taking life for granted.

[Ghost1988]

while today i had the worst day possible it made me remember something i experienced yesterday at a party that i want to share because of its importance.

yesterday me and 2 buddies went to this guys party that we knew and had a fun time. after chatting it up awhile we noticed that there was this guy sitting on a couch alone. he had really puffy swollen eyes (i thought he had just been beat up or something) but i didnt want to say anything. we were kind of intimidated by him because we thought he was a thug or badass so we left him alone. 10 minutes later we came back and the guy was still sitting on the couch, so my one buddy decided to start a conversation with him. it turns out the guy was extremly nice, and when my buddy asked him why he was sitting on the couch all alone the guy told us that its because he was blind. he said he didnt want to get up because he cant walk on his own without someone guiding him and he didnt want to ruin peoples night by having to have someone baby him. he told us his life story and it made me feel awful. he said he just turned 29 and he lost his sight last year from diabetes, and hes had 11 operations but theres nothing they can do. this guy was awesome. he didnt even let his eyesight phase him. he talked about music, life, and everything in general with us. he was definately a fascinatiing person.

the point im trying to get across is.......when you have bad days its the type of person like this that you need to think about. i get depressed over my hairloss and bitch and moan about it, when in all reality i have an ok life. this guy lives every day without being able to even see it and it doesnt bring him down. he keeps his head up. it just made my heart drop when i saw how this guy went about his business. he needed help for EVERYTHING. 2 people had to grab his arms and guide him just to walk 5 feet, they had to light a ciggarette and put it in his mouth for him, they had to put his shoes on for him, all these little things and he didnt complain ONCE. it makes me feel guilty about worrying about my hair  .

i couldnt imagine only being blind for a year and having to adapt.

this occurence definately touched me.

[SBG Math Guy]

very touching story Ghost.   I remember a cousin of mine had a close friend who turned blind one day while in his mid 20s.   One day after dinner his vision decreased rapidly and he kept saying I can't see.  A few hours later he was completely blind.    The next day he committed suicide.   
Blindness is the most difficult thing to deal with.   There is no doubt about that.  I will say it again blindness is the most difficult thing to deal with if you were born with good vision.   

[Ghost1988]

ya hairloss is nothing compaired to being blind. even if you lose your hair at 10 and get made fun of every day.

that guy handles being blind 10X better than i handle somethin as simple as losing my hair. its honestly pathetic on my part.

[SBG Math Guy]

I guess there is one difference............when you are blind you don't see what others think of you, but when you lose hair and people give you weird looks you see it.    That's what can make hair loss a bigger problem than it should be.   
Hairloss is one of those things that shouldn't be too big of a deal, but at times it is a big deal because one sees how he is perceived by others.   The blind guy doesn't have to worry about seeing people giving ugly looks.
So, looking at it that way, it's not really pathetic to be sad about hairloss. 

[Ghost1988]

true but he cant see ANYTHING ever. can you imagine living life seeing nothing but pitch black? ya hairloss is a problem but what this occurence made me realize is there are bigger problems out there. what if that was me? suddenly i wouldnt give a sh*t about my hair.

and you say "he cant see peoples reactions". yes thats true but dont you think hes self conscious as well. im sure hes always wondering "wow everyones probably staring at me" or "i wonder if these people are wondering why my eyes look so weird"

[SBG Math Guy]

yeah you are right.  I remember there was a yahoo group made for individuals who suffer from side effects they got from taking propecia, which is one  pill a day for rest of your life and you get to keep your hair.
All those people took the pill obviously because they wanted to avoid going through people giving them weird looks.   But then after they saw the pain they got from propecia and that they couldn't get an erection anymore suddenly not having hair didn't matter.   Then it was ok which one do I want ...........erection or keep hair and you know to most men it's easy to choose.   A man who becomes impotent places no value on life even if he has all his hair.   
I don't think the blind guy is thinking about others staring at him.  For blind people, it's more like "everybody is having fun and I wish just for one day I could have that fun".

