A pets diary

• A pets diary by Mike on 12 Feb, 2009 08:57
• Excerpts from a dog's diary:
  
  8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
  9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
  9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
  10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
  12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
  1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
  3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
  5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
  7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
  11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
  
  Excerpts from a Cat's Diary..
  
  Day 983 of my captivity.
  
  My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
  
  
  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
  
  
  The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
  
  
  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
  
  
  There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
  
  
  Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
  
  
  I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
  
  
  The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........
• #1 by Timmay on 12 Feb, 2009 09:03
• NOW that right Thar were Funny LOL 
  
  
• #2 by Mikekoz13 on 12 Feb, 2009 14:02
• Funny!!
• #3 by Ghost1988 on 12 Feb, 2009 14:09
• that would describe my cat perfectly. if only you had pissing all over the carpet too it would be dead on lol.
• #4 by OzPete on 12 Feb, 2009 19:41
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• #5 by Mike on 12 Feb, 2009 23:27
• It is so true though, dogs are just always happy about everything, maybe its because they are so dumb. Then cats are smart and it seems like they are always planning your death. Today is a good example. I was making something to eat and I heard a crash in the livingroom so I went to see what it was and the cat went running past me. The cat knocked a plant over so I was cleaning it up and when I was done I went back to the kitchen and found the cat on the counter eating my food. When I asked her what she was doing she gave me an extra evil look and slowly walked down the counter and casually hopped off like she didnt do anything wrong. It made me laugh though.