Is this really the "acceptance" stage?

• Is this really the "acceptance" stage? by Vince on 18 Aug, 2016 23:50
• Sometimes I watch youtube videos of bald guys who tell their stories and how they came to the acceptance stage.  I watched one the other day.  He said he went through all the stages, "Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and finally Acceptance."
  
  However, he says that he has decided to wear hats everywhere all the time.  He says that is his way of accepting the fact that he is balding.  He says he likes hats anyway so it's a win/win for him.
  
  My question is:  Is that really acceptance?  I don't think so.  To me, he's still in the bargaining stage.  It's more like he's saying, "Okay, I accept that I'm going bald, but lemme just cover it with hats all the time so no one can see it and I won't be embarrassed about it."  I did that for 9 years straight and let me tell you, that is not fun because there always comes a time where you are confronted with taking off your hat (church, funerals, sex, etc...) and if you are not comfortable with people seeing your balding head, it is very embarrassing to you.
  
  So what do you guys think?  Has this fella really reached the acceptance stage?
• #1 by Sir Harry on 19 Aug, 2016 03:12
• Well, to me, the acceptance stage could be subjective. I wore hats for a little while after I shaved permanently, but I stopped wearing them after about a month because shaved heads were so common, I came to terms that if all of these bald guys were showing it, why couldn't I? In his case, some people can shed the shame factor faster than others, however in some cases a hat may be necessary, especially when outdoors for an extended period. However, hats shouldn't be worn indoors, though that too may be subjective.
• #2 by Magoo on 19 Aug, 2016 03:48
• If he is wearing the hat most of the time , he's  not there yet. I remember being at that stage . Takes sometime to get the confidence to bare it all.
• #3 by Razor X on 19 Aug, 2016 04:03
• No, he's definitely not there yet.
• #4 by Vince on 19 Aug, 2016 08:07
• To give you guys a little more info.  He has not shaved his head or even done a buzz cut.  He is wearing his hair normally with the MPB showing.  He says he will just wear hats ALL the time, period.
• #5 by amatlock2778 on 19 Aug, 2016 08:54
• For me, the inly time i wear a hat is when im around certain family members who like to make jokes about bald guys, especially by choice bald guys like myself, or when im required to, like at work. I hate when sly guys wear hats constantly when in public. If its not part of an overall (read that as formal) style choice, or required part of dress code for a job or something, show it off. The vast majority of sly guys look great bald, regardless of head shape or weather by choice or nature. Infact, despite how popular of a style choice as sly is right now, i wish it were even more popular. My dream would be if the only guys who arent sly were the exceptionally rare few who wouldnt look good bald.
• #6 by Cobranet on 19 Aug, 2016 14:48
• It sounds like he's still trying to hide it, sorta like a comb over.... It won't fool anyone. Being bald either by choice or by nature is just another hair style just like wearing it long or short or a Mohawk. I enjoy shaving my head but you hair style should not rule your life, if you can't leave the house without a hat or something to hide your head how are you supposed to live your life being so obsessed with your looks. Hats are a choice and a fashion statement not a shield to hide from the rest of humanity behind.
• #7 by Magoo on 19 Aug, 2016 15:39
• When I was younger I often said "a hat was the poor mans hairpiece " . It was sort of a jest. But not far from the truth.
• #8 by SlyMike on 21 Aug, 2016 09:56
• I only wear hats when I'm trying to stop my head from getting sunburnt, I wouldn't say that it was acceptance to wear them all the time.
• #9 by Laser Man on 21 Aug, 2016 12:50
• He's still in denial.  It doesn't matter if he likes hats.  Wearing a hat all the time means he's reluctant to show his MPB. 
• #10 by TheSlyBear on 22 Aug, 2016 09:51
• "Hiding" is never acceptance.
  
  This is just one step above "I've accepted my hair loss so I'll just spend my time in this dark room so no one can see it."
• #11 by Vince on 23 Aug, 2016 05:32
• Yep.  Interesting replies everyone and I agree.
  
  He really has not reached the acceptance stage yet if he is not comfortable showing his head.  Deciding to wear hats "all the time" is hiding it.
  
  I used to be in his shoes.  I did the exact same thing for 9 years.  Although the difference between him and me was I knew I wasn't accepting it.  I knew that I was hiding it because I didn't want to accept it.  It's no different from the guys who wear hair pieces and toupees, or the guys who take rogaine, etc...  These guys are trying to hide it or make it go away because they don't want anyone to see it.
  
  Going that route brings on a whole new set of challenges and until they finally "accept" their baldness, they will be chained to the various methods of deception they have chosen.
  
  I've been chained and now I am free.  Being free is so much better, imo.
• #12 by Aquabat6 on 25 Aug, 2016 08:41
• I remember being in the "hat" stage myself.  I really do believe that when you go through the process of balding, you proceed through the stages:  Denial, Acceptance, ect.   It's much more invigorating when you choose to let go and accept the look.  Here's an article that talks about the stages of balding. 
  
  http://baldsmanship.com/stages-balding-path-baldsmanship/
  
  I will say that anyone who is depending on hats for "avoidance" has not yet reached acceptance.  Right now, my buddy is going through the same thing with hats.  Using hats almost makes it much worse when you have to ditch them.  When you have to take the hat off, it's like someone pulling up your toupee.
• #13 by Vince on 27 Aug, 2016 04:31
• Quote from: Aquabat6 on 25 Aug, 2016 08:41

  Using hats almost makes it much worse when you have to ditch them.  When you have to take the hat off, it's like someone pulling up your toupee.
  

  
  Man oh man, are you telling me!!!
  
  I remember one time being at a party and I was on the dance floor getting my groove on when some chick came up from behind me and snatched off my hat and put it on her head and ran across to the other side of the room.  There I was standing there in the middle of all these people and I felt completely naked!!!  Omg!  It was the worst feeling ever.  I could just FEEL everyone's eyes directed straight at my head and I was so embarrassed.  Every second that I was hatless, felt like an eternity.
  
  My heart was beating faster.  I just wanted to shrivel up into a tiny one inch tall person and run out the door.  She FINALLY came back and put my hat back on my head.  Whew!  Having that hat back on felt like water putting out a fire.
  
  All I could think about was how many people saw my head and I hoped they would forget that sight now that it was covered again.  So glad I don't live with that fear anymore.