[Ghost1988]

yeah you are right.  I remember there was a yahoo group made for individuals who suffer from side effects they got from taking propecia, which is one  pill a day for rest of your life and you get to keep your hair.
All those people took the pill obviously because they wanted to avoid going through people giving them weird looks.   But then after they saw the pain they got from propecia and that they couldn't get an erection anymore suddenly not having hair didn't matter.   Then it was ok which one do I want ...........erection or keep hair and you know to most men it's easy to choose.   A man who becomes impotent places no value on life even if he has all his hair.   
I don't think the blind guy is thinking about others staring at him.  For blind people, it's more like "everybody is having fun and I wish just for one day I could have that fun".

ide choose hair lol. either way its a lose-lose situation. if you dont have hair you usually cant get a girl to use your erection on anyways haha.

[Stu]

That's a great story.  Life is too short to worry about hair.  I work in a big headquarters building with an open atrium, and everyday I see too many guys to count who have varying degrees of MPB, and a few smart ones who shave it all off.  I would hazard a guess that in reality, those of us who have hair loss are probably in the majority, at least over time.  We all need to count our blessings, and although hair loss can suck, especially when it begins at a young age, things could always be worse as your story illustrates.

[Paul]

Thanks for the reality check Ghost.   That story is one that I am sure will stick with me for some years to come.  And kudos to your buddy for having the compassion to want to make the party nicer for someone he didn't know .

[StumpyDave]

Good story.
I had a young blind guy work for me for a year doing work experience.  In the end I couldn't keep him on because he just wasn't good enough at the job.  Nothing to do with his disability, he just never got to grips with Tech Support.  If I'd had a job in other areas I'd have loved to keep him.  WHile he worked for me he taught the whole team he was with a lot.  Reading up on blindness and the various support groups I learned that only 1 in 3 of all blind people in the UK ever leave their homes themselves.  Try walking 100yds with your eyes closed and then imagine the level of confidence living requires.

THis lad had a great story about coming out of the pub one night and starting to walk home with his guide-dog.  After a while he noticed that the ground under his feet was soft, like a field and he realised that his dog had gone the wrong way and he was completely lost.  He managed to work his way back to a street and then chose a direction and kept going until he found someone he could ask where he was so that he could get a lift home.

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

Very touching story Ghost.

If I may be so honest, it sounds to me that this guy was a blessing for you, and cured your blindness. Yes, you can see, but he helped you look past your hair issue which had you in a blind frenzy worrying about it. I would think real hard about what all you experienced and learn from it.

Will you still be in contact with the guy? or was it one of those chance meetings that will never happen again?

[Mikekoz13]

Great story GHOST! Please remember this lesson.......

[wpruitt]

I have a good friend who is blind.  He lost his sight as a teen in a car wreck (he had been drinking).  It changed him from a misshapen youth to a now attorney with a wife (a knockout) and two children.  He dealt so well with his blindness that we, on many occasions, forgot it.  More than once, he would have to remind us to help him out of a restaurant (he never carried the dog when we went out).  The most embarrassing was a church retreat.  He rode with me.  As we hit the highway, I handed him the directions and said, "You navigate".  About a mile down the road it hit me what I had done!  Just as I opened my mouth to apologize, he said, "I'm in the dark with these directions."  He made it a point to be known not as the "blind fellow", but the "fellow who just happened to be blind".  I learned a lot from him.

[SlyHigh]

I know a guy who is blind in his early 20s.  He's been blind from birth, but he can see light and some shapes with one eye.  He told us that he is still trying to come to grips with his blindness.  He often doesn't use his cane because of this.  Recently he was walking down the road, without his cane, listening to his ipod (he said it was stupid, can't see, can't hear).  He gets hit by a car, and the girl came out and said "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!"  He said, "I didn't see you either!"  It was hilarous; this guy is a total riot.

He told us about things we take for granted.  He recently got setup to email for the first time.  He got a special cell phone.  It's hard for those folks, but he's doing great now.