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22 and balding with weird head shape - Afraid of looking like a bald teenager by wonderbread1030 on 16 Jul, 2017 22:08
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Hey guys, I've lurked on and off this forum for about at least a year or so and finally decided to post as I've discovered a newly-developed bald spot on the back of my head.
To give some back-story, my balding begun roughly 3-4 years ago and I began Rogaine treatment shortly followed by finasteride treatment soon after discovering this and deciding I didn't want to be the balding dude who looks like he's barely 18.
Well I feel that it's worked more or less up until now. Before, I had only had a slightly receded hairline on one side of my head and some minor thinning on top of my head. However, I recently decided to try to use Rogaine (which keeps wanting to correct to romaine - lol) on my crown area as I had noticed a bit more thinning on the top-ish area of my head (which I have since chalked up to the cessation of my use of my ketaconazole shampoo). This, however has led to a significant amount of initial shedding on the back of my head and has now appeared in the form of an early bald spot.
While I had more or less no reason to be concerned about further balding as I hadn't noticed any significant change for the 3 or so years I had been using the aforementioned treatments, I now have a strong and immediate one after getting the sides and back of my head cut a bit shorter. I am now facing the decision to shave my head as I'm frankly sick of worrying about direct sunlight, going anywhere near water, and of course the terrifying natural phenomena of wind.
My biggest reservations about doing this are the fact that I have a strangely long skull that slopes towards the front and not one of those square-ish pill-shaped heads that seem to look the best bald and the fact that I am quite skinny and have the face of a teenager who hasn't a whisper of hope in being able to grow a beard that extends above his neck.
On top of this, I have rather wide hips (not clear in these photos as it is sort of cut off by the counter) which only adds to my fear of looking like this wonkily-shaped bald child. (In respect to the hips and the fact that I have little muscle definition, etc. I have considered getting tested for Klinefelter syndrome if anyone here is familiar with that). I have recently begun working out more seriously - about 3-5 times per week depending on how much time I have, but my motivation to continue is honestly not the strongest.
While I do have an incredibly supportive girlfriend, I of course am terrified of how everyone else in my life will react - I simply do not have many supportive friendships outside of a handful or two of close friends and my girlfriend. I also can't get the theoretical image of how random neighbors and family members I haven't seen in a while would react to it out of my head. I'm clearly really not an incredibly self-confident person to begin with - this basically just makes matters worse.
Anyways - here are a couple photos of me and my "situation". Let me know what you guys think and of course any suggestions or recommendations would be very much appreciated!
(also apologies for the creepy black boxes)
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#1 by Jordan1991 on 16 Jul, 2017 22:51
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Go bald and stop worrying is my advice. All those treatments sound tiring!
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#2 by Semi-Sly on 16 Jul, 2017 23:21
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Jut give yourself a break already!
You don't have a wonky shaped head; why do you give a sh*t about what "the neighbors" or anyone else thinks, etc.?
You still have a lot of hair and if you choose to do so you can "gget away with it" for a little while yet - but why?
There is no rule about having facial hair with a shed head, and IMHO I prefer the completely clean look to the "I am making up for the lack of hair on the top of my head" look.
IMHO A good looking young man like you must be out of his Freaking mind using dangerous drugs and chemicals that threaten impotence and sterility just to hold on to his baby hair for a few more years!
Just stop worrying about it and do what makes YOU FEEL good! And then you will be FREE!
Why not at least give it a try? It is not like yo are getting a tattoo or an amputation! Just march off to a real man's barber shop that still uses a straight razor and instruct the lads to make your head gleam! If there are no such shops in you area I am sure that one of the guys from this board who live in your area will be happy to do it for you. (I will do it for you!)
Then, observe the 30 day rule and, if at the end of that time you don't FEEL comfortable as a Sly guy, you can always grow back your scraps.
Now what is so hard about this?
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#3 by wonderbread1030 on 16 Jul, 2017 23:41
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Thanks for the replies, guys!
@Semi-Sly, It's pretty funny how some certain stupid images can stop us from doing things like this, huh? I really shouldn't care at all what my neighbors or anyone will think!
The part that sort of stops me the most I think is simply my ever-present anxiety. I should probably mention that I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so even the smallest things can make my mind go into warp-speed. I don't want to blame all of my problems on my anxiety, but it certainly doesn't make anything easier.
I honestly have periods where I don't really worry at all about my hair and then periods like this where I start to notice balding a little more and think of all of the worst-case scenarios.
I guess I'm also curious how some of you guys got over the initial shock people had when they first saw you bald? Specifically I'm wondering how people reacted after you uploaded that first bald profile picture to FB - I'm sure thats probably the first time many people in your social circles will have seen your new look! -
#4 by Jordan1991 on 17 Jul, 2017 00:50
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Thanks for the replies, guys!
@Semi-Sly, It's pretty funny how some certain stupid images can stop us from doing things like this, huh? I really shouldn't care at all what my neighbors or anyone will think!
The part that sort of stops me the most I think is simply my ever-present anxiety. I should probably mention that I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) so even the smallest things can make my mind go into warp-speed. I don't want to blame all of my problems on my anxiety, but it certainly doesn't make anything easier.
I honestly have periods where I don't really worry at all about my hair and then periods like this where I start to notice balding a little more and think of all of the worst-case scenarios.
