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#15 by isleepinthebuff on 04 Feb, 2012 12:04
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for me I think shaved works. here is a pic of me on my holiday LAST year and a picture of me from July on this years holiday! I don't think hair is an option for me!
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#16 by Acme on 04 Feb, 2012 12:25
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Funny. Looks like 2 different people. No hair does look better
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#17 by sailor61 on 04 Feb, 2012 12:34
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Buff - you look great bald, just as the original poster here most likely would. It is a better look for you. The point I'm trying to make to Hotrn is, as much as I hate the reality of it, six weeks before a wedding where he is playing an integral part, it's no longer his decision. And, even if she says yes and then doesn't like it, he'll own the decision since it was a bad one. It's not fair but it's how these things work.
Should it be his call alone? Yes, of course. But the reality of life in the culture in which we live is that the bride owns it and calls ALL the shots. The time to experiment was 6 months out, not now. Women and weddings are a dangerous combination and should not be approached with an open can of gas in one hand and a lit match in the other... -
#18 by isleepinthebuff on 04 Feb, 2012 12:40
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Funny. Looks like 2 different people. No hair does look better
It does! NEVER again! -
#19 by Razor X on 04 Feb, 2012 12:47
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Acme - you look great bald as the original poster here most likely would. The point I'm trying to make to him is, as much as I hate the reality of it, six weeks before a wedding where he is palying an integral part it's no longer his decision.
Should it be? Yes, of course. But the reality of life in the culture in which we live is that the bride owns it and calls the shots. The time to experiment was 6 months out, not now. Women and weddings are a dangerous combination and should not be approached with an open can of gas in one hand and a lit match in the other...
I agree. If the bride were 100% on board, I'd say go for it now, but since she's a little unsure, I say wait until after the wedding and then do it. -
#20 by sailor61 on 04 Feb, 2012 13:07
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Even if she were 100% on board, unless she is insisting he shave, he's better off waiting. In my limited experience what was an approved action that comes out less than wonderful has a way of morphing into"that's not what I meant.."
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#21 by AgeTwentyTwoBaldy on 04 Feb, 2012 16:28
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sailor is spot on with his assessment, brother. Even though a marriage is between a man and a woman, the man is really nothing but another piece of the background, because it's HER wedding. My advice... keep trying to persuade her until you get a fully positive endorsement. Explain to her that if you shave it now, you will still have a good buzz cut by the time the wedding rolls around if she doesn't like it. Tell her that she may actually like it more than your current hair. Never know until you try!
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#22 by boston501 on 05 Feb, 2012 06:25
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if she loves you then she'll love you bald
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#23 by buddha on 05 Feb, 2012 08:04
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"SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED" Bridezillas don;t just happen - they are made and don't risk that.
I totally understand the logic that Sailor has put forth here, BUT (and this is a big but), men don't have their individuality and power stolen by the women in their lives. They surrender it. If getting married to this particular woman is of the utmost importance in your life plan and nothing else matters then, by all means, do as she says. If, however, being an independent man and your own individuality is important to you then advise her that you will be entering the world of sly. She may not like it but what are her options? She could, of course call off the wedding. The minuses of this are obvious. The big plus is that you have established your domain. And what is your domain, you ask? It is the right to make decisions regarding your own body.
Consider this. If you allow her to make this decision for you what lies in the future? There will be nothing in your life that you do not, out of fear for her wrath, decide for yourself. You will consult with her and place her opinion above your own on matters that have little or no implications for her. Have you ever seen the married couple at the mall on Sunday when football is on and you look at the guy's face and he is wearing a zombielike expression because his buddies are watching the game but he has to be at the mall with the misses picking out a new comforter and dust ruffle set? And when he attempts to have input in the decision he has been put down and told to stay much like any other family pet. So he is just there, like a couple of others have stated. A decoration. Is that what you are looking for in life/marriage?
Marriage is a partnership, that means that each person has an equal amount of power and input. The sad truth is that since the court system has established that a man is basically nothing more than a beast of burden that he has very few rights and even less importance. Remember that when people with children divorce that women are awarded custody of children almost exclusively. Even when the children are boys and have a stronger bond with their father they are sent to live with the person who cannot even teach them the one basic function that sets men and women apart on a routine daily basis: taking a pee in the standing position. If you surrender your power now it will be gone forever. Keep it and maintain balance in your marriage, that way she knows that she is getting a MAN as a partner, not a ball-less little boy who needs to be mothered throughout his adult life.
But the choice is yours. You may have convinced yourself that this woman is special, she is the only one who can fill the hole in your soul but she's not. If she objects to you making your own decisions now imagine what your life will be 10 years into the marriage when you really have something to lose.
You could be the guy walking in the mall on Sunday looking for a new dust ruffle. Is that what you want your life to look like? -
#24 by buddha on 05 Feb, 2012 09:08
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For more on this read the article below. I might add that the article was written by a woman.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/08/the-lost-art-of-masculinity/ -
#25 by Slynito on 05 Feb, 2012 09:32
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I look at relationships as a big assed bell curve...while courting and the touchy feely, he'in 'n' she'n period you are climbing the curve to marriage at the top...these are the best of times...after marriage it's a downhill slide...when I walked down the aisle there was something in my head trying to tell me something...later I found out it was my better judgement screaming at me over the loud organist, "Run like a scalded dog, you idiot"!
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#26 by Sir Harry on 05 Feb, 2012 15:48
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Nice article and post Buddha....I sometimes wonder if I would have followed these rules in moderation could one of my marriages have been saved....Getting back to the point, this seems like one of these "damned if you do or damned if you don't" situations. Ultimately, we have to make a choice and just be prepared to own it if its the wrong one. It's easy for us to say "Wait till after the wedding" or "It's your head 24-7 does it matter what she wants" but ultimately, to the original poster, you have to weigh all the pros and cons based on your situation, not what we say...BTW I wish the only thing that was wrong with my marriage was whether or not to be sly....I might be a bigamist by now
Finally, good luck and best wishes to you and the bride to be...
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#27 by hotrn on 06 Feb, 2012 22:46
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Well let's add another curve to the situation... I now have an out break of sebhorric dermitis in my head!!! This is the second out break in three months! This stuff itches and is sore! The last time, I went to the doctor and the medicine she gave me was $300+ per perscription and didn't work! Now what?
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#28 by Itall on 06 Feb, 2012 23:34
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Head and shoulders everyday
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#29 by chgobuzzbald on 06 Feb, 2012 23:49
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BINGO !!! Your medical excuse why you MUST shave you head now and keep it shaved. Problem solved.