That Depends...

[zzaapp]

Wow, a "How to be successful" forum...  I guess it all depends upon what you consider "successful", and what measure you use for success. 

There are many who would probably consider me a failure, because I "could have been so much more".  Let's see, I failed in my first attempt at college at a "Big Ten" school.  After a few years in a job that I hated, I went back to a smaller school and eventually got my degree, but at that point, I was way behind my peers on my "career track".  I got a job that I enjoyed, and eventually was invited to join the staff at the home office. 

That is where I learned about office politics, and what it took to "get ahead".   I had a manager who got home each night after his kids were already in bed.  He hardly ever saw any of his son's sporting events.  That was his wife's job...  ...he had to advance his career.

In the meantime, I attended almost all of my sons' ball games, band concerts, cub scout meetings, and just plugged away at work.  I really would rather deal with things, than manage people, and because of that my manager decided that there was something wrong with me, that I lacked "drive". 

Well, here I am, approaching retirement.  I drive a Toyota instead of a Lexus.  My home doesn't have an in-ground pool.  I don't go on cruises every year or fly out to Las Vegas for the weekend.  But, you know what?   I know who my kids are.  My wife and I are still close.  Our home is comfortable.  I didn't have to sell my soul to satisfy someone else's idea of what I needed in order to be a success.  I'm happy with the way things turned out, even if I'm not on top of the corporate ladder... 

[Tyler]

That's a great point that you've made and in my world you are very successful!  Success is not always having money and wealth, it's about living life to the fullest. 

One of my biggest drivers is that I want to be able to spend as much time as possible with my wife and daughter.  I want to be able to provide my daughter with the education that she wants, whether that is a prestigious university, art or dance school, or real life U where she decides to run her own business.   I also want to be there to teach her the proper morals and ethics.  Because of this drive, I strive to do things that allow me to achieve this.  I have been fortunate that I have been able to achieve the things I've wanted to without sacrificing my family life and this is mostly due to the fact that I ALWAYS put my family first.  To date, I've never been fired or held back because I have done so.

This reminds me of the following speech:

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit - and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life."

--Brian G. Dyson

President and CEO, Coca-Cola Enterprises during his speech at the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address Sept. 6, 1996

[Paul]

Zzaapp, you sound like one of the most successful guys I know.  Congratulations.

[Brkeatr]

zzaapp.....great message bro.....in my eyes you know the true meaning of being a success in life....

[herronm]

zzaapp, you have it absolutly right.  Sadly, there are too many people who never learned this.  Thanks for sharing a great message with us.

Max

[Mikekoz13]

ZZAAAPP-

You're exactly correct!!! I know a lot of 'successful" fathers that don't even know their own kids. Coaching sports, I see this sometimes.

I remember when I was a young man an older guy I worked with gave me some great advice...... "Don't just be a father to your children, be a Dad".

[Will]

zzaapp hits this one on the head imo.  That's definitely my idea of success.  Sure, making a lot of money is great.  But if you have to leave the people behind that mean the most to make that money and become "successful", is it worth it?  To some it is sadly.  I've witnessed this first hand as Mikeoz had stated.  My own step-dad does it everyday with his son.  He rakes in anywhere from $250,000 to $300,000 a year with the job he has.  But he has to be out of town all week to do that.  If he's lucky he can make it home late on Fridays to try and spend the weekend with his son before he has to get up REAL early Monday morning to head back to work for the week.  A lot of the time though he has to work Saturdays too so he won't get in until late in the afternoon Saturday.  Only giving him about a day and a half to spend with his son.  But the catch is my bro is into football, drama, and has a butt load of advanced classes.  So they barely get anytime together.  Sad.  But I guess that's the difference of being successful to some and not to others.