I got problems

[DuffRyder17]

Here is the quick version of my recent history.
alittle over two years ago I met the girl of my dreams.
we dated for a year and half.
I gave her a promise ring, and we agreed that we would get married after we graduated college and when we had the money
Then she we started having some problems/arguments...
shortly thereafter she found some new guy that she thought was more compatible.
Then they dated for 6 months, amidst while I was coping with hairloss...
so after months of despair, I decided to start shaving my head.
I found this website, restored some confidence and began casually dating other women

Then, girl-of-my-dreams decides to come rushing back into my life, because it turns out that the other guy isn't all what he was hyped up to be.

I have already put my other lady friends "on hold"...
I really would love to work things out with My X, but I am both skeptical and scared.

and I don't know why but this whole situation seems to exacerbate my insecurities, I guess I haven't truly found my sly mentality yet.

looking for anykind of advice, words of wisdom, looking for anything really

[Timmay]

Well not sure if this pertains to this situation but you let her go already ..right?  Well what they say maybe true, Let the one you love go, and if it returns they really do love you.    I say give it a shot, seems as though you do have feelings for her.  Nothing is etched in stone until you sign that paper.  What yo got to lose?  your still young.

[champ007]

Well not sure if this pertains to this situation but you let her go already ..right?  Well what they say maybe true, Let the one you love go, and if it returns they really do love you.    I say give it a shot, seems as though you do have feelings for her.  Nothing is etched in stone until you sign that paper.  What yo got to lose?  your still young.

Whoah.... hold that cart there Timmayyyy. Get the horse back behind it.

Duff,
Your still young, and the girl of your dreams would stick around through anything....
The grass will always be greener on the other side... always. Its up to you or her to decide where to graze.
You got your confidence back, you have been dating a few ladys, and you have put them on hold for the girl who decided to graze elsewhere?? 
Here's the deal, put no one on hold and continue to date. Tell the girl of your dreams who grazes elsewhere that you need to see where it goes with her before you jump in a solo relationship. Make notes on what you like about her and what you like about some others that you date, then see how it stacks up.
She is coming back for you, so you need to make sure you lay the foundation on what you really want and see if she can compete. Don't be cocky, just keep the eyes and convo open.
Good Luck Man.

[The Scottish Ambassador]

Keep all your options open buddy. This girl has went off with another guy before. Whats to say she wont do it again the next time another fella takes her fancy.

How would you feel if she did this again to you? Think about if you could handle that.

Good luck!

[Gloss]

Is she one of those girls that has to be in a relationship?

[PeripheralxMvmnt]

ive been through that crap before. save yourself the irritation, the sick to your stomach feelings, and the heartache and just drop her. if she did it once, shell do it again.

[andrew]

I have to agree with the others - that your guard should be up about her doing the same thing again.  I agree with Champ, that you should continue to date others, while dating her as well.  If it eventually progresses to something serious again, so be it, but no reason to jump right back into a relationship with her.

She's probably expecting you to drop everything for her.  Don't give her that satisfaction.  If this was meant to be, there's plenty of time to take things slowly ...

[Ghost1988]

at least you can get a girl being young and  sly man. i know thats not the answer your looking for to make you happier but its true. since i went sly girls dont give me the time of the day and i dont even think im an ugly guy. its just "unnacceptable" to be bald at age 20 amongst ladies my age.

back in junior high and highschool i was a ladies man. then i started losing my hair and started college and ive had NO LUCK whatsoever. i met one girl and she never saw me without my hat on lol. shows how long that lasted.

ive been in the same situation as you man and its hard. everyone heres tellin you to forget ur ex and go for others. its not that easy. you have to REALLY think about it and follow ur heart. also....i recommend sitting down and having a LONG talk with ur ex about what her exact intensions are etc.

[SBG Math Guy]

Hi DuffRyder17,

It is said that experience is the mother of wisdom.  So that girl that came back to you might
appreciate you more than some other girl.  She has seen the other side of the fence so that
can lead her to appreciate you more. 
Nothing to be scared about.   Whatever happens you will get over it.  It happens to people all the time
and they get over it.  Good luck with everything.

[ice4life]

If this girl has your heart, I'd say make her earn you back. Although, since she did come back, she may truly love you, but guard your heart my friend. Because every time you give your heart to somebody, you have less of it for your Mrs. Right. I've finally found mine. So sit her down and talk to her, in a neutral location (so she doesn't try to cut the convo short by jumpin your bones), and she what she wants from you, from the relationship, and also find out what she learned from her endeavor with her fling. Good luck man 

[Timmay]

Hi DuffRyder17,

It is said that experience is the mother of wisdom.  So that girl that came back to you might
appreciate you more than some other girl.  She has seen the other side of the fence so that
can lead her to appreciate you more. 
Nothing to be scared about.   Whatever happens you will get over it.  It happens to people all the time
and they get over it.  Good luck with everything.

You said it better than I did Bald Math....better for her to do it now then after you tied the knot...

[BaldMark]

Well said everyone! Stay on your toes!

[SBG Math Guy]

Hi DuffRyder17,

It is said that experience is the mother of wisdom.  So that girl that came back to you might
appreciate you more than some other girl.  She has seen the other side of the fence so that
can lead her to appreciate you more. 
Nothing to be scared about.   Whatever happens you will get over it.  It happens to people all the time
and they get over it.  Good luck with everything.

You said it better than I did Bald Math....better for her to do it now then after you tied the knot...

Thank you Tim.  We are humans.  We are not perfect so yeah we will make mistakes and experience is the best
way we learn.  What distinguishes good and bad people is good people learn from their experiences whereas bad people don't.     And DuffRyder17 I don't see any numbers but it seems the girl is young, and young people tend to be inconsiderate.  Young people change quickly, and six months later she could be a totally new girl that you might want to keep forever.   

[Gloss]

I hope I don't upset anybody with this post but I think you should just have sex with as many women as possible while you are still young.  Then when you are 40 you can settle down :p.

[SBG Math Guy]

I hope I don't upset anybody with this post but I think you should just have sex with as many women as possible while you are still young.  Then when you are 40 you can settle down :p.

You see the problem is meaningless sex doesn't always make people happy.   That's why they look for a special relationship.   To the majority of people there is no point in a meaningless relationship unless you are a curious person wanting to explore something.   That's why we see a man wanting to be a father and a husband instead of a womanizer.  And just like you said, I hope I don't offend anyone with my comments.  I am not suggesting that womanizing will bring you unhappiness but I'm saying that research shows most people prefer a special relationship with meaningful love.