Author Topic: Never ask a woman...  (Read 1256 times)

Offline Timmay

  • Team Sly
  • Sly Nobility
  • ******
  • Posts: 8829
Never ask a woman...
« on: August 23, 2008, 08:55:54 AM »
This one is good

When Grandma goes to court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do . I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'



Offline SLYinKC

  • Life's too short to not be SLY
  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 3033
  • Totally "SLY"
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2008, 09:07:29 AM »
I like that old lady!!! :*)) :*))
<a href="http://www.imagechef.com/" target="_blank"> [img width= height= alt=ImageChef.com - Custom comment codes for MySpace, Hi5, Friendster and more]http://cdnll.img1.imagechef.com/w/080404/samp2e8ccec0733546ef.jpg[/img] [/url]<embed

Offline nomad

  • Sly Beach Bum!!
  • Sly Moderator
  • Sly Bureau
  • *****
  • Posts: 1963
    • Conch Republic Bikinis
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2008, 09:44:40 AM »
ya gotta love the truth sometimes :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*)) :*))
 

Offline Tyler

  • The Count of Sly
  • Administrator
  • Sly Nobility
  • *****
  • Posts: 13409
  • Country: us
    • SILIST - Smitty's Information List
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2008, 12:38:37 AM »
Was that my grandma?
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline Timmay

  • Team Sly
  • Sly Nobility
  • ******
  • Posts: 8829
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2008, 11:13:38 AM »
She did sorta look like you Tyler...she was bald.  LOL

Offline slyinglide

  • Give till it hurts!
  • Ultimate Sly Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 604
  • Work hard, Play harder, Love Often
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2008, 01:05:57 PM »
Who ever said "The truth shall set you free", did not know this woman... :*)) :*)) :*))
I was told to think outside the box, how did I get in the box in the first place?

buuckkweet

  • Guest
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #6 on: September 11, 2008, 05:00:40 PM »
 :*)) :*)) :*))

Offline wpruitt

  • Sly Moderator
  • Sly Nobility
  • *****
  • Posts: 5102
  • Sly!!
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #7 on: September 11, 2008, 09:33:53 PM »
If it has been Georgia instead of Mississippi, I would have sworn it was my Grandma !
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Offline warhawk

  • sly 4 life
  • Sly Moderator
  • Sly Nobility
  • *****
  • Posts: 7615
  • Country: us
Re: Never ask a woman...
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2008, 09:42:19 PM »
hilarious :*)) :*)) O0

WARHAWK O0
Tough times don't last but tough people do!!!