new to this..

[gino]

ah where to begin. I started thinning right around high school graduation. Growing up I was a fanatic about my hair being perfect, an when I started college I noticed the thinning so the first thing i did was get rid of the spiked, perfect hair look, for a shorter look, had the barber use a 3 blade, I didnt want my new friends at school to think my hair had to be perfect, so I went for the shorter look. Now at 22, I shave it myself with a 1 clipper blade, It was hard to get used to, Outside of work i generally wear hats, my dad was mad for awhile because my mom got scared when she first saw it, so for the past few months when im at my parents house i always wear a hat. Ive yet to be around my mother with my shaved head. My dad would tell me to grow it back for about 2 months then my sister actually stuck up for me and said its his head leave him alone, so he stopped bothering me about it. When im at work i feel comfortable with my head, because well my dad owns the business and people around me have to show some respect for me. The one thing that really pissed me off at first was my older cousin(who is my dads business partner) who has no hair in the front of his head, and a full head about  5 inches back(any longer and it would be a skullet) he consistently busts me about my head, whenever i walk in a room the first thing he says is a comment about me head, and for someone whos been bald for 20 years, that takes some guts. My reaction when he does that is well im trying to be more like you.I give the impression to people that i can careless about my head, and i really could, but only when im in town at work. my parents live about an hour away where i grew up and when im there i feel weird about my head so i wear hats. I avoid old friends from high school, to the point that i dont even bother talking to them. I really can careless about other people, but i just dont know how to get out of this bubble i feel im in. I avoid so many situations and miss alot of fun times because i do not want to be seen with my shaved head. The only time people im friends with from home saw my head was at a new yrs eve party this yr. I dont know why that night was so diffrent, but i just got ready for the party an went. I didnt even think about my head. I know people noticed, but I drank to the point that i didnt care about other people. Since then i havent gone back home because i dont want to see people again. I dont know what my problem is. Im fortunate enough to be financially secure, thanks to my father, and I have no reason to not enjoy being young an so lucky. It doesnt make sense to me because i can careless about other people and what they do, but yet i care about how other people look at me. I know eventually im going to just get over it and not care how others look at me, but until that day comes i dont know what to do. Any help you guys can give me would be greatly appreciated~!

[Timmay]

Gino...sounds like you just need to grab ahold of your balls and take the plunge.  I am almost for sure if you get out and mingle with your friends you will find most of them will be OK with your look.  I have been shaving now for a little over 8 months and I still get bad comments...but ...the good ones always outweigh the bad ones.  You will gain more confidence the more you are around people.  You dont have to give anyone an answer as to why you shave your head.  Just look at them straight in the eye and say because I CAN, then just look away or change the subject.  Over time you will feel more confident about it and will be able to talk to others about shaving.  It jsut gets easier over time....it just does.  But you have to get yourself into situations where it is going to build your confidence.  Its ok for the first few times to feel like crap and to ask yourself why did I shave my head.  But you know deep inside you want that look.  You will keep that look...and no matter what anyone says will not change the fact that you shave your head.  When I first started being around my friends...I will admit...it was some what embarassing because I have never done anything so extreme to myself before.  First time I got around a large group of friends I think I lasted about 10 minutes and I just left and went home.  It wasnt long I got a phone call from some of them asking me to come back over they were just teasing.    I just told them that I really liked the look and it did sorta bother me at first when they were all laughing and stuff.  Well they all act like they dont even notice it anymore.  I seem to be more of the center of the photos when they all want to take pics...its like hey let all of us get around Tim and take a pic.  Its cool Gino...you will get over that hump..but you got to try. It wont happen by just sitting there on your rump.......get up ..go out..enjoy life...ENJOY THAT SLICK NOGGIN.....You will be fine..im sure. 
See ya Good Luck!
Timmay!!!!!!!!!!

[Paul]

First off gino, welcome.   Secondly, while it can be hard to hear criticism from those we love, it IS your head.   If they truly love you they need to accept you for who and what you are and they need to hear that from you.   And YOU need to accept yourself.  If buzzing down to a #1 looks better to you then that is all that matters.  You are lucky, buzz and sly looks are in for younger guys.  Just tell your critics that you're keeping up with the times, maybe your cousin needs to do the same.

