Guys I Need Major Help With A Girl Issue!!!!

[Pshrynk]

^^^

Some good points.  I think that men and women CAN be friends if the man can douse that flicker.    It's really unlikely until the man has matured though.

Lotsa teens and twenties nowadays do that so called "friends" thing but in reality they're doin it like bunnies just like always.  Friends right now, friends with benefits, friends that I slept with before, friends I might sleep with later, friends my friends slept with, etc etc etc. 

[Tucker-54]

Babb, I agree with your last stuff.

I think i put it before, but what I decided was to give up on the whole relationship deal. I'm not going to text her very much, maybe once or twice a week to see how she is or how she's been (she has diabetes). I'll invite her to exercise or do stuff, but really not care if she comes, and NOT pay for stuff. she can just come along for the ride if she's interested. I'm not going to be mooshy gooshy, sit on the other side of the couch if we watch movies, or keep the arm rest down at the theaters. Its going to be really hard but I'm gonna have to do it.

If she wants me, she can make the moves, sit close to me, call me, ask me to hang out, pay for me...... pretty much if she wants me she's going to have to take on the role of the guy...

lets see how that works. I'm not going to care, as hard as it may be, if she hooks up with other guys.
But the one thing that I wont stop doing is be there for her. Thats just the type of guy I am. I'm always there for any of my friends, and I'd unquestionly take a bullet for any one of them. I'll be there for her, a shoulder to cry on, but be hard to get and not someone to walk on.

[buddha]

she just has a bunch of guys that want to give her the root.

 

Ahhhh Nick, LMFAO, I haven't heard that one for a long time.
BTW, I totally agree with your post. I believe that there is always an underlying sexual tension between men and women "friends".
I disagree with Pshrynk, though, about it being a queston of maturity. I believe that this is attributable to the primitive part of the brain, that reptilian area that knows only fight or flight. It is the part of our manly brain that sizes up other men as potential opponents and women as potential mates. This is part of our "survival" mindset that has enabled the species to thrive as it has with, perhaps, questionable results. Saying that this a "maturity" problem is a '90s way of making a man feel ashamed of his most natural responses to the world around him. Screw shame! We are as we were created!
Tuck, you have made it crystal-clear that you are going to hang in there. Good luck with that.

[nomad]

Tuck...Brother....nononononono!

men and women can be friends but not the way you went about it. you started this off trying to get with her and she knows it. now she's playing you, your the fall back, when she has nothing or no one else to do, she calls her "little buddy" to come and make her feel good and give her something to do. If she ever says any different, she's lying out her a$$. you have got to move on. we may all seem to you to be coming at you rather harsh, but dude it is what it is, gotta be a little harsh sometimes.

I had a girl try to tell me once that I was her friend, I told her that "friends I have, friends I don't need, what I need is a BJ" and I never had to deal with all the BS your going through. sory that just a funny one that did happen to me.

dude just dont let her play you like she is, no matter what you may think or what she might say thats whats happening

[no1birdman]

Hi, I do not agree, you should always be nice, in the end u will always end up with a nice person.Over the years i have seen the best and worst   people and i know who i would rather be with.Look at people u know the bad boys might get 1 or 2 ladies but the nice guy gets more classy ones, do not sell yourself short, be nice and enjoy every second of your life

[PBurke]

check this link out:


http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/85967/dating-secret-exposed-why-nice-guys-finish-last;_ylc=X3oDMTRtc21iZW9sBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjAyMzQzNDQ4OQRrA0RhdGluZyBTZWNyZXQgRXhwb3NlZCAtIFdoeSBOaWNlIEd1eXMgRmluaXNoIExhc3QEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNkYXRpbmctc2VjcmV0IC1leHBvc2VkIC0gd2h5LW5pY2UgLWd1eXMtZmluaXNoLWxhc3QEenoDYQ--

[Tucker-54]

Thank You birdman. I agree with you completely. In my opinion If I'm always nice, I'll eventually find a nice girl.
I don't want to be a badboy and end up with a wrong girl. Plus, I'm not the typical guy that wants to go around humping every thing that moves.
I want to find the nice right girl, and stick her. I mean stick WITH her. ha

[Razor X]

Thank You birdman. I agree with you completely. In my opinion If I'm always nice, I'll eventually find a nice girl.
I don't want to be a badboy and end up with a wrong girl. Plus, I'm not the typical guy that wants to go around humping every thing that moves.
I want to find the nice right girl, and stick her. I mean stick WITH her. ha

You don't have to be a "bad boy."  I don't think anyone is saying that.  Just remember that being a nice guy doesn't mean that you have to let people walk all over you.

[Tucker-54]

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.



^^^^^^^^^ I think Thats what I DID.







He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.



^^^^^ And Thats What I'm GOING to do

Thanks for that site

[PBurke]

and another one:


http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/81390/10-dating-signs-youre-being-needy

[Nick912]

that fricking link is making this it hard to read Paulie! Haha Thats why I took that link down earlier! 

[Tucker-54]

Thats a good one. I only have two of those symptoms

does that mean I'm only 20% clingy?? haha

That guy is a real-life Hitch except not black

[PBurke]

sorry.

[BlackJamesRackham]

PBurke...great links man. And sorry to hear about your wife. Stay strong!

Tucker...sounds like you're going to handle this thing just the way it needs to be handled. Rock on!

[Tucker-54]

Yeah, I think I got it down. Its going to be a rough road but looks like its gotta be done...

Thanks so much guys for all your support!



I didn't expect the topic to get this big!!! ha glad to know I'm loved by someone, even if they're a bunch of old bald guys