Rough evening here at the Koz house.... - page 1 -

• Rough evening here at the Koz house.... by Mikekoz13 on 26 Sep, 2008 22:14
• Kind of a scary evening here.
  
  My 11 year old son went to a birthday party for a girl in his class. We didn't know the parents that well but let them take him to Chuck E. Cheese along with the other kids. Now we've met the parents a few times and spoken to them on the phone several other times. I checked them out thru people around town (advantage of living in a small town).  We went to their house, went in and talked to the parents at length.
  
  We were comfortable letting him go because we know 100% for a fact that these people were just investigated by the state police so that they could foster parent three brothers/sisters. (State law here in PA.)
  
   So off he went with them at about 4:30 this afternoon. They told us they would have him home by 9:00PM. We gave them our home phone number and our cell number on a sheet of paper.
  
  So at 9:30 he still wasn't home and no phone call and my wife was getting pretty nervous. By 10:00PM I was pissed....still no phone call. By 10:30 my wife was in tears and I was furious.....STIll no call.
  At 10:45 I called the local Police.
  The weather in the entire area tonight is foggy with thunderstorms. By the time the police arrived at 11:00 my wife was actually frantic and my neighbor had to get her settled down.
  The police took some info and left to go to these peoples' house to make sure nobody was there (I had called three times with no answer). The one officer told me to wait it out a bit longer since Chuck E Cheese closed at 10:00PM and it was about 40 minutes to get home from there.
  At 11:20..... TWO HOURS AND 20 MINUTES LATE... these people pulled up. My son, their two kids, and the three kids they are fostering (my son is friends with two of the  foster kids). I looked closely at Kody to be sure he was OK then sent him in the house. I asked the father if I could talk to him for a minute and he got out of the car (I didn't want the kids to hear anything..... those three foster kids are from town and have been thru Hell you can't even imagine).
  
  So I asked him why they didn't call and I reminded him they told us 9:00 not 11:20. He was kind of surprised I was pissed. No answer.... just a "Sorry". Now I never raised my voice but i wanted to punch this guy right in the fucking mouth.
  
  Were the Mrs. and I unreasonable? I don't think so but give me your opinion guys.
• #1 by warhawk on 26 Sep, 2008 22:21
• hey koz:  U & the wifey were NOT unreasonable at all.  it just shows how much love U got 4 kody.  i'm glad that U were able 2 control your anger & not get physical with that idiot.  i'm just glad that kody was fine.  did he have a good time?
  
  WARHAWK
• #2 by Mikekoz13 on 26 Sep, 2008 22:27
• Mel-
  
  He had a great time. My wife kept hugging him and he knew something wasn't right but we didn't talk about it in front of him. My wife just told him we were really worried about him.
  His response.... "Mommy, they're good people".
  
  Everybody else has been in bed for about 45 minutes.... me, I'm winding down from the whole thing.
• #3 by Timmay on 26 Sep, 2008 22:32
• I dont think you over reacted at all Mike.  That was a good show on irresponsiblilty on their part.  I am sure he was ok, but even just a quick phone call would have been nice.  I would probably let him go again...but I would STRESS that if he tells you a certain time that he will be back at home that he had better hold to it or give you a phone call.  I am sure they were all jsut having fun.
• #4 by GASlick on 26 Sep, 2008 22:50
• He could have called.  i agree with Timmy, the kids were probably having a ball and the parent just let them play.
  He still could have called!  I would have drove over there.
  
  Good job holding your temper.  That wouldn't have solved anything.
• #5 by Kojack on 26 Sep, 2008 22:52
• You probably reacted as perfected as you could have.
  I'd imagine there's more than one guy here that would have pitched a fit at those peoples stupidity. It definitly would have been difficult to keep your cool in a situation like that.
  
  It would have been different if you had just told your kid to be home at 9 and he lost track of time, but jeeze if those two grown-ups lose track of time like that.... doesn't seem like that would be a good thing. I wonder if the state police checked their ability to keep track of time? 
  
  
  
• #6 by Mikekoz13 on 26 Sep, 2008 22:57
• The two local officers that came out were very cool.... and very concerned. They didn't say it but I could see it on their faces. I was a little worried about calling them out after just a couple hours but they assured me over and over that I did the right thing.
  They were this close to putting out a "BOLO" alert..... they stop every car matching the description of the vehicle in order to check for the child.
  
  
• #7 by marshd1000 on 26 Sep, 2008 23:57
• I am not a parent, but I would have been concerned and pissed!  Good job in maintaining composure.  I am sure that a simple phone call asking permission to be late explaining about what was going on might have diffused the whole situation.  But the other parents should have had more of a clue!
• #8 by Brkeatr on 27 Sep, 2008 04:01
• Hey Mike I think you were totally justified in what you and your wife were feeling. They should have called you to let you know they were running late. I would wonder about you and your wife if you were NOT worried !! My kids are all grown but I know my wife and I would have reacted in the same way...
• #9 by Mikekoz13 on 27 Sep, 2008 05:29
• Marsh you're exactly right. If they had called a little after 9:00 and said the kids were having fun we would have been fine with that....no problem.
  
  Sometimes I just wonder what goes thru.... or doesn't go thru .....people's heads.
  
• #10 by schro on 27 Sep, 2008 07:58
• Glad the episode ended without issue. Great to hear your son's comment on the parents.
  However, I'm surprised the parent's only word was "sorry". I would think being 2+ hours late would warrant more of an explanation. I'm certain if the roles were reversed, he'd expect more from you.
• #11 by buuckkweet on 27 Sep, 2008 08:19
• Quote from: marshd1000 on 26 Sep, 2008 23:57

  I am not a parent, but I would have been concerned and pissed!  Good job in maintaining composure.  I am sure that a simple phone call asking permission to be late explaining about what was going on might have diffused the whole situation.  But the other parents should have had more of a clue!
  

  Marsh is exactly right!
  
  Mike, I'm glad Kody is fine and had a good time.
  
  I'm really glad that you and Mrs. Koz made it through this without incident.  As I've said before, being a Mom and Dad can be a tough job. 
  
• #12 by tomgallagher on 27 Sep, 2008 08:59
• As you said Mike, I don't know what some people are thinking. It is just beyond me. I would say that you exercised a great deal of control under very trying circumstances.
• #13 by FR8TRAIN on 27 Sep, 2008 10:06
• First, I'm glad that Kody was alright and that it all ended in safe and peaceful manner. But I will tell you Mike that not calling when running late is a pet peeve of mine. I always have respect for other peoples time and alway call if, for whatever reason, I am running late. So, obviously, I EXPECT the same from others. Now some people would say that by holding others to my standards I will be disappointed, ney, pissed every time. If someone didn't call and also had my child...I would have done the same thing you did. Obviously, those parents didn't have any respect for your time or your trust.
• #14 by hammerdrill376 on 27 Sep, 2008 10:11
• As a parent I would say......no..you were not unreasonable at all and the guys insensitivity to your concerns is absolutely astounding. I don't know I would have hit him but I would have thumped him reallllllllll hard on the forehead for being so stupid.