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Update by Argyle on 02 Sep, 2008 05:11
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Hi Guys,
I just thought i would post with an update on my whole bald situation. I unfortunately and how I wish i was more like some on here have always struggled to come to terms with being sly. Even though i shaved my head for the first time 3.5 years ago. I am not going to repost the things that bother me about it as i have posted them several times on here before.
However I have now come to the conclusion that more drastic action needs to be taken. I have acknowledged the fact that the problem is in my head rather than on it, even though i cannot proclaim to be happy with either situation.
Sooo anyhow, I have decided to take a trip to the docs this afternoon to try and get some answers and some solutions. Not how to regrow hair!! But more how to avoid what I can only describe as cyclical depression even though i have chosen not to admit it until now.
I am embarrassed about having to go, I am dreading the discussion that i am going to have, but really i cannot see any other option. I am simply not prepared to spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that it is ok really when then periodically i obsess and get seriously down about things. I am not prepared to let it have any more of an impact on either my own confidence or the other aspects of my life.
I have also done a little more self anaysis lately. I have been losing my hair for the last ten years or more. Yes it has almost all gone now but it has been going on for ages and I have known it is. However I really only started obessing and worrying about it, exactly when a long term relationship of 7 years ended, i uprooted my entire life and more through luck than judgement ended up with my fantastic, supportive current partner. I suspect that this assocition of timing is a little more than a coincidence and perhaps there are also some other issues to get over.
The time has come for me to admit therefore that I need help to sort my head out, not something that comes naturally to me at all it has to be said, I am a private, generally self assured person, but unfortunately, lately i have turned into almost a recluse, with no confidence, no presence and no self esteem. I need to get the real me out again and I am oh so determined to do it........ I am just not quite sure exactly how - hopefully it will become clear.
I should say in all this that Em, my other half has been extremely supportive.
Not really sure why I posted this really other than because you have always been there for anyone who is going through a tough time. Additionally having been a regular poster i have somewhat disappeared and I wanted to go someway to explaining why that was.
Sorry for yet another long and rambling post (I have a tendancy for that
) But this is really tought for me to talk about, it upsets me to feel like i have no control of this and it embarrasses me to feel so vain when i am not inherrently vain at all. So I suppose this is like a test run, to see if i can articulate what I am feeling properly.
Wish me luck guys and gals as always your support is appreciated and felt.
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#1 by Brkeatr on 02 Sep, 2008 05:27
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Argyle........I think you are doing the right thing bro.....I am not a professional so I do not feel qualified to give or hand out advice in this area....but I think you are taking the right step in finding out why you feel the way you do and wish you the best at the Docs.....hopefully , when all is said and done, you will come away a better understanding of everything that is bothering you ...it takes a lot of guts to share things like that so you definately have the fortitude to come out on top.....best wishes to you and good luck....
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#2 by SLYinKC on 02 Sep, 2008 05:45
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My prayers and best wishes are with you!
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#3 by StumpyDave on 02 Sep, 2008 05:59
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Good luck, mate.
You know that there will always be support for you on here. -
#4 by Mikekoz13 on 02 Sep, 2008 06:02
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Good luck Argyle...... sometimes just talking to someone about what's up in your life can be healing.
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#5 by schro on 02 Sep, 2008 07:20
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All the best for tackling what's ailing you. Like Mike said, talking to someone should be of tremendous help.
Also, the first step in solving a problem is admitting you have a problem.
Good Luck!
Schro -
#6 by Tyler on 02 Sep, 2008 09:47
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Good luck Argyle! You're making the right move in talking to a professional.
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#7 by tomgallagher on 02 Sep, 2008 09:58
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Talk therapy is great. There is a lot of help out there my friend. Congrats to you for reaching out.
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#8 by Paul on 02 Sep, 2008 10:05
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Best of luck Argyle. You are definitely making the correct move. As someone with a family member who suffers from depression let me assure you that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. If you are indeed diagnosed with this condition it is no different than being diagnosed with Diabetes, hypertension, or any other medical condition which requires medical treatment.
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#9 by herronm on 02 Sep, 2008 11:10
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Argyle, depression is just another "something". It is a very good sign that you have recognized the symtoms and have taken the correct steps to get through it. You have my prayer and support.
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#10 by Argyle on 02 Sep, 2008 11:39
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Well as the title of this thread would dictate i thought i would pop back on and provide a further update!!
I went to the docs this afternoon and to be honest explained everything. He has given me the option of some mild anti depressents which i may consider as it may just help to lift the clouds that are blocking my judgement enabling me to deal with the real issues. He has also referred me to a counsellor which should take about 3 weeks to come through. Basically he took the approach of lets try a bit of evrything and figure out what will solve it!!
Finally and what I was quite surprised about was that he suggested that some of my problem may be related to OCD in so much as I fight the urge to go to the mirror look at myslef in contorted angles and convince myself that i am not the most hiddeous being alive!! To that point it has almost become an obsession. He suggested therefore going to see a proper psychotherapist, although there is a 12 month waiting list!! THat is the NHS for you eh? Well anyway, I have decided i think to take the proverbial bull by the horns and pay for it privately to see if it helps! You never know, but not being one to traditionally shy away from a problem i plan to tackle this head on if you pardon the pun!
All in all an extremely tough and soul searching day, but hopefully the first real step in accepting not only the sly appearance but also the sly attitude.
Thanks for you kind comments they really do, honestly mean alot!
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#11 by Bensen on 02 Sep, 2008 12:00
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Argyle, it's great you shared this with us!!
You described it very well and believe it or not, i thought about 5 days to
do a similar post, because my feeling are similar. i was just to hard to find the
words to desrcibe what's going on. (english is not my first language)
I just wish sometimesi could stop to think.
I hope you will find your way!!
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#12 by Ian on 02 Sep, 2008 12:13
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Glad you are getting this sorted Argyle,and i know this won't really make much difference in how you feel,but you look cool in you pic ...
Hope things get better for you
Ian -
#13 by joergHH on 02 Sep, 2008 12:20
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Good luck Argyle!
J -
#14 by Brkeatr on 02 Sep, 2008 12:33
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That's great news Argyle.....thanks for the update and good luck !!