Was I ever really that young??

[StumpyDave]

I've been working with this company for 19 years now.
Someone was digging through some old documentation and found a newsletter with a picture of my team from 1992.
I thought I still looked quite young.  Now having seen that picture I realise that I don't really. 

[GASlick]

I ran across your wedding pictures from 16 years ago the other day.  I told my wife "we look like babies."  Funny how things catch up with you.

Nice x-ray by the way.  Anybody else noticed what's missing?  I won't spill the beans, let 'em guess.

[Razor X]

Nice x-ray by the way.  Anybody else noticed what's missing?  I won't spill the beans, let 'em guess.

Yep ... I'm guessing that's where the screen name came from?  I guess there are worse reasons for coming up with a name like that.   

[J Digory]

Yeah, when I was in my 20s I looked like a teen. Was frightening.
As to Dave's avatar, I think he's called Stumpy for a reason, and it's not because of his peg-leg.

[Sgt. Pate]

Hummm... a phalange maybe? 

[FR8TRAIN]

I ran across your wedding pictures from 16 years ago the other day.  I told my wife "we look like babies."  Funny how things catch up with you.

Nice x-ray by the way.  Anybody else noticed what's missing?  I won't spill the beans, let 'em guess.

Ah, would that be the second digital phalange?

[GASlick]

You got it.  You'd be surprised at  how many people have no idea what they are looking at when they see an x-ray.

[Sgt. Pate]

You got it.  You'd be surprised at  how many people have no idea what they are looking at when they see an x-ray.

Yeah... that's one strange looking foot! 

[StumpyDave]

I can never get socks to fit properly 

I "modified" that in 1984 when I was 19.  Stopped me pickin my nose!

[FR8TRAIN]

I can never get socks to fit properly 

I "modified" that in 1984 when I was 19.  Stopped me pickin my nose!

How'd that happen Dave? If it's not too embarrassing. Otherwise, so us a nice yarn.

[StumpyDave]

It was a stupid thing to do, but I was young and impetuous.........

There was a girl (it's funny how some of the most stupid stories in my life start like that).
We were going camping in south Wales.  Her mum didn't approve of me, but that was part of the thrill of it all.  That morning I was loading the bike up in preparation and needed to lube the chain (you can probably work out where this is going - stop cringing, you asked).  There are several ways to oil the chain on a bike.  One of them is safer than the others, but takes longer.  My selected method on this sunny summer morning was chosen on the basis of speed rather than safety.  After all, the quicker I got this done, the quicker I'd have a warm pillion.
I heaved the bike onto the centre stand and started the engine.  Putting the bike in first gear and easing out the clutch gets the rear wheel spinning a safe height above the ground.  Now ready for action I set to with an aerosol chain lube.  This gets the oil into all the right places quickly.  It does however mean that you get too much on the chain and will inevitably result in a degree of "fling" (and not the kind I was looking forward to).  What you need to do now is wipe off the excess with a rag.
Now even at 19 years old I was not a complete idiot (that came later) so I put the bike into neutral to stop the wheel driving.  All those of you over 19 years old or with a furtile imagination are now thinking "Turn it off, you fool!"
I'm thinking that too, but I didn't.
Instead I grabbed my sacrificial rag and started wiping oil off the chain. 
At this point I was crouched at an inconvenient angle below the luggage that I'd already strapped on.  Added to this, our driveway was on a bit of a slope, so I didn't really have the most stable of stances.
I was bent over, on the left hand side of the machine, with a rag in my right hand wiping the chain, and periodically turning the rear wheel with my left hand (imagine strange across body contortions to reach around the suspension.

Have I already mentioned the slope on the family driveway?  OK.
What about the odd contortions around luggage and strange method of turning the wheel?  Alright.
At least the bike was in neutral even if the engine was running.  What could go wrong?

I slipped.
It was only a little wobble but it was a fairly unstable position. 
My right hand was busy wiping, wrapped in a rag in the chain on a large motorcycle. 
I put my left hand out to stop myself.  Amazingly, I missed the hot exhaust pipe (that was lucky).  By sheer luck I didn't put my hand on the footrest.  By a stroke of fortune my left hand found a firm(ish) purchase that stopped me landing like a clumsy chimpanzee in a heap on the ground.  The firm lever that I'd gripped pushed down slightly engaging first gear with a gentle "clunk".  Honda gearboxes are well made, with a fine tolerance.

Remember the bit about turning off the engine?

Looking back I consider myself quite fortunate.  I had my right hand inside the chain, wrapped in an oild rag.  The well tuned engine never missed a beat and somehow I managed to almost get clear of the sprocket.

I can remember the feal of the chain roller and the smooth inside edge of the sprocket very clearly as I pulled my hand away thinking "that's gonna smart".  Then I looked at the expected cut and torn nail only to be faced with a red sticky end and bit of white bone poking out.
After a few seconds it started to hurt.  A lot.

The worst thing was dialling for an ambulance!
Actually my sister did that.  She then sent me back outside to find the "other bit" which she duly wrapped in tissue paper, placed in a plastic bag and then put that in ice.  The doctor at the hospital took a quick look and then threw it in the bin ("hey, that's a bit of me").



Do you know what hurt the most?
The girl didn't even visit me in hospital!!

[FR8TRAIN]

Do you know what hurt the most?
The girl didn't even visit me in hospital!!

OOOOOOUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHH!!!!!! That sux!

Thanks for the info Dave. I didn't cringe a bit...I just kept shaking my head back and forth...

[StumpyDave]

With age comes wisdom (I hope, otherwise I'm in real trouble).
It seems quite funny looking back on it.

While I was in hospital my dad tried to put my bike in the garage out of the way.  When we rolled it off the stand in tipped over towards him and pinned him against the wall. 

I think that one was like something out of "Christine".

I overheard a friend telling someone in the pub how I'd cut off my finger:
"What, his whole finger"?
"No, the one next to it!"


I'll just get my coat on the way out..

[FR8TRAIN]

I overheard a friend telling someone in the pub how I'd cut off my finger:
"What, his whole finger"?
"No, the one next to it!"


I'll just get my coat on the way out..

Oh, oh, oh!!! Can you get my coat and toss it to me. I'm outta here....

[Marz]

Oh man.... I have lubed my dirt bike chain so many times that way...

I don't think I will do that again now.

Thanks for the lesson Stumpy...

P.S. OUCH!!!!