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A thought about insecurity! by samoanseb8 on 14 Oct, 2008 21:16
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I'm generally a guy interested in all areas of life, but I'm particularly interested in psychological processes and the realm of the subconscious. Do you think that men are more worried about losing their hair because typically men are more superficial when it comes to judging a person? I know myself, when it comes to girls in the past, I have been pretty picky about what I look for physically in a girl. But how many average or even ugly looking guys do you see with beautiful girls? My theory is that because men judge women on their looks so often that they often measure themselves with the same stick and it causes major insecurity when something like MPB happens. It was very hard for me when i started balding, as I am only 23, but i have come to the realisation that a shaved head is now just another haircut, and women either like it, or they dont. Just like us guys like blondes, brunettes, big breasts, big butts, you name it. I tend to think girls are a lot less shallow than guys, but I may be wrong. I'd like to hear peoples thoughts on the matter!
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#1 by jrob on 15 Oct, 2008 00:04
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I would say generally woman are less into looks than men. Also would say that bald men are harder on themselves than most women. Some woman don't like bald men, but many woman have no problem dating a bald man. In fact some love the feel of a bald head against their skin, so that can be a huge plus.
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#2 by PowerOfCheese on 15 Oct, 2008 09:17
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Hi Samoanseb, women are definitely less shallow than men thank God. Hair aside, we're all our worst critics. Men, women... Even the most gorgeous people have insecurities. I do agree with your point that men can be more self critical due to our superficial nature. Everything we see, hear and feel goes through our male brain. We can try to speculate how a woman thinks but as long as it's passing through our man filter, I'd imagine the results would be skewed.
I'm not sure I understand Champ's post; Especially the first quote. I don't believe samoanseb was referring to how a women would feel about losing her hair. No doubt it would be a terrible thing for her to deal with since that's far from the norm. Men on the other hand... I'd say it's pretty normal when around 40% of us deal with MPB. Isn't it fascinating how devastating and singled out a man can feel when the hair starts to fall out? Almost half of us will deal with this and yet it can still cause major personal issues and insecurities.
I imagine it was worse being bald in the 80's, not so great in the 90's, but 2008?! How cool is it that sly has just become another hair style? An acceptable and sharp one at that. Funny how the brain works, at one point the beehive was just so hot on a woman and now you'd think they were going to a Halloween party. Bald was for skinheads and Kojak and now I can't turn on the TV without seeing a sly guy. I think we might be underestimating how mainstream the sly look is becoming and how fast it's happening.
Bottom line... We're men, they're women. Mankind would be in serious trouble if the two sexes didn't differ in mate selection criteria. Tonight for dinner I'm having fried chicken without any fear it'll go right to my thighs.
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#3 by time2shine on 15 Oct, 2008 09:23
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Tonight for dinner I'm having fried chicken without any fear it'll go right to my thighs.
Hahahaha.. amen, cheese.
Samoan, that is an interesting thought and theory... and it makes complete sense.
Welcome to the forum! -
#4 by Dome of Steele on 15 Oct, 2008 11:33
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Hey Bro, Those hot women are with the unattractive dude because he's got money or status. Biologically women want a provider, men want to spread their seed. (also beauty is in the eye of the beholder)
Most males care little to nothing about the financial situation or potential for a female.
But I agree that some girls love sly, some don't like it, some are indifferent.
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#5 by marty22 on 15 Oct, 2008 19:10
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welcome from new york!
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#6 by samoanseb8 on 15 Oct, 2008 19:40
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Thanks for all the welcomes! Everyone has made very valid points, I just find it interesting how much it affects people psychologically...My father went bald in the early eighties and he had some procedure done where they moved his hair forward or something, I don't really talk to him about it but now that he is sly, he has this massive scar on his head that follows his horseshoe hairline...i'm not sure if anyone here has heard of such a thing, but apparently it makes it easier to make a combover...but as I was saying, I'm glad that it's accepted now because my old man probably felt pretty insecure to go to a drastic measure like that!
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#7 by Brkeatr on 16 Oct, 2008 05:08
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Welcome to SBG Bro, great to have you aboard !!
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#8 by BALDANDRE on 16 Oct, 2008 12:24
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as I am only 23, but i have come to the realisation that a shaved head is now just another haircut, and women either like it, or they dont. Just like us guys like blondes, brunettes, big breasts, big butts, you name it.
Perfect point bro...
among others you hit on!
The SLY world will benefit greatly from you..without a doubt!
Welcome and keep it shinin' my bald bro!
BTW, bro...girls can be very shallow...
ask any of 'um if they would consider dating the coolest, down to earth dude.... if he was 5'6' and bald...see what they would say!
Don't give them THAT much credit...but there are cool ones out there (that dig a bald dude)...and those are the ones you want anyways!!! -
#9 by samoanseb8 on 16 Oct, 2008 21:39
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Thanks again for the welcomes, Its good to hear from people who know what I am going/went through...When it comes to insecurity and self confidence with the opposite sex, I think It's important to remember that girls are an entirely different species...their brains are wired differently. I know myself when I hit the clubs and bars, I'm constantly looking at girls, my friends and I comment on different girls and their good points and bad points...I'm not going to deny it because it's human nature. Girls are far less inclined to approach a guy based on looks alone, than a guy would a girl. I mean, sure, It can't hurt to be well dressed and carry yourself with confident body language, but generally girls wont start judging you until words start coming out of your mouth. If they like what they hear, they will look at you in a different light. Attraction is a funny thing, because it can be created by any number of things, the more well rounded your personality is, the better your chances!