Confidence and how to get/have it

[David]

Let me preface this by saying this all comes from personal experience.   This is a personal story.

There once was a little boy named David, who was just like any other other kid on his block.   He loved to ride his power wheel, play sports and just have fun.    But something was different.   This little boy had epilepsy and cerebral palsy.   With his epilepsy David was born to a few random seizures where everything would just go black.   And his cerebral palsy left him with less strength/motor skills on the left side of his body.     David's parents didn't know what to do.   But they did the best they could.    He had therapists come to his house day after day for years helping David improve his left hand coordination and the range of motion in his left leg/hamstring.   

Some of these exercises were very painful, especially stretching young David's left hamstring as far as it could go.   But it worked and that's not all David had to endure.    David had to wear a brace on his left leg for a long time to improve his strength/range of motion in his leg.    Even to school.   The same kids day after day asked David if he was in a car accident.   It didn't bother david to have to explain his conditions, but it irritated the young lad.   

However, did that stop David from having fun?   No way.   David played baseball and basketball until he was almost in high school.    Sure he may have had it rougher than a lot of kids, but David knew it could be worse.    When David would go for his regular doctor checkups, he saw boys and girls his age with the same conditions, but much worse.    Their faces looked strange and they had virtually no control over their actions.    David vowed to be a role model for people with disabilities, and to not let his disabilities stop him from achieving his dreams of making a mark in the world.     He figured out in junior high that while he loved sports, his athletic prowess would not take him to the top.   So he studied.   And studied.   And then the A's came.   Oh did they come.     David graduated high school in the top 5 percent of his class with a 4.4 gpa out of 5(being honors a's).   Not only that, but David was homecoming king his senior year and spent four years on the varsity baseball team as the student assistant.   He also helped the football and basketball teams his senior year, and became dare we say popular by the time he graduated.

With the rules in Texas, David could get admission to any public state university he wanted.    As a kid, David noticed many of his relatives were aggies(may god help their poor souls) and wanted to be different.   He also loved the underdog, and UT was getting beat like a drum by A&M when he was a kid.     Thus, he was always a Horn at heart.    To seal the deal however, in David's junior year of high school, David, his dad and David's best friend and fellow horn fan, went to Austin to see the Horns play Rice.    David saw the 80-90,000 fans at a game vs Rice, plus all the other great athletic programs at UT-Austin, and knew it was the place for him, with his passion for sports and all.

David studied hard(but not too hard) in college, and graduated from UT-Austin in May 2005 with a GPA of 3.73 out of a 4.00 scale.    He has a degree in broadcast journalism, and is a certified journalism teacher, who will be taking a certification test in 8-12 social studies saturday.   With his love of sports, he will also coach a sport someday.  David also became a Christian his senior year of high school on a trip through a youth group called young life(his baseball teammates got him reenergized in church his sophomore year), and has since been a youth leader and now an awana leader and has no plans to stop anytime soon.   

The lesson in all of this is to be self motivated, and to believe in yourself.   If you do those things, nobody but you and the Lord can stop you.    Confidence comes from knowing who you are and not letting anything get you down.   If you don't believe in yourself, others won't either, and you won't be successful.   If you do however, the sky is the limit.


Edit: Here are the lyrics to the song nothing else matters by Metallica, one of my favorite bands if not my favorite.    I think this song illustrates how I feel about life, and how we all should.

Nothing Else Matters Lyrics
by Metallica

So close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

never opened myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words I don't just say

trust I seek and I find in you
every day for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

so close no matter how far
couldn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we are
no nothing else matters

[PBurke]

Bravo Bravo. damn david that is an awesome story. i was born with spina-bifida. ( a very mild case ) and had to be careful about doing certain things. but what you have been through and emerged as you have is an inspiration. will you come to my house and get my kids to quit whining about little crap. haha. keep it up brudda. great story.

[Tyler]

Great story David!  I'll post up my story (very similar) tonight when I get home.

[Tyler]

Ok, here's my story about confidence.  It's long, but bear with me.

Like David, I was also born with some challenges.  I was born with a congenital heart defect similar to Tetralogy of Fallot.  Basically, by the time I was four I had a hole in my upper-left ventrical and my pulminary valve didn't work correctly so it would allow oxygenated blood to mix with un-oxygenated blood.  This caused me to be blue as a baby.  On top of that I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck.  The crazy thing is that lightening struck at the exact time I was born.

So, what did all of this mean for me?  Well, when I was four I couldn't walk to the end of the block without getting winded.  That's when I had to have my first open-heart surgery.  This isn't a big deal nowaday, but when I was born there was a 2% chance of surviving that type of surgery.  When I was four there was a 95% chance.  The first surgery consisted of patching the hole in my heart and replacing the pulminary valve with a pig's valve.

