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3 months bald -no one seems to like it (but me) by Fant E on 08 Sep, 2017 13:18
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So for years i was uncomfortable with and tried to hide the fact that my hair was thinning. Never went outside without a hat, every mirror reminded me to check if my remaining hair would cover the light areas...
Three months ago, i finally shaved it. I told my wife a few weeks beforehand, so the shock wouldn't be that big for her. When we met (15 yrs ago) i had longish hair, the last years it was cut 'normal' short. She did tell me sometimes (even long before my balding really showed of), she has a thing for bald men.
But as things got real, she was very reluctant. Although i told her, that i would need her support with this decision, to become/stay confident with being bald, she barely could make me the smallest compliment since i shaved. So i showed her pictures from right before and after to compare, and she even agreed it looks much better now. Still, i don't feel supported by her in that regard. Only when i let it grow out for a week or longer, i get a positive comment about it.
Other people like family, coworkers and friends haven't been very supportive, too. I don't get called names all the time, but there also hasn't been any positive comment so far. Very few people tried to be friendly by calling me brave, but nobody said it would look attractive, or masculine, or cool, or anything nice. The most common reactions were silence and questioning why. Because of that, i still wear a hat most of the time. I only feel comfortable without it, when i am around strangers who don't know me at all or not for very long.
I know, what matters is only how i like it and i should show my head no matter what. But i am still working on my confidence, having the feeling everybody dislikes my appearance doesn't help with that.
Despite all that, i really like being bald. I love the feeling and how it looks. And i honestly don't understand how unsupportive people are. Mostly, i don't get how my wife doesn't seem to be attracted by me being bald. I know, my head is big and has some dents, but does it really look that bad? I find it suits me quite well.
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#1 by Dragon on 08 Sep, 2017 14:42
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Such a strong look, it's hard to see why you haven't had more support. Your head isn't large and doesnt seem to have any obvious dents. You own the look, they are all jealous.
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#2 by slybeard on 08 Sep, 2017 21:23
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Sorry your wife is not more supportive. You look great, so I suspect it is more due to the change than the actual look. Ladies seem to like stability, and when their man makes a change in appearance, it can cause them some insecurity. They may even think we are trying to make ourselves more attractive in hopes of attraction another woman. This can all be at a sub-conscience level and they do not even realize it, they just have the bad feelings.
So give her some time - a lot of guys have said that it took 6 months or more for the mental change to take place with their wives.
Mothers will never like it, and others usually just do not comment. -
#3 by Ronan on 08 Sep, 2017 22:33
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Probably because no one Care's. To you it's a big decision but to others you just shaved your head. Everyone has there own problems to deal with. Remember baldness will effect you more then those around you because most people simply don't care. Once you are happy is the main thing
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#4 by Semi-Sly on 15 Sep, 2017 21:24
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first. Few people are looking at you or care what do you look like . you just turn all that important to the rest of the world
Second it doesn't matter what other people think anyway. How do you FEEL?
third my unsolicited advice to you is to either get rid of that beard entirely or keep the trip short . figured with the scraggly gray hairs is detracting from you.r rveryyouthful looks. -
#5 by invaray on 15 Sep, 2017 22:17
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Stop wearing hats. You look great as is let people get used to it including yourself. No more hats.
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#6 by Hieu Tran on 17 Sep, 2017 10:58
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You liked your look, right? That's perfect.
Live for yourself, you can't satisfy all people around you, but you know at least you satisfy yourself. -
#7 by Hieu Tran on 17 Sep, 2017 20:17
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I found this this morning and think of you
Enjoy
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#8 by Lancslad on 06 Oct, 2017 13:12
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You really look great! I first shaved mine a little over a month ago. Never had long hair since I was married, but clearly knew my wife likes long hair on men (although it would never happen with me, as I hate it). So, that made my decision to shave a bit more difficult. Not only no long hair, but shaving off what little I had left adding insult to injury. But, at least she acts very supportive. Don't know how much she REALLY likes it. A lot of good advice given from the others. You look smashing, you like it, carry on with life. As said above, wives can be subconsciously nervous of us looking better and as for others, they could just not be used to your new look and it will with time become natural and others might just not care..."So you shaved your head...now on with my own life". At first I was walking around thinking I looked and felt great, everyone should notice, but people have their own lives. At least only one person said to me, "It'll grow back". Feels great to not have something to hide and a great feeling to let the water run down your head in the shower with no bother of hiding anything after. Stay with it mate!
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#9 by bud on 04 Nov, 2017 08:38
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Welcome Fant
looking great with the bald
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#10 by Goatee on 04 Nov, 2017 16:10
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Suits you buddy
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#11 by Ben1815 on 13 Nov, 2017 03:34
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Looking great. The 'Sly' look really suits you.
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#12 by Fant E on 16 Nov, 2017 03:48
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Thank you all for your friendly words and advice. I trimmed the beard a bit, which makes the grey hairs less visible, it looks cleaner and nicer now, i think.
As for the head, right now my hair has grown out for 3 weeks. Mainly because my wife still can't handle my clean shaved look. She still begs me to keep some stubble. Wants at least the length when it starts to get soft to touch, although she also said the smooth skin would feel nice too. She says it was too suddenly, too soon, cannot adapt to me having no hair, but it has been almost half a year since my first headshave. So why doesn't she try to get used to it, when she even said it would feel nice and look objectivly better? And i very clearly told her how unpleasant the grown out balding look feels for me.
Additionally, she now dislikes the beard too
"not kissing-friendly" ...suggested something like an amish-beard, which i don't like at all.
(to clear that up, she "still loves me an finds me generally atrractive")
So i don't know what to do. Letting it grow makes me feel bad, shaving it stops her being attracted to me...
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#13 by slybeard on 16 Nov, 2017 08:51
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As to the feel of the beard, if the beard hairs are kept trimmed short, it will feel prickly and rough. Once the beard and mustache hairs have enough length to lay down, it transitions to a soft feel.
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#14 by Lancslad on 16 Nov, 2017 18:52
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It's been over two months since my first head shave, but only about a month or so since I shaved to the skin, no stubble. The stubble looks fine, but I don't feel good with it. My wife also says from time to time that she likes to feel the stubble, but at least she says afterwards that it's my head and I should do as I like. So...I have some idea of what you mean. I wish I knew what to say. As for me, as I see it, I spent enough years with an uncomfortable comb over to please everyone else. Now that I finally shaved, I have to do it my way and be me. Although it is a bit difficult knowing that my wife doesn't really fancy it (she's even always preferred long hair on men). I suppose all I can do is empathize with you. As for the beard, my wife has also said that it pokes. Not kissing friendly. I've not sorted that yet, but one thing I do is shave the hair under my lower lip and then try to kiss more with my lower lip to keep my mustache from poking her as much. Haha! I haven't heard any feedback yet.