need to be encouraged

[blondtobald]

Hi all,

I am 20 years old and have been balding really rapidly over the past year.  I have known for a long time that I am going to go sly but I keep putting it off.

I know my girlfriend will support me in any decision I make about my appearance, even if she does not like it (except long hair maybe, she really does not like long hair on guys), but I just cannot bring myself to talk to her about my balding.  I know she knows I am balding, it is very obvious, and she is waiting for me to feel comfortable with talking about it, but I just cannot find it in myself to do it.  I am really afraid she wont like it I guess, and I know she wont leave me because of it or anything, but I want her to like the way I look.  I guess if I am lucky she will be one of the girls who digs the sly look.

Did any of you have this same fear?

[champ007]

I can't say that I was worried about 1 persons opinion. I was worried about being able to meet people. I had a couple of women I was dating, but really didn't care what they thought. It was more about me wanting change.
I was really surprise at the reaction of some women, pleasantly surprised. 
This needs to be your decision for yourself. If you want to remove the stress of balding and even boost your confidence level, then go for it.
Your girlfriend should appreciate the fact that your doing some self improvement.

Good Luck 

[Wil87]

I can't say that I was worried about 1 persons opinion. I was worried about being able to meet people. I had a couple of women I was dating, but really didn't care what they thought. It was more about me wanting change.
I was really surprise at the reaction of some women, pleasantly surprised. 
This needs to be your decision for yourself. If you want to remove the stress of balding and even boost your confidence level, then go for it.
Your girlfriend should appreciate the fact that your doing some self improvement.

Good Luck 

I second this!!! 

[time2shine]

Welcome to the forum, blondtobald.
I had the same fear.  I started dating Stephanie back in my high school days, right about the time I began losing my hair.  Like most guys at first - complete denial.  I would not talk about it with anyone, because I figured no one was in the same boat, and the last thing I wanted to do was appear "weak".  In reality, it shows huge strength to be honest with others about your insecurities, and it seems to make relationships better.
Turns out, being open and accepting about being bald and going sly, has turned on my lady even more.  She looks back at me pre-sly, wondering what she saw in that confidence-less person.  6 years ago, I would be completely confused that my g/f likes me better WITHOUT hair.  No situation is going to be the same, but it seems that women want men who can step up, and be confident with who they are, regardless of their physical attributes.

Try talking about it with her today.  Maybe mention that you're thinking about shaving your head.

[warhawk]

hey blond:  welcome 2 the sly fraternity.  glad that ya joined us.  having your gf's support should B encouraging enough 2 shave your noggin.  i promise that U won't regret it.  matter of fact... you'll B thanking us 4 encouraging U 2 "do the deed".  keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.

WARHAWK

[SBG Math Guy]

blondtobald welcome to this great place.
Usually people fear because they don’t know how strong they are.  When you have experiences that involve some fear it gives you a chance to get to know yourself better.  You begin to understand that you are a much more powerful man, a man able to handle things he never thought he could.
Fears will make you stronger in the future.  The fears you have now will make you a greater person in the future.
I am 24 years old and you got to understand that at 20 there is a lot to learn.  You will need to go through fear and stress to become a stronger person.  So don't be harsh on yourself and know that the fears you have today will make you a stronger person for many many years to come.
"I am really afraid she wont like it I guess, and I know she wont leave me because of it or anything, but I want her to like the way I look."
In your words above I understand that what you are really saying is I'm afraid I will not like it and I want to like the way I look.    Do you see where I'm going?   As people point out, we are our own worst critics.  Even if the whole world were to tell you that you look great, there is a chance you will still be unhappy about your looks.
So you have to put that aside, and instead be your own bestfriend.  The first person who needs to like your looks is you.
Ok, let's look at the worst scenario.  You shave it and your girlfriend doesn't like it and tells you face to face that I am leaving you.   Can things get any worse than that?  What happens then?   Let’s say ok you shave your head and after she leaves you you don’t find a new girlfriend for a very long time, let’s say 2 years.    There is an old saying “time heals EVERYTHING”.   You have to understand that the human mind is powerful, that the human mind is able to withstand a lot of things.   You will have the strength to cope with that pain if that situation occurs.  Even if you don’t like your shaved head at the beginning, after sometime you will start liking it more and more. 
I think you need someone to tell you that things will be alright.  So let me tell you that.  Everything will be alright bro.   
Do write to us.  Keep us updated with your situation, and I and the rest of the guys here will do our best to help you.  Good luck and I hope this helps.   

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

blond, the reason my wife talked to me was because i was bald. haha.

im 22, and i know exactly how you feel. i was in the same boat: the S.S. depressed, denial, low confidence. If your girlfriend truly cares about you and your feelings, then she will understand your desire to shave it all off or whatever it might to be to help you feel better. And believe me, its more than just a haircut. Its like your shaving your old self off. It sounds strange, and trust me, its hard to explain. But theres something about it that increases your confidence. And hey, it might even get things going even more for you and your lady too   

[marty22]

I agree with Peripheral.

[Brkeatr]

Welcome to SBG bro !!   

[blondtobald]

Thanks guys!

Time2shine hit the nail on the head I think.  I went through the stages of me being worried about being bald, and got through them, my only fear left over was what my girlfriend would think (we started dating when I started going bald too, although I did not know it at the time).  If I were single I feel like I would have shaved it all off by now, cause a lot of women dig bald guys, but as it is now I do not really care what other women think, but only what my GF thinks.  Anyway thanks for the support, I am going to talk to her about it next time we are together (we go to different colleges so it may be a couple days),  I know she will be supportive, I hope she likes it too.

Thanks again guys!

[BALDANDRE]

I can't say that I was worried about 1 persons opinion. I was worried about being able to meet people. I had a couple of women I was dating, but really didn't care what they thought. It was more about me wanting change.
I was really surprise at the reaction of some women, pleasantly surprised. 
This needs to be your decision for yourself. If you want to remove the stress of balding and even boost your confidence level, then go for it.
Your girlfriend should appreciate the fact that your doing some self improvement.

Good Luck 

Totally dig the new avy Champ!!!!!

BtoB...go for the shave bro..

your life will thank you!