[Stu]

Gino, welcome.  You said multiple times that it didn't really bother you, but it is clear that it does bother you.  It is a fact (although unprovable) that if you're losing your hair, a buzz cut will always look better than a combover or whatever your cousin is sporting.  I would bet a lot of money that your cousin is giving you a hard time because deep down he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't have the ba!!s  to do what you have done -- take care of the problem.  Look around and see how many people are losing their hair, and then ask yourself which ones look better -- the deniers or the ones who don't give a flip and just buzz, or better yet, shave it smooth.  You need to just let loose and stop hiding under the hat.  For the most part you will find that people will have no reactions because they are too busy dealing with their own problems.  You will see that you have been worrying about nothing, and your confidence will increase.  Post up a pic, and let us boost your confidence further.  People, in my opinion, gravitate to people with confidence.

[PBurke]

welcome gino

[Mikekoz13]

Gino-

            Welcome to the Forum. You'll find plenty of support here from the SBG crew.

It sounds to me like you just need a boost of confidence. Wake up one morning, shower, do your shave routine, slap on some of your favorite Lube, and head out into the world saying to yourself "Here i am world, I love the way i feel and look, and if you don't like it...not my problem". Exude confidence......

Back in August of this year I interviewed in another section of my company for a position. When i walked into the interview the supervisor that was going to interview me said "WHOA, they burned the hair right off of him". The other two guys in the room sort of squirmed in their seats. But i never blinked. I just looked at him and very enthusiasticlly said " Yeah it looks great doesn't it!!??

                              It's GREAT to be SLY.........

                                            Mike

[schro]

Deep down, it sounds like you care a lot more about other people's opinion then you're letting on, Gino. I think you just need to be honest with yourself, ask others why it should matter how you wear your hair (or lack thereof), and be happy with your decision to shave it down. Be confident (chicks dig that)! Also, self-confidence is your best defense. Once people realize it's all good with you, it'll be all good with everyone else.

It's not a fun thing to lose your hair at 22 (trust me, I know) but in today's society, the sly look is clearly more en vogue than it was when I was 22 back in 1988 (damn, has it been that long  ?).

Anyway, welcome.
Schro

[Stu]

Good insight, Schro.  It reminds me when my kids intentionally irritate each other.  I have to tell the'victim' that this is happening because they are reacting.  Ignore it, and the instigagtor will stop.  React, and it will continue.

[warhawk]

gino...welcome 2 the sly fraternity.  glad that ya found us.  jump in & join the fun by being an active member of the best site on the internet.   

WARHAWK

[xnewyawka]

gino, welcome to SBG's!, and I just gotta echo my bro's and say just go with it. Get it done and off and you will be so much more free and at ease. It's just not worth the worry and stress. I guarantee you will be saying "why didn't I do it sooner"!

Good luck and get it smooth man!     

[Sgt. Pate]

Welcome aboard Gino!

Like I once heard in a song... "you can't please everyone so you've got to please yourself"! 

I've had more than a little pressure to grow my hair back, especially from my wife.  I've told her and everyone else, you are entitled to your opinion but number one, I didn't ask for it and number two, it's NOT your decision! 

[Marz]

I think Gino has made a good point here.

It is does not seem that he is that self conscious about his shaved head, it is the comments and constant need to volley the comments that come along with it.

Especially in the case of the cousin / business partner.... I have found that a witty reply is great most of the time but when you have someone that constantly makes comments about your bald head it is because they are terribly insecure themselves. I have made blatant comments to people that you can see by the reaction cut deep even though they have tried to play it off.

i.e. Did you gain weight? You look like one of those twins that ride the motorcycles... or, you look like your up to a friggin B cup and your talking about my head? or ... how are those 4 DUI's going, cutting into the child support? There is a point with me when the gloves come off and I am downright mean, I find their weak point and sink the knife right in it. Usually after I shoot back with a little venom, they dont taunt me anymore.

[Tyler]

Gino, welcome to Sly Bald Guys!