new guy- my second thread- before and after...

[pharmer]

Well I just read my "stats" to find that in the last ten days i've spent over 5 hours on this forum.  It amazes me how much I relate to the guys on this forum.  I couldn't count how many times I've said to myself "hey, that's exactly how I feel..."  I"ll be honest and tell you that as much as I want to shave my head, I know I"m no where close to living out the phrase "just do it."  Although many aspects of my life couldn't be better (financial, work, family life, etc) when it comes to vanity and caring what others think of me, I'm at the far other end of the spectrum.  Right now I'm just praying that the Lord would give me courage.  I"m in a rut in life and I somehow need to "come clean" to move on.  Thanks to all the guys who have offered support.  You are a blessing.

[pharmer]

One other comment-  Of all of the men who have pictures posted on this forum, I have yet to see a shaved-head that I thought looked bad.  I have yet to see a guy that I have said "man, hope I don't look like him."  I have yet to see a picture of a guy who couldn't get a woman.  Yet, I totally and honestly believe I will be a freak.  It's a psychological issue.  I'm trying to work through it.  Of course, one could make the argument that the shaved guys who looked bad grew their (remaining) hair back and never revisited the forum....

[daran]

Hi Pharmer

I had the same fears and lurked on this site for 1 year before I had a friend who was brutally honest and told me to just shave it.  I have been sly for 6 days now and wish I would have done it sooner.  The reaction at work has been pretty positive.( I oversee 24 stores and word is spreading that I shaved my head) I can't explain the feeling but there is  freedom that comes with shaving your head and taking ownership of your life.  I removed myself from many social events like swimming, skiing, sports, and more because I wouldn't be able to hide my hair loss.   Now I go out and don't worry about it because SLY is my new hair style and it gave me an instant confidence boost.  Go slow and start cutting it shorter.  Good luck

[Mr. Wilson]

Life will be more enjoyable if you stop thinking so much and you just do the things that'll make you happy.  You obviously stress over hair, so change it.  It is scary shaving your head... when I did it 2 years ago,  I must have been in the bathroom for 20 minutes before I actually shaved it all off.  What I did was clip my hair with a #3, 2, 1, no guard (or however they are numbered) and I saw that the shorter my hair was, the less apparent the thinning of my hair became.  So at least take a chance and make your hair shorter.  Just do it!!

[Brkeatr]

Hey bro, everyone has the same feeling before they shave for the first time. They think everyone else looks good but that they will look bad. Just do it and put those negative thoughts out of your mind.....

[Rob]

  Although many aspects of my life couldn't be better (financial, work, family life, etc) when it comes to vanity and caring what others think of me, I'm at the far other end of the spectrum. 

But you'll soon see how the feeling turns around: you might find yourself feeling vain about your new SLY look.  Just cos you lost the hair don't mean you'll look worse: you could wonder how you went for so long without the sly look.  You might find you get even more positive comments from people once you have the new look

[champ007]

Pharmer,
Its kinda cliche but you can't control balding, you can control your appearance and being clean shaven is one definite way.
I was in a rut myself when I found this place, and to be honest I never expected just how much it would change the way I felt about myself. Its a freedom that you will have to experience to see how much the impact is.
I have friends who have a full head of hair and are leaning to shaving just because of the confidence they see in me. Just think about the simple things like fetching the morning paper from outside without even having the thought of, maybe I should throw on a hat for the 1 minute walk outside.
Your hair will always grow back, and most of us wish it didn't 

[Mr. Wilson]

Hey Pharmer,

Have you made any changes to your hair?

[SBG Math Guy]

One other comment-  Of all of the men who have pictures posted on this forum, I have yet to see a shaved-head that I thought looked bad.  I have yet to see a guy that I have said "man, hope I don't look like him."  I have yet to see a picture of a guy who couldn't get a woman.  Yet, I totally and honestly believe I will be a freak.  It's a psychological issue.  I'm trying to work through it.  Of course, one could make the argument that the shaved guys who looked bad grew their (remaining) hair back and never revisited the forum....

Hey pharmer, it's ok bro.  Take your time.  I started shaving at the end of august of this year.   I had the same problem as you, but what happened with me was that I moved away to a different city this august.  So, I thought perfect time to shave and introduce my bald head to people around because these new people will never have seen me with hair.   My only problem with shaving was that I found it difficult to do.  But with the right shaving gel and razor it is a good experience.   Be easy on yourself, but you should know that once you shave you will not look back. 

[pharmer]

Hey Pharmer,

Have you made any changes to your hair?

No changes yet.  But, I appreciate the opportunity to hang around this site.  Let me tell you something, there is no reason for your family to make fun of you.  If I passed you walking down the street I wouldn't think a thing about your shaved head.  And, honestly, if my head looks as good as yours I'll be thrilled.  Personally, I don't hang around negative people.  I know its different when it's family, but I don't hang around people that lift themselves up by criticizing others. 

