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Do you like to please people? If so, it's probably holding you back from shavin by Tyler on 21 Jan, 2008 02:28
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Here's an article that I just wrote on how pleasers, like myself, can end up doing things, like not shaving your head, because it pleases someone else, but really isn't the best long term decision.
http://www.slybaldguys.com/serendipity/archives/174-Do-you-like-to-please...l
What do you guys think? Anyone else here a pleaser? -
#1 by warhawk on 21 Jan, 2008 04:42
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What do you guys think? Anyone else here a pleaser?
hey ty....i enjoyed the article, good post btw. reading your article....i'm definitely a "pleaser". thankfully...it didn't affect my decision 2 shave my noggin' because the wifey encouraged me 2 do the deed and supported my decision 2 go sly. i'm looking 4ward 2 reading from the other sly brahs on this topic.
WARHAWK
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#2 by joergHH on 21 Jan, 2008 12:34
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Hello Tyler!
Good article.
Yes I'm a pleaser. It's just as I am. I know people who can "piss off" others have often an easier life. But we others are learners. Hope dies last.
J -
#3 by Marz on 21 Jan, 2008 12:55
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Wow Tyler... this site never ceases to amaze me.
I am a pleaser in a big way and I have had a hell of a time with it effecting my life negatively. I end up trying to please everyone and find myself in the middle very often. Actually when I went home for Christmas I had tons of issues with being pulled in many direction and felt no matter what I was letting people down.
When it comes to things like shaving my head or getting tattoos or any thing that is personal to my body, mind etc., I dont have a problem... It is when people need me or want me to do something thats when it gets messy. I am super loyal and reliable and I feel that alot of times that is taken for granted or taken advantage of.
Although there are the times that being a pleaser is a good thing.
Good article... thanks. -
#4 by Razor X on 21 Jan, 2008 13:51
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That one hits close to home. All I can say is that eventually, the desire to shave your head outweighs everything else and you just have to do it!
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#5 by Tyler on 21 Jan, 2008 14:25
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Marz, I know how you feel when you get put into those situations where multiple people need your attention at one time. It can really cause you to go bonkers trying to figure out how you can make everyone happy.
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#6 by Medic aka Rocko on 21 Jan, 2008 14:51
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I sometimes have to tell my wife and three kids to take a number. I can't help everyone with something all at the same time.
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#7 by Scott on 24 Jan, 2008 22:45
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Great article Tyler. I'd say I'm a pleaser as well - always wanting everyone else to be happy.
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#8 by Mikekoz13 on 25 Jan, 2008 05:03
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Fellow SLYSTERS-
My feeling has always been that you have to please yourself first. This may sound selfish at first, but a closer look will let you realize that it not only isn't selfish but it's important.
Think about it this way...... suppose there's something about yourself you don't like..... let's say your shrinking hairline. You decide to go SLY but don't do it because the wife, or Mom & Dad, or the guys at work, wouldn't like it. So you continue to walk around with the ever shrinking hairline obsessed with the fact that it looks bad and is getting worse all the time. So you make everyone else happy but you're still miserable..... which in turn will eventually make those around you miserable.
But if you go ahead and go SLY you feel better about yourself. When you feel good, those around you feel good.... you sort of drag them into your positive energy. So by pleasing yourself, you've made your life better for yourself as well as those around you.
Remember though......... pleasing yourself isn't the same as always putting yourself first. that is a different animal.....
Disclaimer: Using going SLY as an example was due to the fact that nearly all of us here can relate to this example easily. The fact that you go SLY doesn't necessarily mean that your life will be all kisses & cupcakes. Some who go SLY may experience feelings other than those of the majority on this site. Pregnant women and children can go SLY with no side effects. No hairy people were hurt in the making of this example.
Mike
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#9 by Timmay on 25 Jan, 2008 07:02
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Marz, I know how you feel when you get put into those situations where multiple people need your attention at one time. It can really cause you to go bonkers trying to figure out how you can make everyone happy.
[/quot......
.................................ehhh not me....I just bend over.....lower the red and whites a bit.....and tell em all to kiss it...!
Yes i am a pleaser too...I would rather make someone else happy instead of getting involved in a confrontation.......when its face to face. On the computer though....different story..either I just ignore you...or I give you my two cents worth...if its worth that. Guess I need to learn the chatroom rule....If you cant say it to someones face...then dont say it all. We all have our faults though....so there. -
#10 by PigPen on 25 Jan, 2008 08:13
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I have a tendency to try and please everyone. Except when it comes to me and my personal appearance. You don't like it? Keep walkin' Jack ya don't have to look.
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#11 by WannaBePadre on 26 Jan, 2008 18:15
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Yep ... count me in as a pleaser.
I stopped being sly my first year of seminary, and then realized I didn't want to fake who I was.
Been sly ever since. -
#12 by PigPen on 28 Jan, 2008 13:22
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Reminds me, last night the wife made a comment about shaving her head. Told her, OK. She responds with "Yeah right, you'd freak out" I said no I wouldn't it's your hair, do what ya want. Then of course she talks about me growing my hair back. Then I tell her, do you know why I do this? This gets me the deer in the headlights look. Because I want to. I like it and that's all that matters.
She changed subjects quickly.