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#15
by
oakdan5
on 29 Sep, 2015 13:11
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Well that is the problem, we automatically have to assume a women is shallow because she has preferences. The way I see it, it is just how things are. Bald gets it the worst, just like being short, because of the way it stigmatized in the media and society as a whole. I won't call a girl shallow if she dismisses me for dating, but I will if she disrespects and doesn't treat as if I am human or a person she wants to associate with because I am balding.
I have recently exp this too. I have a set of friends whom are married now, but hung out with them a lot through college, were very close. She always liked me, tried to set me up with her friends etc, I knew she had a dislike for bald men..based on comments I have heard from the past. Well when I saw them this trip, she didn't even greet me, seemed very unwamting of me to hang out with them for a night out. Well it is not someone I have to see hardly ever, but it makes me feel like chit that someone can just not want to associate with me after a decade of knowing them due to losing hair. I would take her off my Facebook if it was not for me and her husband being good friends.
Another group of girls whom I met when out with another friend, after meeting me wanted to go home instead of going out. This is the group were I overheard the bald and pale comment. They ended up coming out anyways, and chatted with me a bit, but I got the vibe they were doing it because my friend had asked them to. I don't know how I am suppose to be just cool with all this, and just write everyone off as shallow, there won't be many people around to talk to. It is just a superficial society we live in and I got dealt a bad hand.
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#16
by
mrzed
on 29 Sep, 2015 15:15
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Too pale? Do as Stanley Tucci did in "Shall We Dance". Put on some spandex dance pants, fake teeth, a wig and some fake suntan lotion, and go dance. (NOT).
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#17
by
Cave Dweller
on 29 Sep, 2015 20:52
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So, if you will be happier with your hair, then grow it out. No need to try to justify it to us.
I can tell you that I met my wife when I was 31 and was down to just a horseshoe. Not all women are into just the hair on a man's head even if their fantasy ideal guy has a full head of thick locks.
Life really is far too short to waste it agonizing over something like this, sir. Do what makes you feel good about yourself.
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#18
by
chgobuzzbald
on 29 Sep, 2015 22:31
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You just have to find a look that gives you confidence. You seem a bit too focused on what girls think about you. You may be suffering from low self worth. That is a concept in your mind only. Change your thoughts and you will change your reality. Grow you hair as long as you want it if that gives you self worth. But wouldn't it be faster to find self worth in other ways ? Like working out hard and being known for your great body. Or excelling in a career you love. I do both of these things and don't care about hair on my head. I actually enjoy the feel of a fresh shave and a smooth head. No one can tell if I am naturally bald or just do it because I like it. If someone decides they don't like the bald me my self worth is strong enough to take it. You should be the same. If you continuously tell yourself girls will reject you for being buzzed or smooth bald you will find that's all you see. You will overlook the girls who love bald shaved men and what they can do with a smooth head during intimate encounters.... Go claim your high self worth and give yourself permission to have high self worth as a great balding/buzzed/shave headed guy. I will say older girls have more attraction to bald guys than those in their early 20's who have yet to experience a hot shaved bald man. Try girls closer to 30 who know more bald men other than their dad. All of us here just try to help guys find their self worth as a bald man. Everyone LOVES and wants to be around a CONFIDENT man. That's all. Find your confidence and self worth and let it shine. Hair on your head alone will never give you confidence. Lose the life limiting belief that head hair provides total success with girls. That's the only problem you have.
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#19
by
oakdan5
on 29 Sep, 2015 22:57
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Well I do have several sources of self worth. I have a good career, I work out a lot, I fly planes, I do feel good about myself as a whole, I would not even have a problem with it if women did not make such a deal of it. The only part of my life that it bugs me is dating, which is understandable, which I also think is an important aspect of life. I don't care if girls here and there reject me because of it, but when the majority do and some girls won't even associate with you because of it it makes that part of my life seem it is necessary to do so. I might need to consider getting rid of some friends.
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#20
by
Semi-Sly
on 29 Sep, 2015 23:45
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I fly planes too! Even built the one I fly now. Like Bruce Willis said in the movie; "The Kid":
"We're not losers - we're pilots!"
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#21
by
john.peachie
on 30 Sep, 2015 01:23
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You seemed pretty disillusioned in your original post. Then defended your position. It gets confusing.
To me "...developed a way to appear extremely confident ESP after a few drinks" and actually "Being Confident" are in 2 separate hemispheres...Hell, that's 2 different planets; but being just plain old boring confident (sober or not), has never let me down.
Bottom line, if it is working for you, then great! If it is not then make some adjustments, but don't think the people you surround yourself with will make the changes for you; or if you expect them to accommodate your expectations...you will remain disappointed leaving you with wrinkles, age, and a balding head to blame.