[Rusty Shackleford]

One other comment-  Of all of the men who have pictures posted on this forum, I have yet to see a shaved-head that I thought looked bad.  I have yet to see a guy that I have said "man, hope I don't look like him."  I have yet to see a picture of a guy who couldn't get a woman.  Yet, I totally and honestly believe I will be a freak.  It's a psychological issue.  I'm trying to work through it.  Of course, one could make the argument that the shaved guys who looked bad grew their (remaining) hair back and never revisited the forum....

I'll be honest and say that I have seen guys who look bad bald.  The first was some guy in college and it just looked bad on him, but guess what?  One time I saw him with short hair and he could still frighten small children.  Moral?  An ugly hairy guy will be an ugly bald guy.

The other guy was actually in a YouTube video I saw the other day.  The guy actually would have looked perfectly OK had it not been for the ears.  This guys ears were huge and sticking out perpendicular from the head.  I've seen guys who pull the look off perfectly, and I've seen ones who look perfectly acceptable (I consider myself in that category), but when I see someone who looks terrible it's always the ears.  That guy in college?  Big ears.

So here's the truth:  You are not an ugly guy and your ears are as flat against your head as they can get.  You don't have anything to worry about aside from a reaction to the shaving process. 



Here are a few tips for you:

1) Try the various buzzcut thing first.  No.  You MUST try various buzzcuts first.  In one post you read you didn't want to cut them because you feared they wouldn't come back, but guess what?  If they have stopped growing then they're going to be falling out of your head soon anyway so you really aren't risking anything.  If you go from long hair to bald you might overreact.  At least give a buzzcut a 1 day chance.  (And besides, it's hard to shave a head without buzzing off the hair)


2) Do you have any warts or elevated moles on your head?  Those do look bad (not dumbo ear bad but bad nonetheless) and they will also be a shaving hazard.  Without a cushion of hair you may even knock them into things more.  I had moles removed from the top of my neck when I was a teen because they'd get cut by the clippers when I got haircuts.  Elevated moles can also become cancerous so why keep them?


3) If you work yourself down to the point that you buzz your hair off without a guard, a razor shave is the only possible next step.  It will feel like a massive jump, but the truth of the matter is no one will really notice a difference.  BTW: The difference to you will be huge.  The sensation of a smooth bald head compared to a head of 80 grit sandpaper is enormous.


4) After shaving your head you'll feel like you stick out like a sore thumb.  Try hanging out somewhere you won't see anyone familiar.  AND DON'T WEAR A HAT!  Doing this you'll see how uneventful having a shaved head really is.


5) After shaving my head for the first time I did not like the feel.  My scalp looked fine but felt raw like a broken blister.  The skin needs time to adapt to having a metal blade abusing it on a daily basis.  Trust me, after some undefined length of time it will feel natural.



Come on, do it!  You know you want to.  And besides, the dark side has candy!

[benmcd]

Hi Pharmer,
I have to agree with everything that is written in the above posts.
The first time I ever razor shaved was on vacation overseas (Bangkok to be exact). It does make a difference when there are no friends and colleagues around to give you the 3rd degree.
I was also lucky as I was back packing around Thailand and I was not Robinson Crusoe with a shaved head, seems to be a style many of my fellow travellers adopted.
So perhaps if you have some time off coming up just do it, and hell...  it's only hair, it comes back, much to the annoyance of some!
It really is no Big Deal, good Luck

[adam_r_todd]

Pharmer:  I'm with the others.  Try it!  It's the summer and perfect trial time.  Have you made any changes yet?

[flatdave]

Dude, you're thinking about it so may I make a suggestion?  www.baldlygo.com   Submit a photo and the guy will show you how good you'll look with the SLY!  I did it, tried it a few times, third time is a charm!  I am so hooked on the SLY.  I can't imagine having any hair on my head right now.  Go on, be SLY!

Dave

[Ming the Merciless]

New to the board, but long time to SLY (via BBC), I will agree that nearly no slick head looks bad; what looks "bad" is the efforts of the balding to conceal the "problem."  Recently saw a chap with newly planted sprigs up front, and a kind of trench on the back of his head, the seedbed of the transplants.  Now that looked bad.  And referring to a previous post dumping on stick-out ears, well those are as genetic as MPB, and mine do stick out a bit, but that's as it is.

Follow the advice: buzz moderate (evaluate; let folks get used to this version of you), and if OK to your mind: buzz more deeply (repeat evaluation), and if OK: down to the skin.  If at this point you think people are smirking behind your back and you hate, HATE the final effect...recall the wisdom that you can back up to whatever stage you want by leaving the dome alone as regrowth takes its inevitable course.