's why sometimes it's the "ugly" guys (in our opinion) that get all the women.  Ever known someone like that?  That's why. Looks do matter to a women, (mostly grooming and hygiene) but not at the same priority level as they do to a guy.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 06, 2010, 02:35:17 PM
I do appreciate and totally understand what you guys are all saying

Its no magic bullet but it definitely is a character building statement to society. I guess it is what you make of it I am sure there are bald guys out there that sit at home curled up like a ball feeling sorry for themselves so its all about acceptance and that is what makes it attractive

You must all get fustrated with guys like me making up excuses or too chicken to just do it but its such a huge change and one I need to get right in my head. I still struggle with the whole vanity with myself. And now I still continue to stare at myself in the mirror trying to dream up how I would look

Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on August 06, 2010, 02:43:52 PM
You must all get fustrated with guys like me making up excuses or too chicken to just do it but its such a huge change and one I need to get right in my head. I still struggle with the whole vanity with myself. And now I still continue to stare at myself in the mirror trying to dream up how I would look

Not at all, all of us w/ mpb have had those discussions w/ ourselves in the mirror.  What we try to do is have you trust us when we tell you, you will only regret one thing in the final analysis--that you waited so long to do it.  The other stuff is no where near as big.  Just wishing we hadn't waited so damn long. 
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 06, 2010, 02:54:49 PM
I guess you could say nowadays going bald makes you more vain potentially  ;) As in shaving it off
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on August 06, 2010, 02:56:20 PM
I guess you could say nowadays going bald makes you more vain potentially  ;) As in shaving it off

Oh yeah, now you're getting the attitude. 8)
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 06, 2010, 05:06:42 PM
I wish I could drop the self conscious thing

All I can honestly picture in my mind is my wider family and the reactions and my headshape isnt the best :S
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on August 06, 2010, 07:02:32 PM
I wish I could drop the self conscious thing

All I can honestly picture in my mind is my wider family and the reactions and my headshape isnt the best :S

Understood, but hold on to this, your mind is not holding or perceiveing reality--it really isn't. 
Trust us on this.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 06, 2010, 07:22:08 PM
Still got this Hair Transplant scar

Trying to cohearse my friend into coming to Thailand so I can get a tan buzz my head and get used to being comfortable with myself in my new look

I know it sounds extreme but a holiday will definitely help me clear my head even though anxiety will hit home when I get home
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on August 06, 2010, 07:24:08 PM
Excuses, excuses--just do it--you want to, just do it.
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 08, 2010, 02:20:44 AM
 ;D

Mate I must sound like everyone here would of at some point. After you do it it sounds like no big deal but building yourself up to do it is another story. I think its not the dating thing I think its more the vanity or self conscious thing about looking or thinking I look like a fool argh

Ill change my username to ExcuseKing
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Redgrave101 on August 08, 2010, 03:38:33 AM
You'll get there, I let myself get in a real state over it all. Only recently have i begun to embrace the look. Now im finding myself alot more confident (most of the time) I still have my bad moments, but then who doesn't!?
As for dating, im off to London next week to meet up with a girl i met while on holiday back in March... and to be frank, she is stunning! Shes from Nice in the south of France and works as a full time nurse. Naturally i feel i am punching WAY above my weight here but hey, she liked me plenty back then so why wouldn't she now? She already knows about my decision to shave and isn't bothered by it.
So i'll be sure and let you know just how that goes, i think the biggest mistake i could make would be to not shave and therefore be worried about how my hair looks, rather than giving her my full attention.
Also just to clarify, my avatar was back when i had probably a number 2 buzz. I had some thinning going on at the top but i seemed to be the only one who noticed. Im think the best thing you could do for yourself right now is bust out the clippers!!
On a final note.. have to agree with you about Rob's other half. He's one lucky guy!
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 08, 2010, 02:00:09 PM
You'll get there, I let myself get in a real state over it all. Only recently have i begun to embrace the look. Now im finding myself alot more confident (most of the time) I still have my bad moments, but then who doesn't!?
As for dating, im off to London next week to meet up with a girl i met while on holiday back in March... and to be frank, she is stunning! Shes from Nice in the south of France and works as a full time nurse. Naturally i feel i am punching WAY above my weight here but hey, she liked me plenty back then so why wouldn't she now? She already knows about my decision to shave and isn't bothered by it.
So i'll be sure and let you know just how that goes, i think the biggest mistake i could make would be to not shave and therefore be worried about how my hair looks, rather than giving her my full attention.
Also just to clarify, my avatar was back when i had probably a number 2 buzz. I had some thinning going on at the top but i seemed to be the only one who noticed. Im think the best thing you could do for yourself right now is bust out the clippers!!
On a final note.. have to agree with you about Rob's other half. He's one lucky guy!