Do whatever you think will work best in your situation, you are the best author for that story...there has been a lot of sound advice, and personal experiences shared in these matters, now it's up to you to make the changes (or not) you think are best. Best of luck to you.
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#22
by
J_Dub
on 30 Sep, 2015 05:56
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Seems like some inner turmoil. We all go through it. Just remember anytime you're in a battle with yourself, there is still going to be a winner and a loser. Hopefully you come out on top.
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#23
by
jbrit25
on 30 Sep, 2015 08:51
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If you don't like it grow it back. If you don't like that people don't like it, grow it back. If you want to grow your eyebrows out so long they will cover your entire head then do it. Bottom line is you have to be good with what you see in the mirror.
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#24
by
Laser Man
on 30 Sep, 2015 10:20
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Your comment about us automatically assuming a woman is shallow because she has preferences is wide of the mark. Having preferences doesn't make anyone shallow, but ignoring someone you have known for years (as you described) because of the person changed his appearance indicates shallowness. Everyone is entitled to have preferences, by that doesn't grant people the right to be rude to others.
My brethren here on the site and I are only trying to tell you that there are many women who are not put off by bald men and many women who are really attracted to bald men. If you think growing your hair back will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, then do it. There is no law requiring a guy with MPB to shave his head. If there was, a boatload of guys would be fined or in jail for disobeying it.
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#25
by
Tyler
on 30 Sep, 2015 10:55
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Oakdan5, if women are telling you how much they don't like your bald head, then its because you are giving them permission to do so. Either you are showing that you don't have confidence in yourself, or your bringing up the topic and showing your disappointment in going bald and asking them to agree with you.
While not every woman is going to like a bald head, just like every woman doesn't like blonde hair, most women don't give a crap if you're confident in yourself.
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#26
by
oakdan5
on 30 Sep, 2015 12:06
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Your comment about us automatically assuming a woman is shallow because she has preferences is wide of the mark. Having preferences doesn't make anyone shallow, but ignoring someone you have known for years (as you described) because of the person changed his appearance indicates shallowness. Everyone is entitled to have preferences, by that doesn't grant people the right to be rude to others.
My brethren here on the site and I are only trying to tell you that there are many women who are not put off by bald men and many women who are really attracted to bald men. If you think growing your hair back will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, then do it. There is no law requiring a guy with MPB to shave his head. If there was, a boatload of guys would be fined or in jail for disobeying it.
Totally agree about the being rude and shallow part and it makes me think that I should get different friends. It doesn't mean that it won't affect me a little, I have not changed as a person at all, actually have advanced in career and in life..but to be treated as less for something that is beyond my control is bothersome regardless. As far as growing my hair back, the answer for now is yes. I feel better and get treated better.
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#27
by
Sir Harry
on 30 Sep, 2015 12:23
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Well, if you choose to grow your hair back, there is nothing wrong with that at all. There is also nothing wrong with changing the people in your inner circle if the ones that are there presently are causing a negative impact on you. That said, regardless of what you decide to do with your head, we want you to keep in touch, a shaved head is not a requirement for membership here. In time, once you believe in yourself, everyone else will either believe in you, or will leave you alone. Some people just love to make comments just to get a rise out of people because they know they can. It's just up to you to be strong to block it all out. Good luck, man and stay strong@
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#28
by
Laser Man
on 30 Sep, 2015 13:39
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No-one likes to feel rejected, that's for sure. The question is how important to you are the people whom you sense are rejecting you? If they are only casual acquaintances, be careful not to let strangers dictate how you live your life and feel about yourself.
If you feel better with hair, then by all means grow it back.
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#29
by
oakdan5
on 30 Sep, 2015 13:42
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Well, if you choose to grow your hair back, there is nothing wrong with that at all. There is also nothing wrong with changing the people in your inner circle if the ones that are there presently are causing a negative impact on you. That said, regardless of what you decide to do with your head, we want you to keep in touch, a shaved head is not a requirement for membership here. In time, once you believe in yourself, everyone else will either believe in you, or will leave you alone. Some people just love to make comments just to get a rise out of people because they know they can. It's just up to you to be strong to block it all out. Good luck, man and stay strong@
I actually don't mind comments, that is not what bothers me, it is when ppl ignore me or rude to me because my appearance has changed. I guess in a way it can serve as a good screening process for who I should keep around in my life. I have also had some instances where I have dating girls and everything this is going good until she realizes my hair is going is loses interest fast. It is a toss up ok that regard because with a buzzed or shaven head there is nothing left that is hidden about me. When it is grown out with the right haircut I can pass for having all my hair, even though the hairline is back.