I need some help.

[gsxr60097]

I have to admit.  I am one of those persons clinging to every last strand of hair on my head.  I am using rogaine and propecia.  I don't want to but I am so depressed at what losing my hair has done to me.  I know everyone says their head shape is odd but I think in my case its true.  I am 6'6" @ 190lbs and athletic looking with some muscles but I always look skinny because of my height and I have a huge forehead.  I just want to be rid of hair but cannot do it while I am in this chronic depression as it may make me suicidal.  I have a history of this.  I don't know what to do.

[Paul]

If your entire identity is based solely on your hair gsxr, then of course you are going to be depressed.  I am sure that there is a lot more to you, a lot more that makes you a unique individual than your hair or lack of it.   Chronic depression can come from many things, especially if, as you say, you have a history of this.  Seek out help from a doctor or therapist, surround yourself with friends and family who like and love you for who you are inside.  And continue to read and check out various threads here from others who felt down about their hair loss and how letting go of the hair resulted in letting go of the worry.

[gsxr60097]

Thanks Paul for the words.  Right now I am pretty suicidal because of the chronic depression I go through.  I am going to force myself to sleep and call the dr. tomorrow.  I am in pain.
I have friends but I am far away from my family.  I was just reading my journal from 4 years ago and how hairloss was affecting me way back when.  Its unreal.  I need some support.

[dinosaur]

hey man, losing hair can certainly be depressing... couple that with prior depressive tendencies and you have a cocktail for potential disaster.

obviously we're all going to tell you suicide is not the answer, because its true. sometimes life is hard man, you just need to learn to adapt and persevere. the most important thing you can do right now is talk w/ your family and any friends you may have. they'll give you the best advice because they know you the best. second, see a doc and see if there's any medical basis for your depressive symptoms and explore what medicinal options are available to you.

next, you need to disassociate your identity from your hair. i hate to tell you the truth man, but it's not coming back. if rogaine and those pills worked, you wouldn't see many bald and balding men. that said, we've all been thru the "my head is too odd-shaped to be shaved" stage. but more often than not these are just unfounded fears based on scrutinizing your head.  balding happens to many many many many MANY (!!) of us: politicians, celebs, athletes, and even your regular everyday joe schmoe.  but that doesn't mean its the end of life!

we're lucky to live in a society and time where a shaved head is considered by many to be a style. that's important because every year it is becoming more popular as people realize that nature will run its course, so you might as well adapt.

read through this site, almost all of us have gone through the terrifying realization that our oh-so-lovely hair doesn't want to stay on our head. for me personally, it was terrible! i mean, i'm a college student! but you know what? you adapt.

best of wishes and luck to you, good sir. i really do hope you can find a way out of this rut. remember: we're here for help and support every-single-DAY!

[marty22]

Dear GSXR: you're going to have to pull through for your own sanity. When I go into NYC, I can count quite a few taller guys with shaved heads. Put on a little weight and u will look ominous. Skinny isnt bad either.

[jmcmana]

Bro bro bro - you're going about this all wrong, you are the man. You! Not your hair, there's not too much to be afraid of - your guy friends probably aren't friends with you based on your looks, so I wouldn't worry about that. Women on the other hand have this amazing ability to not be shallow i.e. looks is like 6th on their list behind certain things like confidence, sense of humor and ambition.

Your head is not a funny shape either, it's your head. Don't dwell too much on the little nuances of your head. Think about it this way - does a PERFECTLY round head really look good? Imagine if all of us walked around looking like smiley face icons with normal faces- creepy huh?

Now you have some issues you need to work out with yourself, but it's not your hair. Roll with it buddy, you say you're muscular and 6'6 - there's a demand for guys like you out there - I mean look at my picture - I'm 5'6 and there seems to be a demand for guys like me

Take care buddy, skin it -

[Marz]

If you are really this unstable, even if you were to grow a full head of hair tomorrow what would be the next thing to set you off? A breakup? A facial scar?

To realize you are loosing your hair can be tremendously depressing and can eat you alive if YOU allow it.

