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Losing My Hair (with dignity) by tellersquill on 15 Nov, 2015 12:00
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Hey folks,
I've been losing my hair since my early twenties and I've progressed to around a Norwood 2. Most of the time it doesn't bother me - I think it would if it happened when I was a teenager or if it was like a Norwood 5.
I've decided not to fight it. Pills look like they can cause impotence, they cost a lot, and don't always work. Transplants are costly and often not overly successful. And wigs, please, lets not even go there.
So the only choice is to let it recede and do a Larry David or, which is what I'll probably do, shave it off and hope that it suits me.
I'd like to think I'm not a vain man. That I am somehow impervious to my looks, that I have more important things to worry about, but that would be a lie. I do care how I look - not to an excessive amount - but enough to worry that I might lose 'my looks'.
It's odd what some of us go to stay appealing to the opposite sex. I've known I was losing my hair for over five years, so I purposefully built up more muscle to look stronger. That might sound odd but I always felt that a well built bald man looks better than a skinny bald man (maybe you disagree).
Anyway, this is my short introduction. I suppose I'm here to be in a positive community so that when I take the plunge I will have good advice. I've seen some hairloss forums that are filled with misery and anger.
Also, here is a quick picture of me with my recession. I've brushed it back so you can see how it looks without being styled.
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#1 by MunkyMunk on 15 Nov, 2015 13:07
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Us guys are taught that we're not supposed to care about our looks, that we're not supposed to be "vain." But at the same time, our culture worships youth and celebrity good looks. In fact, the male celebrities of today are not even supposed to look overtly masculine except for some rare exceptions like George Clooney.
So we end up suffering in silence and wondering whether we look like we're going bald, or whether we really need washboard abs, or whether we're silly for wondering all this.
A brotherhood like Sly Bald Guys is part of the solution because it's an accepting place where guys like us can come to ask questions of other men that we can't ask our fathers or our brothers or our friends.
As I mentioned elsewhere, brother, while your hairline is clearly receding, you don't look like you're "balding" yet. So you don't need to start picturing yourself looking like Larry David, for god's sake! You do look like you're maturing, and there's nothing wrong with that. You still have a decent head of hair. Your worrying is what will make it a bad situation for you.
Take care of your health, stay fit, and learn to like the guy in the mirror. That will carry over and any romantic targets will pick up on that more than anything. Women are much less judgmental about appearance than men are (not all, but generally speaking).
Take care of yourself and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who was asking you for advice. Why would you be less kind to yourself than you would be to a friend?
That's dignity. -
#2 by tellersquill on 15 Nov, 2015 13:57
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Us guys are taught that we're not supposed to care about our looks, that we're not supposed to be "vain." But at the same time, our culture worships youth and celebrity good looks. In fact, the male celebrities of today are not even supposed to look overtly masculine except for some rare exceptions like George Clooney.
So we end up suffering in silence and wondering whether we look like we're going bald, or whether we really need washboard abs, or whether we're silly for wondering all this.
A brotherhood like Sly Bald Guys is part of the solution because it's an accepting place where guys like us can come to ask questions of other men that we can't ask our fathers or our brothers or our friends.
As I mentioned elsewhere, brother, while your hairline is clearly receding, you don't look like you're "balding" yet. So you don't need to start picturing yourself looking like Larry David, for god's sake! You do look like you're maturing, and there's nothing wrong with that. You still have a decent head of hair. Your worrying is what will make it a bad situation for you.
Take care of your health, stay fit, and learn to like the guy in the mirror. That will carry over and any romantic targets will pick up on that more than anything. Women are much less judgmental about appearance than men are (not all, but generally speaking).
Take care of yourself and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who was asking you for advice. Why would you be less kind to yourself than you would be to a friend?
That's dignity.
Thanks man. I liked the last paragraph of your post. If it happened to a friend I would tell them not to worry about it.
I don't think I look like Larry David but give it ten years and maybe I will.
It's crazy how terrifying it is to shave all your hair off! -
#3 by MunkyMunk on 15 Nov, 2015 15:56
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It's crazy how terrifying it is to shave all your hair off!
I agree!
But how liberating to do something so terrifying and to realize that your fears were for nothing! Someday I might grow my hair back, but how liberating to realize that even if I grow my hair back, I no longer fear going bald!
It's all good.