Success is walking proudly in the streets with your head up high while being happy and satisfied. Contrary to common beliefs, there are no successful or unsuccessful people, instead there are just people who have the potential to succeed and do things that realize this potential, and people with the same potential who don’t do those things. To me being successful starts with loving yourself and who you are.
You might be thinking that loving yourself might make you arrogant but there is a big difference between loving who you are and thinking that you are better than everyone else. Arrogance is a defense mechanism used by the subconscious mind in order to prevent further criticism. If someone had a terrible childhood and was hurt by others he may develop arrogance in order to prevent further criticism from hurting him. The trick usually works because if someone criticized him he can simply devalue him and assume that he is worthless.
Self love wont only help you feel confident but it can prevent depression too! People who treat themselves in bad way usually ignore their problems until they end up depressed. Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them while others bury them deeply in their subconscious minds or throw them behind their backs. When they do so their subconscious minds usually responds back with depression
You might think that some people love themselves while others don’t but actually there is a third group that hate themselves. Those who are overly critical to themselves, those who carry excessive accumulated guilt and those who lost their self respect might fall under the category of self haters.
So how do you love yourself more? Here are my steps for loving who you are:
- Learn to respect yourself by doing the things that you promised yourself to do and stopping the things you promised yourself to let go of
- Don't be overly critical of yourself or a perfectionist git rid of this bad habit right away, nobody's perfect, so don't expect that from yourself.
- Learn how to deal with guilt, shame and embarrassment in a positive way.
- Build self confidence since self love stems from being happy with who you are and this can’t happen unless you become a confident person.
- Learn how to love the way you look, after all some people hate themselves because they have self image problems. Fix your self image problem and you will love yourself more.
I have noticed that many of the guys who visit this site are dealing with MBP and from this start dealing with self image problems. So here is my advice to those of you who fit this catagory. Have you ever seen an iceberg, even in pictures?? I am sure that the main thing that caught your attention about it was that ninety percent of its mass was below the surface of the water while only ten percent of it was visible to the eye. Same goes for you, ninety percent of you should be invisible, looks are only ten percent of your identity.You are not your looks!!
Moreover beauty is something that is 100% relative, there is no common agreed upon standard for being beautiful, and through time the idea about beauty have changed many times to even extremes of characteristics. So considering yourself ugly may be incorrect. looking good or ugly is somthing that is perspective dependant. Some people may dislike your looks but still others will do, some person may tell you that you are looking good while another person may tell you that you are ugly!! why is that? it just depends on his own background and not on your looks!
Just look at your past; haven’t you ever made a successful relationship with someone without being affected by your so called "bad looks"? Of course it happened before, so why are you trying to convince yourself that you cannot repeat it? Because there is something that is preventing you from being confident while talking to new people, the best thing is to relate this to your looks in order not to feel guilty, a very intelligent trick played by your mind in order to comfort you, but far from the truth of the situation.
Even if you haven't had any successful relationship before, just look around you: Is everyone who is having successful relationships handsome? Of course not. I bet you know one or two other guys who are very successful socially yet don’t look like models!!
Simply put, even if you are not that handsome you could still be loved, be popular and have lots of friends. The only thing that is limiting you now is that false excuse that your mind has chosen to explain what’s happening.
Discard that false excuse today and you will discover that you were fooled by your own mind. I know people who did so and were amazed to find themselves having successful relationships with newly made friends. It's all about what you believe you can do!!!
