I'm new and on the fence

[Kenozoik]

Hey everyone,

Not sure if I should post this in "Introductions" or "To be or not be... Bald" - my story is a little of both. I've been lurking around for a little while but never bothered posting until now, the reason being that I'm seriously considering shaving my head in the near future. Before I get to my immediate situation though, I guess I should tell you a little about myself and how I got here.

First of all, I'm a (nearly) 19-year-old sophomore in college. I was born in another country, but due to a war there I had to move twice before I was seven. I finally ended up in the United States, where I started going to the 1st grade. I'm mentioning all this because, along with some other stuff, it laid the foundation for me being a sort of perennial outcast; for most of K-12, I had a very hard time fitting in and was very shy and insecure about myself.

Looking back, my sophomore and junior years of high school make it seem like I was on the verge of a turning point. I was having a pretty good time, growing more confident and I even remember starting to feel like I stood a chance with the girls. Unfortunately, that's when genetics reared it's ugly head. Within two years, I went from this to this, and I'm not even sure the second one shows just how bad it was.

I'm not gonna bother describing the details of how I realized and tried to cope with balding at such a yougn age... I'm sure you can imagine how it felt to go to prom with the hairline of a 30-year-old. I will tell you what I did though... I ended up spending hours on hairlosstalk.com and eventually starting up on the "Big 3" shortly before my 18th birthday (Propecia, Rogaine, and Nizoral).

It's been a year and I've definitely had results: my hairline has more or less returned and I've stopped wearing hats. So why am I here? Well, as time goes by, I realize more and more that hairloss is a psychological problem. By getting on those drugs, I was hoping that I'd not only regain a full head of hair but a confidence and life that I never really had as well. Now, despite my success in regaining hair, I realize I still largely feel like the insecure and unconfident individual I was in senior year of high school.

Currently going through another "shed", I think I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will be bald one day. I've also come to realize that slightly regrowing my hair might not stop my self-consciousness or insecurities either. More than wanting to regrow my hair, I want to get rid of all the negatives that have surrounded my life during this whole hair-loss period - I want to be free and feel good about myself. Browsing this forum and talking to people like my (sly) uncle, I see you guys seem to be there, happy and confident with your lives and who you are. That's why a part of me wants to just shave it all off and get it over with (I already bought a headblade and gel two weeks ago); as skeptical as I am, I really hope it can be that liberating experience that so many of you seem to have had.

What's stopping me? Well, I guess the same insecurities that have been killing me for years now :/. Mainly, I'm worried that at 19 I'm way too young to shave my head, or that my 6'1/160lb frame and balkan chin couldn't pull off the look. I threw the idea around with some friends, hoping for reassurance, and they make it seem like it'd be social suicide. I'm worried that it'd be a mistake and that all the problems I have with self-cosciousness and girls would just be amplified. That's the struggle that's been going on in my head for a while now. Still, I think I'm closer and closer to taking the plunge... right now I'm wrestling with the idea of just going to the barber and getting it done with tomorrow.

Thanks in advance for any responses

p.s. here's a picture I took of me with a hat... you don't see any hair besides the sideburns, so I think it gives you a good idea of my facial features and how I might look shaved

[PBurke]

first of all welcome. my family tends to lose hairlines early. i was right about where you are when i was 19. shaving can be a very positive/liberating thing. only recently have i realized how insecure i was when i had hair. after seeing some pics i realized that it was worse than i remember. i went nowhere without a hat. since i shaved my head i really don't wear them. ever.this place is full of very positive people. you should enjoy it here. as for how you will look? hell i don't see any reason why it wouldn't look great. try it out for awhile. really the only way to know. if you have any questions or concerns bro, post them. pretty sure someone can help with answers. good luck and look forward to getting to know you better. PAULIE

[JDog]

Ken you have come to the right place for the support and encouragement if you do decide to go sly.

The only true way that you will know if you like it is to just go for it and shave it.


I believe you will feel more confident and free than you ever felt with hair.

Post up and let us know what you decide to do.

Jesse

[Koaa2]

Welcome to the site. You seem like a pretty bright guy to have already identified that reaction to hair loss is purely psychological and that hair loss companies are making a fortune off of peoples insecurities about it. We as humans have insecurities about all kinds of stuff, weight, looks, sexuality, social positions, employment, income, etc, etc. Learning how to cope with these is part of growing up and accepting oneself for what we are, not what society and others want us to be.

Go for it, like the others have said, you can always go back. If friends and girls only like you for a full head of hair, they probably weren't good friends or a good catch in the first place.

[KALBO]

Welcome to SBGs, Kenozoik! I started losing my hair at an alarming rate just before I turned 19...looking back, I wish I would have shaved it all then.  Today, it is a lot more popular...so suggest you try it for a bit(1-2 months at least).  If you don't like it(doubt that will be the case), you can always grow it back.  Post a pic here where you can get even more feedback...before and after.  Once again, I'm confident once you go SLY...you won't want to go back!

[Tyler]

Kenozoik, glad you found Sly Bald Guys!

Like the others have said.  Shave it off and give it 30 days or more to grow on you (bad pun intended  ) I'm sure you'll find the liberation and confidence that you're searching for as so many of us have found.

Remember to ask us for advice on anything.  That's what we're here for.