I guess I'm also curious how some of you guys got over the initial shock people had when they first saw you bald? Specifically I'm wondering how people reacted after you uploaded that first bald profile picture to FB - I'm sure thats probably the first time many people in your social circles will have seen your new look!
In my experience, the comments stopped and bald was accepted as my new norm far quicker than o expected. I found the person that made the biggest deal about it was me. I now regret n shaving sooner. -
#5 by Dragon on 17 Jul, 2017 01:26
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Mate, you have nothing to worry about. Your body shape is fine and your head shape is great. You still have plenty of hair so you dont need to go sly, but if you want, to then you should. If you dont like it, it will grow back. The one thing that you should do is quit the drugs, they are not good for you and could give you more probelms later. As for peoples reactions if you are that worried about it being a big shock then gradually go shorter, buzz to a 3 then a 2 then 1 then no guard then sly. At any point in that process you can stop. What evver you do, do it for you, what you will soon find out is that noone else will notice after a very short period of time, they are also too concerned about how they look to think about how you look.
Be happy! -
#6 by reddog on 17 Jul, 2017 05:31
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When I decided to shave my head, nobody knew I was thinking of going to do it. I had a full head of hair, so yes, I had alot of anxiety before I did it. After the first pass with the clippers, the anxiety was gone. It was finally done and no turning back.
My s/o at the time was shocked, but a few hours later she said she loved it and wanted me to keep it shaved for awhile. That was over 4 years ago. I put a photo on Facebook with the caption "summer haircut". I got about 95 percent positive comments.
Bottom line, if you don't like it, it will grow out to a buzzcut in 2 weeks. -
#7 by slybeard on 17 Jul, 2017 08:28
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What most of us here learned after shaving our heads is that for the most part people just do not care. Yes, you will get a few comments the first few days, or when you run into an old friend, but that is the same with any change in appearance. Some spouses and girl friends object, but you already have a supportive girl friend. There is noting wrong with your head shape and facial hair is not required for a shaved head to look good, and many bald guys choose no facial hair. It is just another hairstyle choice, that happen to be rather popular these days. Good luck!
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#8 by Sir Harry on 17 Jul, 2017 09:19
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Looking at the pictures, it doesn't look that bad. Maybe try a buzzcut first?
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#9 by amatlock2778 on 17 Jul, 2017 09:50
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Most guys worry about their head shape at first, it seems to be almost a natural reaction to the initial thought of shaving our heads. Also the worry about what others, especially those who we care sbout, might think. Especially those of us who are bbc, or who still have enough hair to hide it. For me, being bbc was something i wanted to do since i was in my teens, but i let those concerns get the better of me for many many years. Finally about a year and a half sgo, i simply decided i didnt care about those worries anymore, combined with other events in my life that had me wanting a change, and here i am, bbc finally, loving it, and commited to staying bald till my dying day. I bet you will feel the same once you take the plunge and just shave. But do go with the 30 day rule, as you may have your doubts sbout it at first.
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#10 by Zooman on 17 Jul, 2017 10:25
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If you've been lurking for a while, you probably already know it goes something like this:
I am worried about what my head shape will look like;
I am worried about what other people will think and/or say.
It's completely normal and what all of us sly guys have gone through. The truth is that it's extremely rare for someone to have a really odd head shape, and other than people you know, nobody is going to care that you shaved your head. The people you know will notice and be shocked (because it is a big change), and then they will be used to it (even sooner than you will be - which is why there is the 30 day rule). We are always our own worst enemies and more critical of our own appearance than anyone else will be. If you're not ready to try it yet, just get a shorter haircut for now until you're ready. For me personally, it took closer to six weeks before I was fully comfortable with my new look. Now I can say that I wouldn't want it any other way! Best of luck to you with whatever you go with. -
#11 by wonderbread1030 on 17 Jul, 2017 11:13
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Thanks so much, you guys!
I really cannot believe just how constructive and supportive everyone on this forum seem to be! I feel that I might hang onto my hair a bit longer and then the next haircut I get will be a buzz. I think after reading your comments, it seems that there's a trending belief that slowly working my way down from a buzz might be a good option - I agree.
If anything, I believe my higher hairline and generally thinning hair will become more apparent with a buzz and so by the time I get around to shaving my head, I will have more of an immediate reason to do so.
Then again, I am still quite apprehensive about doing this. I just feel that being as skinny and young-looking as I am will simply make me look like I'm terminally ill or something. - On this subject does anyone here happen to darken their eyebrows/know anyone who does? I feel that with having such light (almost non-existent) eyebrows, perhaps it could help to potentially darken them - perhaps doing this when I first shave my head could be a good time to try stuff like this as most people likely won't noticed the small changes I make on top of my head. -
#12 by Hingatao on 17 Jul, 2017 11:48
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In addition to what the others have said let me add this: why would looking like a bald teenager be a bad thing?
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#13 by Dragon on 17 Jul, 2017 15:43
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Try not to worry, you do not look that skinny, perfectly proportioned. As for tithe eye brows they seem fine from what I can see round the boxes. It's obvious that they are there. Colouring them will just be hassle and may not match your complexion. Be happy in you right own skin.
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#14 by Laser Man on 19 Jul, 2017 19:12
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Take your time with your hair. It looks like you still have a decent head of hair, so just try a shorter cut to see how you like it. My advice like the other guys is to stop the chemicals. They just are not worth the possible side effects. Ultimately you come to realize that there are far more important things than worrying about hair. Baldness has many benefits. That's why we like being bald.