20 years old - looking for some support!

[MacYak]

I've been a long time lurker on this site and have finally decided to make a post of my own. I'm 20 years old and for the past three years, my hair has quickly been thinning. The entire top of my head has been effected and I imagine it's just going to get worse over the next few years.

While reading through posts on this forum, I often find that young guys like me feel alone and afraid.  I admit that I'm afraid of "taking the plunge" and shaving my head, but I have a great network of friends, coworkers and family who would ultimately support whatever I decide to do. Even so, I'm terrified to shave it off.  I worry about standing out in a crowd of peers. At college, there are very few bald guys (I can only think of one out of the thousands of kids at my school).  I'm also nervous that it won't look good on me. Some bald guys like Jason Statham, Keegan Michael Key and Bruce Willis look great bald, but all of them are twice my age or more. I've heard that if you look good with hair, you'll look good bald.  Even though I didn't really worry about my looks when I had lots of hair, I have trouble convincing myself that I'll look equally as good bald.

I need to overcome this obstacle.  It's gotten to the point where I sometimes dread leaving the house without a hat on because I worry about seeing old acquaintances who haven't seen me with thinning hair yet.  Over the past couple years, the few rude comments I've gotten from people about my appearance make me wonder what everyone else is thinking, even though they may not vocalize it.  Again, I feel like if I was older, this would be way easier because I would have friends that are in the same boat.

If any of you have advice for me, I would really appreciate it. I'm really thankful that there's a forum like this where I can see what others are going through/have gone through.

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome to the board, sir!

You are not alone. A lot of us here started losing our hair in our teens. Mine also started at seventeen, and I was obviously losing and thinning all through college.

What you have got to do is not allow yourself to see your hair as some kind of definition or measurement of who you are. Whether you decide to shave it or let it go on its own, it is just hair. The more  anxiety you expend and the more you try to cover up what is happening on your head, the more depressed you are going to get. That anxiety and depression will end up being visible to others and will influence how you interact with the world. It also will bring on the rude comments from people.

Most of us discovered that once people get past the initial surprise of seeing you losing your hair, they don't really notice it anymore unless you cause them to see it by how you act. People are much more interested in you and who you are than whether the top of your head is covered with hair.

Whether or not you decide to shave, you have to have confidence in yourself.

[chgobuzzbald]

What people admire and find appealing in others is  their Confidence in who they are basically. So if you believe you can be confident without hair you are  fine. If you don't then work on that. It took me many years to learn this and at your age I was anything but confident and people detected that somehow. I even did expensive hair transplants that only gave me thin hair on top and scars everywhere else. Now I have found Confidence and am, much more successful. I did have some micro tattoos done to cover the hair transplant scars. But today if I were 20 and in college I would shave my head gladly. I bet there are guys around  your town a little older who are shaved. Certainly if you look there are guys your age concealing hair loss with gels and long hair who you can spot. We here can be your friends. I found inspiration here years ago to buzz down first and later shave. I workout, am muscular, watch my weight and am Confident.

[TheSlyBear]

It's gotten to the point where I sometimes dread leaving the house without a hat on ...

Then it's past the time  to do something about it. You are already self-conscious about your head, what harm could shaving it off at this point do? Might as well make a change for the better.

You've already got a support network in place, the only thing stopping you now is you.

Get out of your own way, and get on with things that are important in life. Looking back, you will wonder why hair became such a central focus and realize that it was all over nothing.

If you are reluctant to go full sly, try a close buzz. I did that for years before I took a razor to my head -- but to be honest, I wish I had done it much sooner.

[Tyler]

Bear has given you some great advice!