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The road to being happily sly by Argyle on 20 May, 2008 04:27
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Hi Guys,
I have been a member of this Site for around 18 months now I think and check on here almost every day as to what you guys are on about, but I am not that regular a poster. It occurred to me that I personally feel like i have gone through somewhat of a journey over the past few years and knowingly or not this Site has played a large part in that.
When I was about 18 my mates used to rib me about a receeding hairline. At that point I didnt really get what they were going on about, I was confident, strong minded and took it in my stride. When I was about 23 people started to notice me thinning and so as a consequence my hair got shorter and shorter. However I started to be a little aware of the situation.
My MPB I suppose started to bother me when I was 27. I just left a 7 year relationship, and wisely or not got into another one fairly quickly (although she is still my partner and mother of my beautiful daughter Maisie). I didnt realise how hard things had hit me and I went through a really tough time and self evaluation. It was during that time that i really started to pay attention to the fact that i was balding, and it sent me into a whirlwind of neurosis wondering what people thought, analysing every last hair and comparing myself to every bald guy out there. It became an obsession which for a guy who was generally determined to hit life head on, address challenges and take things in my stride, was foreign ground for me.
I can honestly say that coming to terms with my baldness was a long and at times painful process and even now I have moments where i would say i am not quite there (I am now 30). Strangely enough my worries didnt centre around the fact that I was losing my hair, as i could rationalise the fact that it happens and there were plenty of others in my shoes. Strangely enough, my worries centred solely around head shape and the way in which my hair was deteriorating which i perceived to be strange for such a young guy.
The shape of my head, I guess I just hated my profile, slighly square head with one or two lumps and bumps. In terms of the type of hair loss, my hair disappeared fast and I have quite a pointy head so from the side you can see quite a lot of scalp above the shadow, I hated this for ages, and in fact at times still do. Here is an image from a great Site that shows a similar level of hair loss.
http://www.pbase.com/ira_morenberg/image/84531311
However the point of this post and something i have been meaning to post for some time is.......
I dont think i am naturally a sly guy, i suspect given a choice i would have hair, although miraculously this is changing.
For the first time in 3 years recently i actually looked in a mirror and was happy with what I saw, certainly in terms of the slyness anyway! I have started to stop the comparisons and actually enjoy being sly.
What I really wanted to say I suppose is that there are many people on here who are going through or have gone through various levels of upset and trauma and that is in now way unusual or stupid. Many women spend their entire lives worrying about their weight!
As I said though this Site has helped me through some really tough times, even though I havent previously posted that much about them, so I just wanted to say thanks to a great bunch of people, who are supportive, at times funny and predominently insane, or is that just you Timmy?
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#1 by Bensen on 20 May, 2008 05:08
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your story could be mine. I feel/felt pretty much the same.
thx, for sharing your expirience!
it's good you feel more pleased nowadays. -
#2 by Argyle on 20 May, 2008 06:32
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I think it could be many people's. The thing is that it does without doubt get better and you begin to realise, a) how futile it is worrying in the first place and b) that it isnt as bad as you thought it might be!
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#3 by schro on 20 May, 2008 08:15
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I think it could be many people's. The thing is that it does without doubt get better and you begin to realise, a) how futile it is worrying in the first place and b) that it isnt as bad as you thought it might be!
Argyle, big thumbs up!
Your posts are more about quality than quantity!
I feel mostly the same way about my changes. While it sounds you were indifferent about it early on, I was the opposite. I really hated the fact I was losing my hair at a young age. Over time, that eased as I met the (future) Lovely Mrs. Schro. We met when I was 27 and my hair was already in full "abandon ship" mode. At that point, my attitude was pretty non-chalant about my hair loss.
You & I both went sly about the same time (for me, it was 17 months ago, Jan 1, 2007) and my attitude has gone back & forth also. It's truly a bummer that my wife doesn't like it on me and I think that likely affected my opinion of the sly look for me. However, over time, I think it's really grown on me....I'm totally diggin' the sly look
. I think I'd have a real hard time going back to even a buzz cut (of course, my Seborrheic Dermatitis would return if I let my hair grow back OUCH 
).
