Couple days old

[cderochefort]

Hi All!

I want to express gratitude for this forum!  I've been lurking for a few weeks, and it has really helped.  I started losing my hair around 19 and had already struggled with body image issues most of my life before then.  Generally, I just ignored the fact that I was losing my hair, but sometimes I would see a picture and have a few really dark days.  Every time I would see a picture where I realized more hair was gone, I'd have another few dark days.  Honestly had I KNOWN it was possible to just do THIS, all the energy I could have saved myself.  I was really scared my head would look terrible, or because I am 5'7 and 143 pounds and not Bruce Willis that I would look silly bald. I also have a patch of psoriasis on the back of my head I had never really seen and wasn't sure how bad it would look.  The last five years, both girlfriends I've had also vetoed me shaving.  I thought well, if THEY like me with my hair like this, I'll just leave it.  But finding myself single a couple weeks ago, and feeling daring, I just HAD to know what my head would look like.  I jumped out of bed at 4 in the morning a couple weeks ago and went to the drug store and bought clippers and just clipped it all off.  Right away, I was pleased.  I mean since then there have been some iffy days, and I'm wearing a lot of hats (but I have all these cool hats, like my grandfather's fedora from the 1950s, and I was worried they wouldn't look cool anymore, but they do).  But I mean in that first moment I was like, "Oh my god, THAT'S what I've been scared about all these years?  My head is FINE!  I mean, I think the shape is... I don't know... FINE.  I went with the clippers for a few weeks at various lengths and then day before yesterday, after reading instructions on this site, I just went with the razor, mostly just dying of curiosity for how it would look.  I think this is my favorite so far.  And now that I can see the patch of psoriosis I can actually treat it without all the hair in the way, and even in just a couple days, it's hardly noticeable anymore.  Oh, also, I did not have facial hair, and am trying growing a beard, and I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I think I mostly like it.  Partly I'd rather be clean shaven, but I think with my head shaved, the beard looks better.  Lol, also I got my ears pierced.  I've had a couple friends say, "Midlife crisis" and I was puzzled by that, but I have a sly bald friend and he just laughed and said, 'Yeah, they don't get it.  They don't have shaved heads.  You're just trying out new looks and decorating yourself to match your new head."  I'm just at the point in a week or so when I can start trying different earrings, which seems fun to me.  Anyway, I agree with a lot of people on this site that hair loss in general encouraged me to be in good shape, hit the gym a few times a week, and put a lot of creativity and thought into my clothes.  All of which is quite enjoyable.  But I can't even remember what it's like to take any pride in my hair or do anything but wish it was different.  Reading this board, I saw all the people who obviously feel genuine PRIDE in their heads now.  And not just the look of their heads, it's so great to hear guys say things like they like the TOUCH of their head.  Comparing sand paper to smooth and trading grooming tips.  Like, making out with women, I was always like, blah, don't even pretend to like or touch my hair.  But now I think, the next time, I could be in to someone enjoying the tactile feel of my head.  And all the great pictures on this site of good looking guys looking confident.  It makes me feel like *I* can feel good about the top of my head for the first time since I was a teenager.  Anyway, I like the 30 days idea, and I don't know if it starts from when I clipped or when I shaved.  I currently have toilet paper stuck to my head where I cut myself on a mole that I'd never seen and am going to the dermatologist tomorrow, and I'm still wearing hats to work, so I'm adjusting, but for the most part, I feel like I have an actual LOOK again, instead of an accident.  I feel like I had a CHOICE to make about my hair.  And stories are important to me and nobody writes cool stories about balding guys but BALD guys can be all kinds of different people in stories.  Also, I'm an actor, and I think that's really going to work for me on stage, too.  Having NO hair, I'm hoping, will be a bit of a blank slate for directors.  My hair doesn't create a TYPE now.  I think.  I hope.  I'm a little confused by who I see in the mirror, what with the facial hair, earring, and sly bald head.  I've always been a kind of little dapper guy that gets by on charm and smiles and I look now and ... there's a new set of stuff going on.  More masculine, I guess, and maybe not as approachable, but cooler and with more edge?  But I feel good about the change. 

[slybeard]

Congratulations and a great introduction.  Welcome to the board.

I would encourage you to follow through on the beard idea.  Most sly guys do like having some facial hair.

[cderochefort]

Thanks!  It's good to be here.  And I think the beard is growing in okay.  Bit sparse on the cheek, but I think it could be okay.

[Sir Harry]

What a great story! Thanks for sharing, and welcome!

[mrzed]

Welcome to SBG.  The profile picture looks good.  Sounds like you will be around for awhile.

A beard with a bald head is a good look. 

[tobler1]

Welcome.  From what I can see, the new look very much suits you!

[jbrit25]

Looks good on you man! Sounds like you got a real confidence boost as well.

[K5mow]

Welcome to the forum.

Roger

[cderochefort]

Thanks, guys, for the nice comments and the welcome.  It's good to be here!

[nuts]

The new look really suits and the beard, already well developed, is a winner too.  If you hadn't said I  would have assumed you were well past the 30 dayvrule period.  Welcome.

[nicolaus]

Welcome! The bald head suits you so well that I can't imagine at all you had hair on the head and no beard on face a couple week ago. Enjoy your new style!!

[bennett11]

you look great shaven.  stay with it - boost your self confidence also.

[cderochefort]

Thanks everyone!  I'm so glad this forum is here.  My confidence is slipping a bit.  I have moments when I catch myself in the mirror and think, oh, hey, I look good.  And moments when I look and seem so alien to myself and I wonder if it changes my identity or if I'm as attractive as I was.  Someone at work said, "You look great like this.  But you know you could also grow your hair back if you wanted; you weren't as bald as you think."  But I think what I really want is to be in a place again where I don't think about my looks on a daily basis.  I grew up with a mom who had body image issues and had suffered from bulimia and I got a lot of that on me, but it has been years since I have worried about my physical appearance.  I have enjoyed being in this body for quite a number of years.  Now I'm triggered I guess, and I feel some of those old feelings.  It's great to read this forum though and see these supportive comments.

[Sir Harry]

Nothing wrong with having those kind of days. We just want you to know that you can always come here and vent or whatever anytime. We offer support on more than just hair loss in a way. I must admit, that when I joined almost four years ago, I was going through a very dark period myself and this forum and the guys and gals here have helped me turn it around. You're among friends here!

[cderochefort]

Thank you.   It seems like a great community.    Just got stopped entering the YMCA cause the guy didnt think it was my picture on the computer.   He checked my address.  Checked the birthday.   Still kept looking at me and scrunching his face.   Finally he said "oh you shaved your head!"  Was it weird for everyone to look that different?  That someone believes you are someone else?