in a rut

[bulls_fan]

alright guys. I know confidence is key, but i don't think i have it. Everytime the weekend comes and my friends go out to a bar that has a certain dress code, no hats, i just say i'm not feeling well and don't go. I'm not ashamed of being bald but I just can't help to think what others think. And it's driving me insane. I used to not care what anybody thought. Around people i don't know i could care less. It's when i see people from high school who haven't seen me in a a while where i get is guess insecure. Any ideas on how i can get over this or is it just something that'll come with time? Thanks.

[Razor X]

I can remember feeling the same way.  All I can say is it does get better with time.  I think it's just something you have to push through.  Force yourself to go out.  It's a little awkward when you run into someone who hasn't seen you since you shaved, but once that initial meeting is over with, the feeling tends to go away.  Eventually you see that no one else really cares whether you have hair or not.

Keep visiting this site -- I know it's always been a great help to me when my confidence has needed a boost.  Hang in there.

[JDog]

Bulls_fan.  What I can say to you honestly and truthfully is that if you dont have confidence in how you look and feel, then this will reflect with how other people see you.

So why didnt you used to care what people think? Was something different within you then that allowed you to feel more confident and more secure? I tell you brother, being bald shoudl certainly not give you those feelings and if it does, as a young man, it may take some adjusting to but sooner you will learn to walk with your head held high knowing you are the baddest mofo in the valley.

As human beings we are always going to have things that cause us to feel insignificant or maybe not measure up to the next guy in the room. That is part of life. There is always someone stronger, better looking, smarter. As a Sly Bald Guy , you should always know within yourself that you are embracing your true self and if people around you arent feeling you, then tell them to get F***ed, pardon my language

I think in time bro that you will know what I am talking about if you havent known it already. When you walk into a bar, Think to yourself "Every girl in this joint wants my number, now who is the lucky one that is going to get it"

[BALDANDRE]

I think you just gotta do it bro..

I wish ChicoD was around now to answer that for you...the guy was young, in the miami nightclub scene and hatin' life...

wasn't sure how a bald head would do with girls...

the dude scored more than ever!!!  It changed his life for the good...

Just go bro and remember this... almost ALL dudes hairy or not are just fakin' the confidence in those situations...

FAKE THE CONFIDENCE.... till you get it for real!

Don't blame it on the bald head bro...you're a good looking dude, girls will dig ya..

probably over the other clowns in the club...

Go out and show your bald head off..it will one day be real!

[BALDANDRE]

Good words Jdog!

[JDog]

Hell Yeah BaldAndre, ChicoD is the man. The stories he relates how becoming Sly changed his life with the laydays is truly inspirational stuff.

[BALDANDRE]

Hell Yeah BaldAndre, ChicoD is the man. The stories he relates how becoming Sly changed his life with the laydays is truly inspirational stuff.

Hey Jdog...like the new avatar ...you look nice and extra bald and extra clean..almost shadow-free and totally bald!

and losing the stache....... !

[JDog]

Thanks BA! I think it was the camera angle got the good midday sun reflection off the melon, diminishes the shadow.

I lost the 'stache because the better half wont kiss me when I have it.Priorities you know!

[Phil Man]

Dude, let me tell you something. As a young guy myself, taking it all off is the best decision I ever made. I have to admit that in the beginning you will regret it and even lose confidence in how you do things. This is normal! Its a pretty big change that we go through and caterpillars do not morph into butterflies without that awkward in between phase where they feel vulnerable. We are pretty much the same way.

Think of it this way, did you use to worry about what they would think when you were losing it as well? I think that after that initial awkward phase where they get to know the new and better you, you'll find that you'll be MORE confident and will have more things focus on now that you've freed yourself from worrying about what they will think of you in the long run.

It comes with time my friend, and once it comes you'll never look back

[Alexander215]

Thanks BA! I think it was the camera angle got the good midday sun reflection off the melon, diminishes the shadow.

I lost the 'stache because the better half wont kiss me when I have it.Priorities you know!

Shave mine for the same reason lol

[Tyler]

bulls_fan, there's a book I read once that changed my life in regards to confidence and I think you should pick up a copy.  It's called To be or not be intimidated? That is the question by Robert Ringer.  I'd give you a link to Amazon, but in reality you should just go buy it at your local book store.  They should have it. 

The book has some very simple theories that it imparts on you like The Beauty And The Beast Theory and the Iceball Theory.  If you buy it and read it and have any questions, just let me know.

[bulls_fan]

Thanks guys. This place is great. Nothing but genuine responses. I really appreciate it. It's a great feeling to have people to talk about this with who've gone through it. Being a big reader, i'll prolly go and pick up that book. Just right after i'm done reading Rant by chuck palahniuk. Whom i highly reccomend. He's the guy who wrote fight club. his books are twisted but a daaaaaaamn good read.

[BALDANDRE]

Thanks guys. This place is great. Nothing but genuine responses. I really appreciate it. It's a great feeling to have people to talk about this with who've gone through it. Being a big reader, i'll prolly go and pick up that book. Just right after i'm done reading Rant by chuck palahniuk. Whom i highly reccomend. He's the guy who wrote fight club. his books are twisted but a daaaaaaamn good read.

Glad to hear it does help when we rant on about thing here!

Sounds like some good reading from both you and Tyler...and remember to do the simple thing...

take OFF the hat and let your bald head shine...let everyone get used to the new, more aerodynamic YOU!

THAT will help a lot!

Take care my bald bro!

[dinosaur]

i know how you feel man... it's easy to talk about confidence and feel confident in the safety of your home, but as soon as you step into the real world with your clean head you really are put to the test.  sometimes i'm a bit worried that people might think i'm a skinhead/druggie/tough guy when really i'm none of the three -- i'm just a happy-go-lucky dude with a bald head. but i tell ya what, those kind of thoughts will destroy your esteem. 

the best advice i could give you is ditch the hat and show off your head. after all, it is the real you! i know it's difficult, similar to jumping in cold water or public speaking, but you'll feel sooooo much better when you do cuz you wont have anything to hide. eventually the novelty of it will wear off and people will get used to it.  that said, from your pic i can honestly say that if i had seen you somewhere during my "should-i-shave" stage i probably would've been envious at how well you pull it off ("i would love to shave, but there's no way i'd look as chillin as that guy ")

i believe it was baldandre who said "fake the confidence - until you get it for real" this is sooo true.  i mean, we often look to others to evaluate ourselves, how we're perceived and such, but in reality we can personally influence how others do perceive us.  if you're cool with yourself, then others will be cool with you. if they aren't, then you should be too cool to care.  i've only been sly a few days, but i've found it easy to bring it up myself "yo, check it out -- i shaved my head!" .... which has been met with "wow, looks sharp" and "oh, clean shaven did you shave today? do you hafta shave everyday" or whatever. haven't had anything negative yet but i expect if i ever get a "why did you do that?" i'll respond with "uhh, obviously cuz its.. awesome! (and i know you're jealous/want to touch it)"

[ar3inc]

bull fans you already got a geat amount of advice that will well cover you to get out of the rut.  I can only offer one other source that may appeal since he has a lot of videos done in a great way.  check out Neil Strauss site http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=48124294  look it to his vid blogs.  last thing which  is the most important, and to keep it simple I have to steal from Nike, Just Do It!  good luck brutha.