All confidence down the drain at twenty years old

[Standgeblase]

Basically, I am twenty and my hair is extremely thin at the top. Hair used to be my "look" but now I'm just in a depression. I'm living abroad from all close friends,and when I left I had really nice long hair. Nine months later, I have bald patches and such. I'm extremely stressed out and I shaved my head very closely,and got tons of horrible reactions. It's nearly making me suicidal, and I can't leave my apartment now. I wouldn't mind being bald at 25 or so, since I know a lot of woman that dig it then, but at twenty, everyone is staring at it every five seconds and I just hate myself. Now I'm going nuts over being bald, 5'8'', money, the girl I'm seeing (she said she liked it short, but I dunno. Girls still have hit on me, but I fear once it REALLY starts going, no girl in my age range will like me), and anything else trivial. I had extremely low self-esteem in middle school, felt great about myself in high school, and now I'm back to my angsty thirteen year old roots. I used to have a nice, confident smile, but I haven't seen it in a long time. I feel like a bat. A hairless one.

Douchey,yes, but I had a lot of girls chasing me,and even though I receive postive attention(alongside a few bad, where each one felt like Satan had just pissed on my heart), I feel like bitin a bullet.

I like the slick bald + emo glasses look, but I just don't have the balls to do it right now. Everyone can see my insecurities, and I don't know how to get rid of them. I'm away from close friends, so they don't know, and I just need some bald brotha love (straight, not gay, but my gay buddy likes his men bald. Confidence booster..?)

Okay, hopefully I'll read this message - if I haven't strangled myself with my mouse pad.

[Razor X]

No one is going to stare at you if you shave your head -- or if they do it will be because they like it.  You might as well give shaving a try -- you couldn't possibly be any unhappier afterwards than you are now.  I'd consider seeking some professional help about the depression and self-esteem issues.  At 20 years old, this should be the most care-free time of your life.  Hair is really not that important; I think there's something deeper than that going on that needs to be addressed.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Standgeblase]

Yeah, I moved away due to the depression and all, and I accomplished a lot of stuff a lot of people would never do, but this sudden shock messed up my good mentality of two years. bleh. Confidence was going well for a while, but there has to be some deeply rooted problem, I know...

And the thing is: 20 years old, and it waaaaaaaas carefree, but now it's the worst time ever.

Thanks a lot for the quick response!

[Tyler]

Welcome to Sly Bald Guys.

What was it about hair that was your look?  It's ok to change and make a shaved head your look. 

I'm confused, did you shave and get horrible reactions or mostly positive?  I rarely hear of someone getting a majority of negative reactions.  Usually the reactions are positive and or no reaction.

If you're abroad, take this as an opportunity to grow while you're away from your friends.  Rock the shaved head and when you get back to your friends tell them how much everyone liked it abroad.  You're living an experience that many 20 year olds can't afford to do.  Take advantage of it and don't worry about your hair.

[Mat]

I'm going through a similar thing, mate. From when I was about 10 or 11 all I ever wanted was to be like my father (what kid doesn't?) so I grew my hair long, and as soon as I could grow proper facial hair at about the age of 15 I grew myself a goatee. Got myself a Harley and away I went.

At the age of 20 my hair's already receding and I have a bald patch up top, which looks stupid with my hair pulled back over it.

No need to be depressed about it, mate. I was feeling pretty down about it myself, but after having looked around this website and seen a load of the pictures on here of bald guys, I can honestly say that every picture I've seen makes each guy look pretty damned cool. I'm feeling a lot more confident about it now.

[HoodooMan]

hey bud,
   i'm 23, and i started balding at about 18-19. it WAS definately noticeable, but i didn't get the guts to shave it until recently. i was also devastated at the fact that i was balding. in high school, i was a varsity pitcher from freshman year on, had offers from several colleges, and got my share of the cheerleaders and whatnot. i had semi-long hair that i LOVED. then it all started falling out. i didnt' know what to do. i spent hundreds of dollars on rogaine, vitamins that promised hair growth, and shampoos. i was a mess. i couldn't go anywhere without wearing a hat. EVER. my hat was my security blanket. i finally said F$%$ and shaved it short with an electric razor a year ago. now i'm completely shaved. there's nothing you can do about it. really you just have to accept it and understand that you would not want friends/girlfriends who are  that superficial that they love you only because of your appearance. noone like that is really worth associating with. be yourself and embrace all the things about yourself that are great, they're there with or without hair my friend. i too understand your depressive state about hairloss, i was there. liberate yourself with a mach 3 and show it off to your friends/family. you can never have your hair back fully, but you can have your sense of self-worth back- FULLY! God bless brother, and talk to your family about your feelings, you need to get them out. life is worth way much more than superficial things like hair.