After that I was a pretty active baby and my parents treated me like a normal kid (very important!).  I played baseball, football, raquetball, and waterskied all from the time I was 5.  I started snow skiing at 7.  When I was eight years old I had outgrown the pig's valve and had to have a homograft (human's valve) put in.  This lasted me about 4 years and I outgrew that and had to go in when I was 12 for another replacement.  Though, when they were doing the preliminary tests they found that I had blood being pumped into my lungs, so they had to go in there and tie that off.  I then came back 6 weeks later to have the valve replacement. 

Since then I've lived a fairly "normal" life.  Though, my parents never treated me any different than any other kid, there was always that constant reminder that I was "different" from classmates and when looking in the mirror.  I always had this notion to doubt myself in various situations and never was as aggressive as I should have been.  This really started happening when I got to Jr. High. 

Then high school came and things started changing.  My freshman year I knew a lot of seniors and older classmates through family friends.  The best part of them was that most of them were considered that hottest girls in school.  Because I was always hanging out with them it was just assumed that I was "popular" and I pretty much got thrown into that arena.  As weird as it is, looking back this helped me become more confident in myself and I started asserting myself.  Did this help with the ladies?  Not really.  I was a late bloomer, but we'll get to that later.

One of the problems I was having though is that I had not matured as fast as other classmates physically, so I my baseball skills didn't keep up with the other kids.  This was hard because I had always been one of the top players on my team.  I also come from a family of successfull athletes, so I felt I needed to live up to that rep.

Right after my freshman year I went to a baseball camp where I met two amazing coaches.  I did this because I didn't even make a city league team.  I was devastated.  All confidence was lost.  Though, these two coaches showed belief in me and my skills and started taking me under their wing.  They worked with me my sophmore year and made the city league the following year, but couldn't make the school team.  I worked harder and harder, determined to make the varsity team as a junior.  I had played fall ball and started to see that my skills were beginning to equal those of my peers.  I came close to making the team, but no go yet.  But this whole time I was building more confidence through hard work and results.  (Still not much of a ladies man) 

Finally my senior year came.  I had gained some confidence through my raquetball.  I was starting to become really good and was getting sponsors from winning tournaments.  But baseball was where I wanted the recognition.  I played fall ball to get ready for the tryouts in the spring.  This helped build some confidence going into tryouts because I was the starting second baseman and lead off batter for the championship team.

So, now the tryouts were upon me and this was my last chance to make the baseball team.  I had spent hours and hours a night hitting off the tee, taking grounders off a board in my garage, taking throws down to second from my buddy who was the catcher, and doing anything I could do to make myself better.  Tryouts were fierce!  There were three guys trying out for second base.  One had made the team the previous year but was second string.  The other was the starting second baseman from the JV team the previous year.  I went balls out!  The coach kept making cuts and I kept being asked to come back.  The final cut came and I was sure that atleast one second baseman would be cut.  The list was posted on the coaches door the next day.  I was soo scared to go look, but I wanted to be the first one there so I knew if I should stay at school that day.  I got over there just as the coach was posting it.  He looked at me and just walked into the office.  As I walked up I was sure I hadn't made it based on his look.  Then I saw it!  My name was on the list!  I had made the team!!!  I was so happy that I started crying.  All the work had paid off.  I then had to compose myself because all of the other guys were coming to check out the list.

It was weird, but that moment was a huge turning point in my life.  I started becoming more agressive and the confidence was building.  I showed up to practice later that day and it was awesome the way it felt to be welcomed to the team by guys there were already my friends, but there was a noticable shift in how they looked at me.  There was even more confidence building that occurred when I found out that I would be the starting second baseman the first game.  I had gone from a guy that didn't make the city team to someone that started!  I had overcome the odds of my health and all the people that had told me I should focus on sports that I was "naturally" better at.

No too long after that I started dating a college girl who had done some modeling, Fredricks of Hollywood being one of her best shoots.  But it was weird, I was confident, but I still really worried about what others thought.  I didn't have that "I don't give a crap what other's think" attitude that some of my other friends had.

I then showed up at college after a summer of making the American Legion team and travelling around CA, NV, and OR playing baseball.  One of my first classes was Econ 101.  In this class we were required to read a book called Winning Through Intimidation by Robert Ringer (Now called To be or not be intimidated).  Reading this book changed my life completely. 

There was two theories in this book that really hit home.  The first theory was the "Ice Ball Theory" which basically states that in 2 million years the earth is going to be an iceball and no body is going to care what you did or didn't do on Earth.  But, even one year, or one month, or one week, or even one day from now most people will not remember what you did or didn't do.  They are too worried about themselves.  The second theory was te "Boy-Girl and Better Deal" theory which basically states that every person wants what they can't have and doesn't want what they can have.  Meaning, if you play it cool with the ladies and act like you don't care if they want you or not, they'll want you. 

I don't know why, but these two theories basically gave me the confidence to go after anything I wanted and get it, well most of it.  I first started out by "faking" the confidence, but after a short time it quickly became REAL confidence.  All the sudden I was dating all the girls that I had the desire to.  I mean, we're talking the hottest girls at the college and usually 2 to 3 different ones a week.  I was no way the best looking guy, but it didn't matter.