[warhawk]

kenozoik..... welcome 2 the sly brotherhood.   the sly brahs & me can give u all the encouragement, support, & faith 4  u  2  "do the deed".  however.... it will eventually b  up  2  u....when it comes 2 shaving your own noggin'.  it's like guiding a very thirsty horse 2 a  river but it is up 2 that horse 2 quench its thirst.

right now.... i  c  your thirst but.... will u  drink this ice, cold spring water?  u  already know the answer.  the answer is 2 put a quality razor (fusion, mach3, hb) on your dome & make it smooth.  SIMPLE !!!  .....but it ain't because it is the fear of the unknown:  will i look funny?  will i look sick?  will i look like i am going thru chemotherapy?  the answer is no, no, and hell no.  u will look good.  and i promise u that your 1st words will  b...."i shoulda done this sooner"

all i gotta say is.. the sooner u will do the deed....then the sooner u will b a re-born man.  i'm telling ya..... the feeling is liberating.  u feel re-born & re-juvenated.  anyways.... sorry 4 rambling but keep us posted on your journey 2 slyness.  and  c  ya  'round the forum.

WARHAWK

[Scott]

Kenozoik, welcome to SBG!  Warhawk pretty much said what I was going to say, so I'll just say that it truly is liberating to take control and when you shave it off you do experience a newfound sense of confidence and freedom.  Looking back, my hair began receding about my Jr year of high school but I didn't really notice until after my senior year during the summer when I got a short buzz cut and it just didn't grow back in as nicely as I expected it to - I'd never had my hair that short.  Long story short though, I wore my hair short for the next 10 years and finally had had enough, joined up here, got the push & encouragement I needed, and haven't looked back since!  I'm telling you man it's awesome being a sly bald guy!

[Paul]

You've already gotten great advice from the other sly guys so I'll just say welcome and follow their advice.  And like Ty said, don't be shy about asking for more input or support.   Every member here is glad to help.

[shyslyguy]

Hi & welcome Keno,

From your intro & your pics it sounds & looks like you don't have to rush into anything just yet unless you want to .... my advice would be to hang out here for a while & check out some of the old threads ... then maybe shave it all off for a while & see how you feel about it . as most of the others bro's have said.. it's a liberating experience & I wouldn't be surprised if you decided to stick with the look from then on (& you'll save a lot of money that you'll otherwise have to continue spending on the meds) but if not, at least then you've put your toe in the water so to speak & you can then grow it out again for a while at least. I'm sure once you've shaved it though, most of your fears & anxieties will at the very least diminish, & quite possibly completely disappear!

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide to do & if you do decide to go for it (& again, I think you should) be sure to post up some pics

[Kenozoik]

Hey guys, thanks for all your comments.

One thing I'm thinking about: should I first try out a buzz cut and, if so, what grade? I feel like maybe it will be a little easier to go through with. On the other hand, I got a kind of longish buzz cut a year and a half ago when my hairline was the worst and it was probably the most awful haircut of my life... instead of making me forget about my hair-loss, it made it 10x more obvious.

[MLNHD]

Hi Kenozoik, and welcome to SBG.  You've already received great input -- but I'll put my oar in the water.  Perhaps the "longish buzz cut" didn't work because it was too long.  I think the reason the short buzz cut works for us MPB guys is that it makes a bold statement (although less bold than completely SLY) that says, "here I am, this is my obvious and up-front follicular distribution, take it or leave it, because it is what it is, and I'm good with it."  There is no attempt to make a cranium covered with quarter inch hair look like something it isn't.  

I don't know what a "longish buzz" is in your book, but when I picture one on me, I see an overgrown, un-mown lawn, too long to stand up and too short to lie down, yearning for a good clipping.  A good quarter-inch buzz has a sharp edge, follows the contours of the head, and really removes hair as a distraction OR detraction.  Soooo, I'd recommend a close buzz -- yes, about a quarter inch -- certainly no longer than three-eighths.  

Theshort buzz will be a good stepping stone for the near or distant future when you decide to scrape the dome.  After a month or two or year of a short buzz, you'll be used to the shape of your head and the look in the mirror.  I predict that curiosity will get the best of you and you'll be razoring it off and a week later you'll be addicted to smooth.  

I respect your introspection about what makes you tick.  You're obviously a perceptive fellow.  I'll shut up after I toss a final thought your way.  Who you are is between your ears, whether you have tresses like Fabio or a pate like Yule.  You can't choose what you're dealt, but you can choose to use life's experiences to make you stronger and not let the cards you're dealt actually define you.  The bold frontal attack of a buzz or shave preemptively removes 'balding' from the definition, and makes you the author of your look, by CHOICE!

Sorry guys -- ask me the time and I'll tell you how to build a watch.  I'll shut up now.  

Cheers & Best Wishes,

mlnhd    

[OzPete]

Welcome, Kenozoik! Like others said give sly a try for a month and see how you like it. 

[xnewyawka]

The short buzz will be a good stepping stone for the near or distant future when you decide to scrape the dome.  After a month or two or year of a short buzz, you'll be used to the shape of your head and the look in the mirror.  I predict that curiosity will get the best of you and you'll be razoring it off and a week later you'll be addicted to smooth.
  

mlnhd, great post! You pretty much covered it. And I will only add that I agree with your prediction on time frame.
I actually was getting my hair buzzed at a #1 for about a month before I brought it down closer with a 0a. Anyway, it didn't take me but a week to get that feeling to " take it all down". At this point, it is true; you can stand it no longer, and will finally get your razor of choice and do the deed.
Then you will be truly addicted to the "smooth".

[MLNHD]

Xnewyawka, I think we went SLY in about the same time frame.  Ain't it great?!

We're still expectantly awaiting a SLY pic....   

Best,

mlnhd