22, Balding, and need some advice

[Dimiakira]

Hi Guys,

First of, right off the bat, great site. Reading some of your stories is really insperational.

Guys i've been starting to bald at the age of 20. I'm turning 23 soon and its starting to be noticable. I consider myself succesful for my age. Have an excelent job that pays quite good and have worked really hard to get to where i am. I always felt that i had to get where i am the hard way as i am a high school drop out.

When i started getting my bald spots it thought everything was going to be taken from me.  I work in a corporate enviroment

For the last 2 years its been really hard to accept my baldness but i think i'm finally starting to accept it. The hardest thing i ever had to do. I want to turn SLy. I just need a push.

Anyway...just a few questions guys before i say goodbye for good to my curly locks.

Im petrified at how i will be percieved as it is a huge image change

1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter

2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL

3. Do your friends perceive you differently

4. Does your quality of your life decline.

I made a choice today that this will never ever determine who i am and that i would stop worriying about it. i figure the only thing more unnatractive then a bald man is a insecure bald man. Please give me so hope there is life after baldness.

Any advice will do




 

[SLYinKC]

Welcome, Dimiakira,  Glad you've joined us.  You've certainly come to the right place for support and advice.  We've all been there and have experienced the  feelings and questions that you have right now.  I think you'll discover that how people perceive you will depend on the confidence that you portray.  The first few days always seem a little uncomfortable with the nervousness of  finding out how people will perceive you.  But in the end, the nervouseness is always overblown and less of an issue that we perceive it to be.  SLY is very mainstream and does not mean you will have to change jobs or anything.  Many of us work in a corporate business environment.  I'm a CPA and have not received any negative feedback from either clients or coworkers.

In the end, you need to go with what you really want to do.  I believe that SLY and smooth is the best option.  And, as we always say, it will grow back if you don't like it.  Best of luck.

Rick (SLYinKC)

[Chico D]

1. I have met and accomplished more with women than when I had hair.  Since shaving, my success with women has at least doubled.  You start forgetting you ever had hair, and realize how much more to life there is than hair.  No lie, I have hooked up with girls that gave me no play before, when I had hair.  It might have to do with the fact that women percieve me as daring for the cut, plus the boost in confidence I've had since shaving it.

2. Your work life will not suffer at all.  If anything, I've noticed I get more respect now from people.  A different kind of respect.  I mean, take a look around.  There are tons of sly dudes in the corporate world.  Hairloss is a part of life.  Shaving it is the bravest, cleanest, and best looking solution.

3. Most friends didn't tell me anything.  Some joked about it a little, just at first.  But you might have to put up with the initial joke, then after that it is all back to normal. Trust me, I still got all my friends, all my girl friends, and they still call me just as much to hang out.  No difference at all.  You need to shave it to realize it.

4. Swear to God, my quality of life has improved.  Shaving my head head was a major turning point.  Consider it the complete removal of an insecurity. 

The rule though, give it 30 days.  You might feel a little unsure at first, and might worry here and there.  But after that 30 days you will be solid, strong, and sly.

Read all my posts from beginning to end. You will see our thoughts were very similar. And you will see the conversion.  Message me with any questions or concerns.

[PBurke]

dude, just go for it. you will be more confident and it will show proffessionally. and with the lay-days. give it 30 days and see how you like it. i would bet you love it.

[X The Hierophant]

I am not even balding and I wouldn't go back to having hair. 

1. I am married, so I can't really help with #1 as attempting to meet women would get me into trouble 

2. I also work in a corporate environment and have no problems at all.  I mean what could be more clean-cut than sly?

3. I got a lot of comments when I first went sly (and my in-laws still nag me to grow hair back) but I just don't care what others think that much to be honest...

4. no.  Quite the contrary.

Good luck.  Go sly. 

[schro]

Welcome to the site.
You seem like a pretty confident guy, and the questions you ask were similar to what I had, except for the fact I'm married and met my wife when I had semi-coverage up top. Reaction to my choice to give mother nature the finger has been nothing but positive. In fact, I was out with two of the other SBG's, and got a head kiss from a young hottie  (well, she was young to me, given the fact I'm 41).