I then was able to get a better job.  I got a 4.0 my first year of college.  I turned down the college baseball coach when asked to play on the team.  I transferred to one of the most prestigious universities on the west coast.

Since that time, I've been able to go after everything I wanted.  Did I get it all?  No, but it just made me go back and start working towards something better.

So that's my story on how I gained my confidence.  I told you it would be long!

[Tyler]

Hey guys, share your stories with us on how you have gained confidence in the past!

I forgot to mention that shaving my head also helped me boost my confidence.

[David]

That story is really cool, Tyler.

My turning point confidence wise was junior year of high school.   I had spent two years as the varsity student assistant and when I walked into school first day junior year, I had the swagger I still have today.   It was as if I knew it my time and I was ready to be a leader(definitely a vocal/emotional one).    A large part of it was since I was the student assistant on the baseball team, I had connections to athletes which made it easy to have confidence.

Senior year, everything exploded.     We had our welcome back dance, and this was around the time the "dirty bird" dance(falcons end zone celebration) had taken off, and Nelly's "Country Grammar" was a popular song.    Anyways I went to the dance and danced like I never had before, and my fellow students loved the dirty bird especially.    Suddenly at practice, or at lunch, my friends asked me to do the dance.    Sometimes I was thinking it was odd and wouldn't do it, but usually after a little prodding I did.   So a few weeks pass, and I continue to oblige requests.   Well it's time to pick homecoming king/queen nominees.    The announcement is made at the homecoming pep rally.  At the pep rally, they alphabetically announce the nominees.    They go down the alphabet to V, and I hear my name called.   Oh my what a rush!    I did the "dance" of course, and I got the loudest reaction of any nominee.

Then at the homecoming dance, they announce the winner.    And despite feeling good about my chances, my stomach was all butterflies.   It was ME! of all people, me.     To this day, all my friends call me V-train, or train, not David.   I got stopped in the hall even after graduating with someone saying Hey V-Train remember me?

It was one of the best memories of my life.   The only thing that is like 1b is my sophomore year we met up with the number 1 team in the area, state and nation, the Bellaire cardinals.   We got to play in the astrodome for our 3 game series.   Bellaire had been beat ONCE all season.     Game 1 was on a friday, they smoked us.   Game two was lunchtime saturday.     On the bus ride up there, I randomly started singing a pump up song I was listening to, and guys asked me to keep doing it.    We won game two and mobbed our pitcher on the mound.    I even was on the news(we all were).   Game 3 was after a short break and Bellaire won, but what made that win so sweet was there was a kid on the bus days up until the series who kept trashing the team saying we had no chance to win.    I had a newspaper with bellaire's national ranking in it, and after he started running his mouth, I threw it out the window.   Vindication is sweet, I tell you.

Shaving my head also gave me confidence i'll admit.     I had never had such a physical reaction to a haircut in my life.    I will never forget that 1st time when I had my hair salon shave off the odd remains of my hair.    As hair was coming off and falling to the floor, I was getting a real chemical(and physical) positive reaction in my body.   It was a sensation I had never experienced and that made me think this was meant to be.   Then I saw how good it looked at home, and I knew it was.    Since then, I don't worry about others thoughts, and I love telling the story.

Another plus.   This past week while at a japanese restaurant(I like sushi) I ordered sake for the first time.    I was not asked for ID.    That was the first time that has ever happened, and I know why.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's amazing how what can seem like little events in one's life can be so life altering.

[Robmeister]

The lesson in all of this is to be self motivated, and to believe in yourself.   If you do those things, nobody but you and the Lord can stop you.    Confidence comes from knowing who you are and not letting anything get you down.   If you don't believe in yourself, others won't either, and you won't be successful.   If you do however, the sky is the limit.

This is a great synopsis, David.  Your whole story is great...and well-written.  That Journalism major served you well.  But that synopsis paragraph ROCKS for anyone to benefit.

Tyler, nice...I like where you said you faked confidence.  That is actually a principle touted by the top positive thinking gurus.  When you're facing an amazing challenge...maybe in a new endeavor or area with a great learning curve to be surmounted, they say even though you're scared and intimidated...maybe even shrinking from the daunting task ahead....be confident by choice, not feeling.....be enthusiastic by choice, not feeling.  "Fake it 'till you MAKE IT"

Let me share a great website.  It's a top success coaching company.  They have all kinds of success and motivation products ranging from individual CD's to full on success seminar workshops.  But what I've utilized consistently for over a year now is...you can sign up for a free daily motivator by email that is way more that your typical little quote of the day.   Anyway, to find out more go to   www.ThinkTQ.com   and brouse around.  It really is a top notch company.  And I've plugged into a lot of success/motivation programs.

[Lex Luethor]

One word: hookers

After a few dozen women tell you you're insanely hot and ask you to stay beyond your hour, you start to feel like maybe you are.

[chadoweasel]

One word: hookers

After a few dozen women tell you you're insanely hot and ask you to stay beyond your hour, you start to feel like maybe you are.

I have a migraine and I still laughed at that.