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Ah, to be amongst good men... by Dman on 01 Feb, 2009 14:54
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Greetings gentlemen and ladies,
I have lurked here for several months. I have learned a lot; have seen a male community that is noble and contagious. The positive attitudes and support is not something one sees in men, in general. So I am honored to join this community.
My story in summary:
1) 40 years old. Started losing in college.
2) Spent many years on rogaine and proscar. Gave it up years ago believing it was not working and that I was capable of maintaining what was still there. As well, I am an organic, healthy vegetarian, exercise-minded person who doesn't like chemicals.
3) Realized I was wrong on #2 (the first part), and lost a lot after going cold turkey from drugs. You live, you learn!
4) I am building in my mind the excitement of a shaved head, but am still closing the gap of missing how I once knew myself.
5) I am turning 41 in March, and would like to symbolically mark the transition with a good rite of passage:)
6) Things that hold me back:
-My daughter doesn't want me too:)
-External feedback has always been my vulnerability
-Former wife had cancer, went through chemo, still not doing well. I think it could be a lot for my child to take-in another big change that parallels her mom's hair loss
-I have had problems with oily skin, marked face, breakouts. I love the look of a shave head on a small-pored, flawless face. I am concerned about how it will magnify my facial flaws.
7) Feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
Here is a pic of me. I think the pic masks more than is really there.
Request/favor: Is anyone good with a quick photoshop intervention? I would love even a quick mock-up of what I might look like with a shaved head.
Thanks in advance. I feel as though I know many of you. I could likely look at pics of you and say something positive of at leats, the top 10-15 posters. I LOVE Warhawk's questions:) I look forward to establishing rapport.
Blessings.
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#1 by PBurke on 01 Feb, 2009 15:22
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nice intro! welcome to the family!
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#2 by Rob on 01 Feb, 2009 18:27
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Welcome, bro: its good to have you here. I'm sure someone here will be able to photoshop you!
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#3 by R o b 6 on 01 Feb, 2009 18:41
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Welcome Dman. Sorry, my photoshop skills are pretty weak...but if you're wondering what it'll look like, break out an electric barber clipper, or better yet, a Mach3 or Fusion!
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#4 by Dman on 01 Feb, 2009 18:45
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Thanks guys. Your faces and heads are all familiar thus far:)
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#5 by SBG Math Guy on 01 Feb, 2009 18:53
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Welcome Dman. Good to have you. To be honest, I don't know what facial flaws you are talking about.
But for argument's sake, let's say you do have facial flaws. At age 40 such things shouldn't be a big deal.
You should concentrate on the fact that you have a daughter, something many men wish for but cannot get.
Count your blessings bro. As they say there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
When you realize how much you really have you will be very happy. I would think that your daughter would be fine with a bald head as long as you show that you like it. If she sees you sad about it then it would be too much for her to take. But as you said right, look at all the bald heads in this forum, they don't look bad, do they?
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#6 by wpruitt on 01 Feb, 2009 19:17
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...I am turning 41 in March, and would like to symbolically mark the transition with a good rite of passage:)
Great intro and what a way to mark the milestone....I think it could be a lot for my child to take-in another big change that parallels her mom's hair loss
Kids are pretty resilient ... and notorious for not noticing!! Great that you are thinking of her feelings, too. -
#7 by andrew on 01 Feb, 2009 19:54
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Welcome to SBG dman ...
Many of us here know exactly what you're going through in trying to take that big step to do the deed. I made excuses for quite a while myself. My wife was trying to get me to shave it clean for 2 years, yet after being on this site for 2 weeks, I went for it.
My daughter was very upset, at first, but got over it quickly. In fact, now she really likes it.
Do it when you're ready. I pondered every "what if" before making the decision and now realize I was way-over-analyzing the issues. Now I wish I'd done it years earlier ...
Andrew
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#8 by Dman on 01 Feb, 2009 20:06
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Hah! You nailed it, Andrew. Death by over-analyzation.
Well, at least we figured out what my headstone will read! -
#9 by DCdome on 01 Feb, 2009 20:55
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Welcome, Dman!
Good that you take into account how your close family will deal with the headshave, especially given the special circumstances surrounding your daughter and her mother's medical condition.
On the other hand, you have to make decisions that reflect your own identity. A person's hairstyle, no matter what it is, but especially if it is a "statement" style like shaving to the bone, is a form of self-expression. If you are hankering to do it, you should do the deed. You can always let it grow back if you don't like it, but I doubt you will want to.
Your daughter will come around when you continue to show her fatherly affection, but now as a happy and proud bald papa.
If you want, you could start with a tight buzzcut. That's a first step and it may be easier for your daughter to accept. But in the long run you owe it to yourself to shave the dome. Going bald is a great look and a freeing experience that nothing else matches.
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#10 by Timmay on 01 Feb, 2009 22:00
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Welcome bro, glad you decided to join. We need to get this forum fired up again....everyone has cabin fever in my region. Hope you enjoy the site
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#11 by Dman on 01 Feb, 2009 22:36
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I will do my part to bring fire to the table:)
I like your pics better without all that hair, Timm!:) -
#12 by Ghost1988 on 01 Feb, 2009 23:13
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welcome dman
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#13 by Tyler on 01 Feb, 2009 23:22
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Welcome Dman!!
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#14 by Dman on 01 Feb, 2009 23:24
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Thanks, Ghost. And especially to you, Tyler. you run a great community here.