I wish I was dead, never been born, I was somebody else.

[Bolohead]

William

The past is the past, and there is not one thing we can do to change the past.  I did something along time ago, as I had some issues that haunted me from my past as to the way I was treated by my parents to stuff dealing with my ex-wife.  I just could not seem to shake it off, no matter how I thought about it, or tried to deal with it until I remembered something from my teachings in church that I went to.  There was something about the old teachers that did what was called a burnt offering.  I'm not sugesting you offer a burnt offering... but what I did do, was write down EVERYTHING that had plegued me from early childhood to up into and after when I left my ex-wife.  I wrote all this down on a several pages which I believed to be 4 total.  Then I burned it, as smoke rises and does not settle, it was gone.... EVERYTHING that ever bothered me, bothered me no more.

I hope this helps

[slyinglide]

I have read and reread everything you wrote William, and I want you to know that you are not ALONE.  You probably feel that you are swimming in a vast ocean, bobbing around without a life preserver, flailing around.  Your thoughts and fears are not uncommon. All you have to do is open your eyes and realize that there are more people than you could possibly imagine are there to help you get in the boat, and save you from drowning.....But remember this, All you have to do is reach your hand out for help.......Only you can start the rescue process, and its easier, and not as painful as you think....There are several roads to take, but my advise to you is to just start down one of them and someone on that path that is there to help will guide you along the way, but brother let me tell from experience, that first step...having to reach out for help.....swallowing your pride and having to ask for help.....the realization that you can't handle everything in your life....That first step was for me and probably will be the hardest step to take.....But take it....There is alot of good people that are out there to help you....all you have to do is ask.

[J Digory]

I have read and reread everything you wrote William, and I want you to know that you are not ALONE.  You probably feel that you are swimming in a vast ocean, bobbing around without a life preserver, flailing around.  Your thoughts and fears are not uncommon. All you have to do is open your eyes and realize that there are more people than you could possibly imagine are there to help you get in the boat, and save you from drowning.....But remember this, All you have to do is reach your hand out for help.......Only you can start the rescue process, and its easier, and not as painful as you think....There are several roads to take, but my advise to you is to just start down one of them and someone on that path that is there to help will guide you along the way, but brother let me tell from experience, that first step...having to reach out for help.....swallowing your pride and having to ask for help.....the realization that you can't handle everything in your life....That first step was for me and probably will be the hardest step to take.....But take it....There is alot of good people that are out there to help you....all you have to do is ask.

That is some sound advice, and heart-felt.
My prayers are with you, man. I wish I had more to offer, but I don't.