I always stress about this and I am sure you guys all been through this

Head shape. I am in two minds I do not think I will look good (trying to get over the feeling of caring or being comfortable thats the idea behind going away and being amongst strangers)

You can tell you will look good with a shaved head. And this girl as we all know most women really look at the person inside. We all talk about punching above our own weight but then hey maybe shes thinking the same.

I am also trying to get to grips with the fact most people have their own issues so they do not care whether you shave your head or not. So we make this out to be a massive thing because it is in our own minds but to most other people they could care less what you do (we make ourselves feel like we are the centre of the world)
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Redgrave101 on August 08, 2010, 02:57:33 PM
[I am also trying to get to grips with the fact most people have their own issues so they do not care whether you shave your head or not. So we make this out to be a massive thing because it is in our own minds but to most other people they could care less what you do (we make ourselves feel like we are the centre of the world)]

So true.
 
 
 
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: BillOnBass on August 08, 2010, 04:37:06 PM
I'm with Nate and Redgrave.  If anyone is worried about dating after they are balding/shaved bald, just take one look at Rob-Raz's profile pic!
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Nate on August 08, 2010, 08:00:58 PM
And who is that girl in yellow hanging off you Redgrave... She is a stunner
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: Rob-Raz on August 09, 2010, 07:53:12 AM
 O:O  Thanks guys, I told my wife she had some new fans!  :)
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: IRONHORSE on August 09, 2010, 12:46:04 PM
Hmmm...this goes back a ways, I'm 44 now. I began losing my hair some time in my mid-late 20's. I began by buying a pair of clippers, and began progressing to shorter and shorter attachments. I don't recall an exact date, but one day, after having used the shortest of the attachments for some while, I was shaving my face and thought to myself "Why not just shave my whole head?" That was the beginning of Sly-ness for me. I've been a head shaver ever since. ;)

When I first shaved my head, I was engaged to the girl I'd met right after I divorced my first wife. That engagement fell through, and I decided I'd spend awhile "sewing my wild oats." I proceeded to do so, with great vigor. O:O

I'll spare you the details, as I don't want to come off as a braggart. Suffice it to say, I have never found being sly to be any kind of impediment to picking up women, and I can't recall a single incident of a woman saying anything like "Oh, you're bald. I'm not interested." If anything, I think the confidence boost I got by ridding myself of my receding hairline and going fully sly made it easier to pick up women, as opposed to wondering what she would be thinking of my receding hairline. :-\

No doubt about it - being Sly has definitely been a huge plus for me! I married the great love of my life as a SBG, and she's told me that if there were a pill that would magically enable me to grow a full head of hair again, she'd want me to STAY sly! O0
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: phigg on August 10, 2010, 10:22:02 AM
Good points.  So many guys worry and obsses over their hair/hairloss (I sure did!!), and it distracts you.  It takes you off your game, it kills your self confidence.
Getting rid of the hair altogether removes that obstacle.

Nate, I don't know what kind o' shape melon you have, but they come in all kinds.  why do you think yours isn't a "good" shape?  BTW, I really had no idea about mine, I'd also kept my hair long enough that I honestly couldn't know.  I was kinda pleasantly surprised that I had a "bi-level" pate, lol. Damn shame my noggin is marred up by HT scars, but of course I'll be working on improving and diminishing those.

Here's a recent true story:  our next door neighbor, he was in his early 80's, and a recently widow'd guy, died about 6 months ago. His kids (who are all grown up w/ their own homes) have been fixing up the property to sell it. His daughter (who's older than I) heard about my head shaving from her brother, who I'd talked to the other day, and she went on and on to my wife about how "she totally loooves a shaved bald guy"; for her, apparently, it's handsome and bold. So some women actually prefer that look!


 
Title: Re: Shaving down - What age did you do it and how has it affected dating
Post by: kenny57028 on August 10, 2010, 10:34:18 AM
I am also trying to get to grips with the fact most people have their own issues so they do not care whether you shave your head or not. So we make this out to be a massive thing because it is in our own minds but to most other people they could care less what you do (we make ourselves feel like we are the centre of the world)

Yes so true. Many people are worried about the way they look and the way other people think of them that they don't have time to think twice that your bald. Think about it before you went bald and you saw someone that was sly did you ever think twice about it or were you just "oh that guy has a shaved head" and nothing more past that.  Even super models who are suppose to be the best looking people out there are self consicous about one thing or another. Trust me man you pry look alot better than you think.