6 Reasons Why Bald Men make Better Lovers
1. Attention. Men with highly maintained hair have to spend their time and money maintaining that ‘do. That’s time and money a Bald Man would be spending on you.
2. Evolution. Bald Men are the future; the hairy are a dying breed. Hair is vestigial structure lingering from the old days when we didn’t know how to wear layers, heat our homes and stay indoors during blizzards. Bald Men are more advanced, whereas hairy men are more monkey-like.
3. Testosterone. Excess testosterone is a cause of male pattern baldness. Testosterone is also useful in other areas of life. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)
4. Simplicity. This is related to #1, but expanded. Bald Men live simpler lives. Less product crowding up the shelf in the shower. Less effort coordinating schedules around his and her salon appointments. Less time spent getting ready to leave the house. The simpler his lifestyle, the better for you.
5. Confidence. A Bald Man is a confident man. You don’t want some one whose self-confidence is so fragile that they need to stroke their ego by brushing their hair. Don’t waste your time baby-sitting some hairy namby-pamby. Find a confident Bald Man.
6. Sensitivity. The flip-side of #5 is that Bald Men are also more sensitive. Society is always telling us how inferior we are… even if society is wrong. This oppression means a Bald Man is more adept at listening and showing empathy than those guys who have hair.