Life is full of obstacles to overcome... I used to see a guy every day with no arms (gone at the shoulder) take walks with his chin held high and smiled. I bowled next to a young woman (18-20 years old) with a prosthetic arm with a hook on Sunday and she was all smiles and having a great time....

now, I read a post about a guy loosing his hair (like 1 out of every other 4 or 5 guys does) talk of suicide as a result...

I think you may need more counseling than a message board can give. I would encourage you to just shave it off but if it is going to induce suicidal tendencies, your first stop should be a therapist.

[schro]

Couldn't agree more, Marz.
Hey GSXR, We're just a group of guys that have come to grips with our male pattern baldness (or the select few that are bald by choice) and are in no position to dispense medical/physchological advice.

If you're thinking about "offing" yourself, you clearly need more than we can provide.

In the meantime, take the advice of Paul, Marz, jmcmana, marty and dinosaur.....cruise around the forum, check out the posts & info.
Lots of good stuff. We have fun, joke around, but are also here for support.

Good luck.

[baldrev]

GSXR, everybody here has given you good advice. We all understand and have gone through our own need to come to grips with hair loss. We're here for you.

You know the Buddha, another bald guy, said that the problem is, most folks can't come to grips with the fact that there is all kinds of suffering in the world. If they could just understand that and then let go of it, things would be much better. Dinosaur was right, it probably isn't coming back. Let go of the idea that you are a non-person without hair.

Please, please, please, go see someone to help you get out of this depression. The world is diminished without you and so are we.

[warhawk]

gsxr... i hope that U can get some help and battle your depression and your thoughts of hurting yourself.  it really gives me a "bad chill" when someone has thoughts of hurting oneself.  i hope that U can find effective coping skills when life brings U an obstacle.  however...THE BEST WAY 2 jump over the mpb obstacle is 2 just shave those strands off.  i mean....c'mon....don't U wish everything was that simple.  MORTAGE PAYMENTS, credit cards, auto loans..... HOW I WISH I COULD JUST GET MY FUSION OUT AND SHAVE THOSE BILLS OFF....life will B sooooooo friggin' GRAND!!!  gsxr...i wish U much luck and i will B praying 4 U.  please....get help so that U can get out of your depressed state.

WARHAWK

[Tyler]

gsxr, you need to talk to a doc like a lot of guys have said.  AND when you do talk to this doc, you need to let them know you are taking propecia because propecia is known for causing depression.  So, obviously propecia is not something you should be taking if your prone to depression like you say. 

I nor are any of the guys here doctors, so it's best if you go get professional help.  Just remember, there are thousands upon thousands of guys that have been in your situation and live high quality lives.

[Mikekoz13]

GSXR-

          Please see a professional. We can offer words of encouragement but we are not what you really need.

                      You will be in prayers my friend-


                                                       Mike

[gsxr60097]

Thanks for all the words of encouragement.  I am feeling a little better.  Goes up and down.  Its just I have an unemotional girlfriend that really only takes.  By nature I am a giver.  So this is bothering me also.  I have quit looking in the mirror and that seems to help a bit. 
I set up an appointment with the dr but it is on Monday.  I just need to do some soul searching until then and let some things go.

[Koaa2]

I used to work with a guy who was a double below the hip amputee and in a wheelchair. Whenever I would see him I would ask him how he was doing and he would always respond, "Can't kick". I always got a smile when he would say this and it just proved how well humans can adapt to their situations if they choose to.

Shave you head and go sly. You are probably more in demand than you think, and I bet the women would like your new look. It's not about the shape of your head or how much hair you have it is about how you see yourself with whatever you are given and make of it.

[xnewyawka]

gsxr, I gotta agree with all my sly bro's. It's not the hair that makes the person. The person comes from inside. First thing you have to do is work on where the depression is coming from, and like Tyler said, the propecia is not helping. It also sounds like you are in a bad relationship since you are with someone who is a taker. You have control over all of these things. You have to dig deep and see where you want your life to go.

I say start by shaving your dome, gain that first bit of control and I guarantee you will feel much better off the bat. Work on other aspects in your life. Join a gym, work out and eat healthy, take care of yourself first. Don't worry about things you can't control.
I know you can pull yourself out of this and be strong.

And like the others said, we are here for you.
Good luck, bro.