Dear Tech Support.....

[bmwgsa]

Dear Tech Support:
 
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
 
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!
 
Thanks,
A Troubled User (SEE REPLY BELOW)
______________________________________
 
REPLY:
 
Dear Troubled User:
 
This is a very common problem about which men are complaining.
 
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed.
 
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child-Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
 
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
 
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
 
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstance, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
 
Best of luck,
Tech Support

[bmwgsa]

Upgrading to Wife 1.0

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving few system resources for other applications.

He is also now noticing the Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child-processes which are further consuming valuable resources.

No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the product documentation, though other users have informed me that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself so that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity.

Some applications such as PokerNite 10.3 , Bachelor Party 2.5, and Pubnite 7.0 are no longer able to run on the system at all, causing the system to lockup when launched (even though the apps worked fine before).

Wife 1.0 provides no installation options. Thus, the installation of undesired plug-ins such as Mother-in-law 55.8 and the Brother-in-law Beta is unavoidable. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features my friend would like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0:

---> A "don't remind me again" button.
---> Minimize button.
---> Ability to delete the "headache" file
---> An install feature that provides an option to uninstall 2.0 version without loss loss of other system resources.
---> An option to run the network driver in "promiscuous mode" allowing the the system's Hardware Probe feature to be much more useful/effective.

I myself wish I had decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0.

Even here, however, I have found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 4.0 on top of girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 3.0 first, otherwise the two versions of Girlfriend will have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. Other users have told me that this is a long-standing problem that I should have been aware of. Guess that explains what happened to versions 1 and 2.

To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 3.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another identified problem is that all versions of Girlfriend have annoying little messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0!

VIRUS ALERT

All users should be aware that Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Once that happens, Mistress 1.1 won't install and you will get an "insufficient resources" error message. To avoid the aforementioned bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and " never" run any file transfer applications(such as Laplink) between the two systems.

FYI: Don't even think about a shared directory!!!!!!!!!

[wpruitt]

Good one BMW - going to be sent around to some married buddies

[frostillicus123]

That's awesome I sent it to my Girlfriend 3.0 cause she's wanting to become Wife 1.0 and i don't play that game... now she might understand why.

[PigPen]

Thinkin I shoulda upgraded slowly from Girlfriend 1.0 to 3.0, then went to Wife 1.0

Had a lot of errors and stuff jumpin directly to Wife 1.0 from Girlfriend 1.0

[bmwgsa]

Well, I started with Girlfriend 1.0, and it did one of those automatic self-installing updates and became Live-in-Girlfriend 1.0

Then I went and did something stupid and purchased the upgrade so I would have Wife 1.0; and that's where all the problems began.

I tried  to get Wife 1.0 to run little programs like Cooking 1.3 (which just burned everything), Laundry 1.5 (RED does not go in with the whites), and the worst of all Driving 1.7 (which spawned Ticket 1.1, 1.2, 1.3, 1.4, 1.5 and Accident 1,2, and 3).

After 3 years of debugging, I gave up (mostly because Wife 1.0 started another process called Affair 1.0) so I decided to uninstall the Wife program completely.

I though the uninstall should have been faily simple, but was I ever wrong.

It required the utilities Attorney 1.0; Court-Date 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and Agreement 1.0, 1.1

And just when I thought I had it installed, Wife 1.0 self-started and spawned Pay-All-The-Bills 1.0 which started Small-Claims-Court.

I searched for a utility to remove Wife 1.0.

I finally installed Bankruptsy and I'm happy to report that I haven't seen any trace of Wife 1.0 for many happy years......

[PigPen]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......I love it!!!!!!!!

[wpruitt]

and now to forward to the divorced buddies

[David]

and now to forward to the divorced buddies

should it get sent to the engaged soon to be brother in law?   

[PigPen]

and now to forward to the divorced buddies

should it get sent to the engaged soon to be brother in law?   

I would say that's a definite yes. But I have been told I can be cruel and over the top sometimes too

[bmwgsa]

and now to forward to the divorced buddies

should it get sent to the engaged soon to be brother in law?   

Tell him to learn from the master....

Install the Fiancee program and let it run for a LLLLLLLLOOOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGG time before upgrading to Wife.

Remember than Fiancee (and some versions of Girlfriend) come with annoying programs like:

Father-In-Law (sometimes refered to as You're-not-worthy-ware)
Mother-In-Law (somestimes refered to as interfere-ware)
Brother-In-Law (almost never refered to)
Sister-In-Law (In my case, refered to as "What corner is she working tonight"-ware)

[PigPen]

Run it for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong time...lol