Like SLY inKC, I'm also a CPA and have had nothing but compliments from my new look. The corporate world (like all other walks of life) accepts the bold statement a SLY look makes.

My friends perceive me no differently, I'm still a goof. However, I'm a goof with a much higher level of self confidence.

Quality of life is much higher. I'm less self conscious about my MPB (male pattern baldness) and love going around town without a hat.

Bottom line, there will be an adjustment period ("What have I done?"), but you'll quickly grow to like it.

Cheers,
Schro

[Professor Melon]

  Ahoy, Dimiakira: Welcome to the site. You've found the right place. A year ago SBGs helped me make my own decision to go sly--the first time I used the computer to decide anything of importance. The guys have already given you some great advice. I'll try to address your questions in order. I am happily married, so I cannot say whether going bald will help you play the field, but I CAN say that it rejuvenated my relationship with my wife, who supported the clean, forthright, adult, and bold look from the start. She has not for a moment regretted the loss of what was already not worth keeping. Second, my image as a college professor has been, I think, ENHANCED by the bald look, which can now be found not only all over academe but also in the professions. And, no, you do not as a bald man have to restrict your career to security, the army, etc. where the bare dome is traditional any more. As to the perceptions of others, two points: 1) your perception of YOURSELF is more important than theirs; and 2) from experience, only family and long-time friends may give you--temporarily--grief. Parents do usually dislike the look. As RazorX has suggested, it tells them that you are no longer a kid and that makes THEM feel old. Over all, the quality of my life markedly IMPROVED when I started shaving my head.  Anxiety declined; expenditures on pills, sprays, etc., disappeared; the need to believe in an illusion evaporated. But give yourself time. The first couple of weeks are shocking. Time and developing skill with your razor will quickly overcome this. When I had been chrome-domed for eight months and well adjusted, I fell and gashed my head. The wound required 15 stitches to close and I could not shave for ten days. They were truly miserable and made me realize that I had become so identified with the bald look that I could NOT wait to resume it. Every guy is an individual, so you'll have to determine your own time frames. Chico D's words are most apposite. If you did a pole on the site, you'd find that VERY few of the members who have tried head-shaving have abandoned it. I think there was ONE in all of calendar 2006/2007. Let's hear from you, about your decision, and do not let balding blight your young life. All best, Professor Melon

[-Doug-]

1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter.
Happily married so I can't really speak to this. My wife does like it though.

2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL
I am an administrator for a school system and haven't noticed and negative effects since shedding my hair.

3. Do your friends perceive you differently
They joke around with me more, but that's ok.

4. Does your quality of your life decline.
On the contrary, I think my QoL has gotten better. I am more confident since becoming sly.

Like everyone has said, just do it and give it 30 days. You'll probably like it. If you don't, it's only hair, it will grow back.

[BALDANDRE]

Bro..listen to everyone...it's the truth!

You hate your insufficent hair...THAT'S keepin you down bro! You're life will improve and even be much better!

Chico is your age ...listen to him! He is living LARGER than ever..

Go for it, read up...,shave your head and go life an even better life!

[Marz]

I think all these questions can be summed up with:

A balding man desperately trying to cover it up produces;

1. A lack of respect
2. Difficulty to be taken seriously.
3. A sign of insecurities that could run much deeper.
4. A lifestyle revolving around vanity and hair care. (it sounds silly but it is true)

These factors WILL effect every question you asked. It is not your hair people are interested in, it is YOU.

Letting your hair (or lack thereof) control you is much more obvious to others than you may think.

Honestly, when I see a guy with a comb over I naturally recognize them as insecure and this effects my judgement of the person. 

Taking control of the situation is something that commands the opposite reaction.

When you go sly you are essentially saying, "I was loosing my hair like 49875394873 other men, but took control of the situation, done." or "Yeah, I am bald... so?"

Now, which person would you want as your CEO, Friend, love interest, etc.?