I think there's a group of SBG's that take some time to get used to being bald. Others jump right in a dig it from Day 1. Sound like you & I are part of the first group. I'm certain others are too.
Enjoy your Tuesday.
Schro -
#4 by Mikekoz13 on 20 May, 2008 09:20
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Great post Argyle!! And a great follow up Schro.
I don't fall into the same group as you guys. Losing my hair never bothered me. I always knew it was in my future when looking at the men in my family. I loved being SLY from the moment the razor took it's first scrape across my head.
All that being said, I cannot really relate to your position, BUT, I admire you for coming to terms wiith the hair loss and dealing with it in what i think is the best possible way.
By the way SCHRO..... you shouldn't doubt the look on yourself...... YOU ROCK THE LOOK!!!! -
#5 by Bensen on 20 May, 2008 10:55
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I wish i could also do more posts that are more about quality in that great forum
(I need to have more english lessons) believe or not, there no similar forums in german!
a long story.
Hey Schro, you really rock the look!! I honestly hope u will find a way to arrange that with your wife. -
#6 by BALDANDRE on 20 May, 2008 11:16
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Nice post Argyle...and you're right a lot of dudes are throwin' into the sly world whether they like it or not...
I'm glad you're seeing how cool a bald head can be!
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#7 by tomgallagher on 20 May, 2008 11:44
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Welcome
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#8 by zetaeffe on 20 May, 2008 12:20
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Great post Argyle!
Even if I'm bald by choice I can understand what you went through and am very happy
you eventually got to like being bald.
Guess it's also cause of the common idea that going bald is an horrible thing,
a big problem, a thing that will ruin your life.... who put it around??
Maybe we SLY guys can help people to understand that balding is natural
and bald is just an hairstyle... -
#9 by SLYinKC on 20 May, 2008 18:19
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Great words, Argyle. You speak for alot of us and express it well.
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#10 by nomad on 20 May, 2008 18:35
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great post Argyle. I did go thru some issue with my hair loss but it wasn't as drastic as some and now that I'm sly there is no way I'd ever go back to being a long hair again.
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#11 by Argyle on 21 May, 2008 13:05
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I wish i could also do more posts that are more about quality in that great forum
(I need to have more english lessons) believe or not, there no similar forums in german!
a long story.
Hey Schro, you really rock the look!! I honestly hope u will find a way to arrange that with your wife.
Perhaps we should all try to speak a bit of German - unfortunately all i can remember from school is how to say, when it is raining i go to school by bus! -
#12 by yak on 22 May, 2008 07:57
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OK, I'll let you guys in a my secret past life! Back in High School and early years of college I loved my hair. I typically always had it nicely done and spent way to much time getting ready---looking back man what a cheeze. I was often referred to as Zack from Saved by the Bell
By about my Junior year my hair began getting really thin, it bothered me for only a few weeks. After seeing a picture of what I looked like with hair I realized it was time....I went home and pulled out the clippers and buzzed it down to 1". I kept it buzzed for about a year before going complete sly.
I've attached the pics for the before after photo, but this post is more about the road to happily sly! After I accepted the fact that I was loosing my hair and then shaved it completely I then accepted who I was.
The way people treat me now is completely different. Instead of being the cheesedick with blonde hair people are intimidated by me which can be fun. My wife when she first meet me was scared of me, I have heard from several that I have an intimidating image but a softy at heart.
Bottom line is I have been sly for several years now, (5 or 6) and I couldn't imagine having hair. I love being bald, I love spending 2 minutes in the shower in the morning to shave it, not going to the barber, and looking like a bada$$ when I want.
Advice is be yourself. Your hair doesn't define you!
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#13 by BALDANDRE on 22 May, 2008 09:21
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Thanks for the pics Yak!
Nice story with them too...you really look better bald...
much more edge brutha!!!
Keep that dome slick and sly bro...I'm sure you've inspired others to do the same!
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#14 by handlebar on 27 May, 2008 23:14
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Great story!!! The sly look is great on you!!
Jim