[Standgeblase]

I was always the guy that would be known for his hair. It was either crazily spiked, or long and shiny. Many girls hated the long hair, but I loved it, and it made me. I was extremely proud until it got too hard to handle, so I shortened it and was notified via everyone that I had a huge bald spot. Everyday. It tore me apart. I just think I'm nearly insane? Not sure. I would go to therapy, but I don't think it'd work well in Germany. They think Americans are insane for talking to a stranger about deep feelings, etc. The last thing I want to do is spend money on Rogaine, and I want to accept this fact of life as my dad and brother have (well, my big bro was also nearly in tears when his thin hair was brought up, so maybe he's still in progress, or on this site).


Oh and thanks for welcoming! I was nearly in a panic attack when I wrote it. Hello everyone, I'm the insane, spoiled ass twenty year old who met reality in the form of a bald spot. 

[Tyler]

It sounds like me you were known as the guy that had the balls to push the edge and have different hair than your typical guy.  Grab your balls and show everyone how bad ass a shaved head can be.  Like every challenge and situation in life, it's what you make of it.

[Standgeblase]

It sounds like me you were known as the guy that had the balls to push the edge and have different hair than your typical guy.  Grab your balls and show everyone how bad ass a shaved head can be.  Like every challenge and situation in life, it's what you make of it.

Aaaah I like that! I think I will pop back into California like that this August! I'd do it sooner, but I have a lil girl that may or may not be fake (damn French) and I want a lil insured-action before I go! Shallow, eh?    Maybe to break it off, since I'll have to despite how much I like her, I'll shave my head.


Wow lotta responses here. Hope everyone's doing fine! Thanks again.

[Tyler]

Aaaah I like that! I think I will pop back into California like that this August! I'd do it sooner, but I have a lil girl that may or may not be fake (damn French) and I want a lil insured-action before I go! Shallow, eh?    Maybe to break it off, since I'll have to despite how much I like her, I'll shave my head.


Wow lotta responses here. Hope everyone's doing fine! Thanks again.

Where in Cali?

[GASlick]

ALRIGHT!  Let me help you out here my man.  I had long hair, it was all one length down to the middle of my shoulder blades.  It had a natural wave to it and my wife "hated" it because it was prettier than hers.  The reason I grew my hair long was to be different.  People knew me and remembered me because of my long hair.  Women would want to brush it and run their fingers through it.  It was great.

Two years ago, after being a longhair for ten years, I felt the urge again to be different.  Time for a radical change.  I SHAVED MY HEAD!!!!  Now I am the guy that is known for and remembered as the guy with the shaved head.  Women, and the occasional guy(not sure how I feel about that-but I am secure in my manhood so it doesn't really bother me) , want to rub my head and can't believe how great it is.  IT IS ALL IN YOUR ATTITUDE!   Yes, people may ask why and yes some people are not going to like it, but it's HAIR!  It's not YOU!

Hope you can take something from my story and help you get through this tough time.  Let me know if I can do anything to help you out man.  peace

[yak]

Great Post Gaslick...

For me it was the realization at about 19 years old  I was going bald.  I had great hair in High School but it caught up to me in college.  I tried to cover it up for a while, then buzzed it close.  It wasn't until going completly smooth that I regained the confidence I was missing.

I was always confident with hair, no problem with the ladies and my social life was great.  Once I started loosing my hair nothing changed other than my confidence.  I wore bandanas a lot to cover it up. 

now I hardly ever wear a cap or bandana I like being smooth, Its been smooth for about 5 years and I can say it is worth it.  Takes 5 min to shave in the shower...no more hair spray, gels, barber visits...

Don't worry Standgeblase life starts at Bald!

[Scott]

First of all man, it's not the end of the world.  Most of the guys on here started thinning in their late teens/early 20's and dealt with some of the issues you're going through.  However, once we realized that there are more important things in life to worry about than hair, or lack of it, it doesn't seem like such a big deal to shave it.  I kinda liked Tyler's advice for you - discover your inner badass, shave it off, and accept it.  I get all kinds of positive reactions from coworkers, classmates, friends, and family to this day and I've been SLY for over a year now.  Life goes by so fast now and you never know what obstacles you might have to face in the future.  What better way to overcome your obstacle with baldness than to embrace it, accept it, shave that dome, and be happy with what you do have.

[ChromeDome12]

A lot of great posts on here, can't hurt to add another one.

I was in your exact same position 5 years ago Stand.  I was 19, in college, and completely bald.  I was suicidal at the time and look back and can't believe how much of my life I wasted worrying about nothing at all. 

People really don't care about you shaving your head or being bald at 20.  They do care when you get all sad and complain about your hairloss around them and act like its the end of the world.  That was my mistake.  Its been said a thousand times here but, its all about confidence.  Build up your confidence over time, dont worry about making a huge personality change overnight.  Eat right, hit the weights, and get your smile back.

Trust me, one day you'll look in the mirror and realize how much you enjoy being Sly.  It sounds far fetched right now and you might doubt that it'll ever happen to you.  But you will, and its the most liberating thing in the world.  Best of luck.

[marty22]

sounds like good advice!