[Ian]

I started going 'thin' on top at about 21/22ish & heres my answers for you (i'm 34 now)

1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter I think you dont worry about things as much,before i shaved it (buzzed) i was aware of people looking,after i just felt free

2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army ) LOL No i dont think so,i work in retail & deal with customers face to face every day,it acceptable these days

3. Do your friends perceive you differently maybe at first you will get the odd comment or poor joke but people just get used to it & it become YOU

4. Does your quality of your life decline.NO WAY...its loads better over the years i have gained so many extra minutes in my life not having to wash/dry/style my hair,it really is the best thing ever

I hope this helps a little,along with all the other replies you will get

Ian

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

Okay I know Im still not qualified to really reply to this but I thought I would give it a shot   

I am 24, I have MPB as well, I started losing my hair when I was 15(receeding though very slowly), at 22 it started to thin, it took me to 23 to buzz it after a year of low confidence and stressing about how much scalp could be seen, etc.
   To be honest I was not getting as much attention as I had previously got before my confidence went due to the thinning hair.
   
After I buzzed it I get checked out alot and this is me being honest, its done my confidence a world of good, I dont worry about my hair getting wet and looking thin, I dont worry about the wind, I dont worry about sweat.  Its probably not the look of the buzzed hair that is getting the attention, its probably the fact that Im confident again!

  I know I have only buzzed it down to a 3(and keeping it there, for the last 5 months or so) but I like it and so do women, one of my friends gfs is trying to convince him to have his hair like me     

   I know what Im going to do in the future and that wont be to wear a wig, a combover or get hair sewn into my head - I am going to shave my head, WHY? Because it looks good, but I am still loving the novelty of a buzzed head at the moment.
 
 If you are worried about how you look then consider this.....if you think you will be ugly without hair then you must think you are ugly with, it does suit everyone, I suppose it is all about having the balls to do it.

  My recommendation would be just to buzz it down gradually, I cant really tell by your photo but Im guessing your talking about thinning so I would say probably a #0 or a #1 would be ideal. You are right that insecurity attracts nobody. So chin up and good luck with whatever you choose

[warhawk]

dimiakira.....1st of all welcome 2 the sly brotherhood.  i can't add much because all the sly brahs have covered this topic perfectly.  now..... all  ya gotta do is "do the deed" that means get a quality razor like the fusion, mach3, headblade & shave that noggin' smooth.  bald is better than balding.  anyways.... post up often & do some good research in the headshaving section 2 get some gr8 tips on headshaving.  keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.

WARHAWK

[Alexander215]

Welcome bro:
1. Was it harder to meet new women then when you had hair? Does it improve your chances or decline it? Or it doesn't matter
I would say 50/50, but if it will better your self image your going to feel more comfortable in your own skin, and women pick up on that.

2. Does your work life suffer. (Maybe i should do something like Security, Police Army )
Heck no, a happy employee is a productive employee. If your job really sucks nothing will change though

3. Do your friends perceive you differently
Hard to say

4. Does your quality of your life decline.
Improved! I went from worrying about how I look, to knowing I look great and not having to worry about anything.

[champ007]

Welcome Dimiakira. The bro's have answered your direct questions but I want to touch on this one line and I hope this makes sense. Your quote: "i figure the only thing more unnatractive then a bald man is a insecure bald man."
First, there is no such thing as a unattractive bald man! Can I get a amen brothers??
Let me throw this at you, have you ever seen a mother call her newborn baby with no hair unattractive? No, its the most beautiful thing in the world! While I was thinking of this it hit me, maybe there is some maternal instinct in women that makes them more attracted to bald men, think about it.
Second, insecurities can be overcame, you have already made great strides from what I read by your career and being a high school dropout. You can overcome this with ease, you just need to accept you. Hair doesn't make the man!
Your 23, and still have alot to experience. You can make this one of the best experiences of your life, your body is showing you what to do, listen to what its telling you!

Yes guys, I checked and its me at the keyboard... mind boggling isn't it