For anyone considering taking the plunge, for those who just started, or for anyone who still struggles with accepting their baldness, here's my story.
I'm a musician. I spend my days on the road playing music for lots of people. As you have probably imagined, the entertainment industry can be pretty superficial. For a long time when I was younger, I was always maintaining some kind of hairstyle: from a bright red mohawk, to flat-ironed "emo" hair, to an "elegantly disheveled" faux hawk, I tried it all. Part of having a "look" as a musician was having a cool hairstyle. I spent enormous amounts of time stressing over whether or not my hair was perfect - it HAD to be, because I HAD to look "cool" for the crowd, or for people looking online. It may sound silly to you, but it's a fact of life in the industry I'm in. So you could imagine the absolute horror that I felt when the cute girl at the salon trimming my hair said "You're getting thin up on the crown. This is how male pattern baldness starts."
I was crushed. I was miserable. I was already depressed, and this simply made it worse. Thoughts raced through my head: I'll never get laid again. I'll never make it in the music industry. Everyone's going to think I'm ugly. It was a downward spiral of self-loathing.
I fought with it, trimming my hair in short styles and adding volume to the top to cover up that it was thinning. No one else noticed but me, but that was ALL I noticed. I was counting down the days until I would give up and never have sex again. I discovered the SBG forum and read every page - everyone's stories. It seemed like everyone LOVED being bald, and I wanted to be like that.
One day, I went to Target, bought a pair of clippers, and shaved it down to a buzz. Of course, I was nervous about it. I thought I suddenly looked less stylish, less "hip." The girls on campus said "noooooo! Why did you do that?!" Which of course didn't help at all. But with time... the buzz cut became my new look. Then, I took it shorter. Then, I took it shorter. Then, I got used to it.
Over time, I started to really like the buzz cut. People were starting to say that I looked more mature, more badass, and more distinguished. As time passed, I became more and more accepting of my buzzed hair. When my bandmates dared me to go to the barber shop across the street and shave it, I said "why the heck not?" and went for it. The look was a hit. They liked it, I was still unsure about it, but I knew that if I kept up with it I would accept it.
Over several months, I grew to like it more and more. It truly took time. It wasn't just 30 days; it was more like 600 days. But I grew to like it.
In the band I'm in, I'm the only one with a bald head that doesn't wear a hat. I pushed myself to carry my baldness with pride even on the days that I felt insecure about it. I kept shaving it, kept hitting the gym, took care of myself, and stuck to it. After all, my hair wasn't going to magically un-thin itself so I didn't have much of a choice.
Now, I've completely accepted it. I am proud of my look, and I encourage others to try it, too. The 30 day challenge wasn't long enough for me, but I persevered and now I think that I have the best dang hairstyle out there. It's become part of my true "look." It's a part of who I am, and who I will be for the rest of my life.
At the end of the day, I now look at myself with confidence - not only that I look alright, but that I have a super bold, fashionable hairstyle, and it'll never cost me another dime at a barber shop or salon. Going sly was the right choice. Give it time, let it grow on you, and learn to love it just like I did. You can make it work for you!
Great story, GT13! Thanks for checking back in and giving us the update. Also, continued success to you and your band mates!
Great post. Yes, for some it does take longer than 30 days, and those of us in that boat shouldn't be discouraged. I am in the 600+day category, so it's good to hear your story. You have a great attitude. Thanks.
My baldness hasn't bothered me at all for many years; thinning didn't affect my life (although other things certainly did), and I've been self-buzzzing for a long time, ever shorter & shorter. I suspect that I am older than you and at the risk of sounding arrogant, have a different perspective on the relative importance of hair and "baldness", based on my life's experiences. Many of life's experience help us each mature emotionally and for some, unfortunately, the challenge of accepting early hair loss is one of those "maturing" experiences. It's easier for everyone, and especially for younger guys that "shaved" is also fashionable right now, but should that really matter at all, for any of us?
I am constantly "re-embracing" the shaved look. I tried to see if I could still have something of a high & tight over the winter (it was OK, not great). The tight buzz just looks the best at this point. I think that accepting that I am "bald" has given me the freedom to alternate between being clipped at various lengths (most of which most people would consider "shaved") & occasionally razor shaved, and not really caring what other people think. Primarily clipper shaved for the past several years, I seldom think of myself as having a "shaved" head (because I use a no-guard clipper ranging from #1 to #000000, rather than a razor) although probably everyone else thinks of me as having a "shaved" head and definitely as bald. Trying the razor again for the summer, aiming for 60-90 days of either primarily razor (2-3x/week) or #0A or less. Smooth feel is great, although I do like the feel of a day or 2 of stubble also. When I go from clipper shaved to razor shaved, no one even comments anymore. It's all good, and fun to change it up occasionally.
Awesome post!! Thanks for sharing!