Another classic Carlin bit.
I know...there's a ton on youtube to post here....but this one made me spew my coffee....and I've seen it many times.
<![CDATA[<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/P36OipYLt4w" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/P36OipYLt4w</a>]]>